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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Need to vent about DH or will scream at him

16 replies

clutteredup · 12/05/2007 10:55

I am extremely tired- see other thread ' I am so sleep deprived' - DH 'kindly' offered to get up with kids at 7 this am so I could have a 'lie in'. This involved him feeding dd2, ignoring ds and dd1 who kept coming in to me for everyhting they needed until 7.30 when he eventually took them downstairs for breakfast, table laid by me last night. I did have a bit of a rest but eneded up coming downstairs as dd2 was screaming blue murder and thought dh needed help. He was sat at the table with his breakfast coffee the newspaper and the computer while dd2 screamed other dc in front of tv as had been since their own breakfat 40 mins earlier. when i suggested she might be hungry ( hadn't finished usual bottle) I was told she would just have to wait as 'I'm having my breakfst'. I lost it a'a bit' ok quite a bit but took myself off upstairs rather than have a row. then fed dd2, turned tv off and got children upstairs to get dressed, got dressed myself, got dd2 dressed, dc still messing around so dh gets involved by shouting at dc and sitting in the bedroom making lego. i leave him to it as he eveidently plans ( i hear through the shouting and noise of crying dc) to take them for a walk. i sit down for 5 mins, having already explained calmly that if i didn't get a rest this weekend i'm likely to lose it big time and something awful might happen - he comes down and gives me a hard time for sitting down!!!!!! now dc are dressed he has gone to get dressed which will take minimum of 45mins to an hour ( it is the weekend) does this make any sense, i'm desperate but needed to get it off my chest, dh thinks he's being really helpful so i should be grateful , if i shout at him he'll merely revert to usual w/e activity of doing his own thing.

OP posts:
berolina · 12/05/2007 10:57

Scream at him.

YANBU.

geekgrrl · 12/05/2007 10:58

quickly change the locks when he does eventually get his arse out of the door?

for you

LoveMyGirls · 12/05/2007 11:00

No don't scream at him, say we need bread then my m8 has called and asked if i can pop round to help with some baking/ gran's party whatever bullshit you can think of then bugger off out for the day. When you get back the children will still be alive and he'll be bloody grateful for how hard you work. DO NOT feel guilty or that he can't cope - he can and will cope. Do not come back before bathtime.

fortyplus · 12/05/2007 11:02

Yes - just 'pop out to the supermarket' or whatever - forget to take a phone and disappear for at least 4 hours!

clutteredup · 12/05/2007 11:04

i haven't the energy to deal with the row which will inevitably ensue if I did that. he's probably not quite as bad as it sounds its jst i am so tired its hard to be nice to anyone

OP posts:
PinkTulips · 12/05/2007 11:09

sounds like dp, he's just struggled out of bed a few mins ago even though i've been up with kids for hours, every time i called i got 'yeah, i'm up'

hé's already announced 'looks like the weathers too bad to do anything' and had a cup of tea and a fag.

i have had one lie in since before xmas and that involved him dumping ds into bed with me for the day when i was shattered after limping about on a sprained foot all week (he'd taken a lie in the day before ) and am so tired from ds crappy sleeping i fell asleep on the couch with ds in my arms last night.... but do you think that it occured to him i could do with a break? oh no!

know what you mean about not screaming at him, always makes the situation worse and doesn't change a thing!

clutteredup · 12/05/2007 11:15

when we had our 'discussion'today i said i'd like to be a man for just one day - my mum always says she's coming back as a man in her next life, i think she has a point.

OP posts:
PinkTulips · 12/05/2007 11:19

oh god yes!

better yet i wish he had to be me for pone day..... preferably when pregnant.... that would teach him a lesson!

clutteredup · 12/05/2007 11:24

btw i started this thread 10 mins after he went upstairs and he's still not done!!!!!

OP posts:
PinkTulips · 12/05/2007 11:28

dp is just about to go up and brush his teeth.... minimum 20 mins.

and it took him 30 mins to get out of bed.

yet he still looks a mess

Jomist · 12/05/2007 11:31

Not unreasonable at all! Do the going out thing and worry about the row later

NappiesGalore · 12/05/2007 11:33

um... hate talking about relationships on here... but i do so know what you mean...
i feel your pain, sisters

clutteredup · 12/05/2007 11:35

he's finally appeared and taken ds and dd1 to the library, but he's in a mood as i'm still on the computer, have been feeding and entertaining dc at the same time, dd2 having a nap at last. always feel the need to justify myself, i asked him if he was ok and he said he was tired!!!!! oh poor darling, he's had a hard time at work this week and still managed to get to the pub twice, in my dreams!!!
Anyway better snatch a nap before dd2 wakes, i'll give her 5mins. still will be in trouble for not cleaning the house, or if i do for not having a rest, know this is one i won't win.

OP posts:
clutteredup · 12/05/2007 11:36

sorry nappies, you are right i just needed to shout it out, i do feel a bit better now. thanks all for listening.

OP posts:
mumto3girls · 12/05/2007 11:50

Take it in turns at the weekend..one up with the dcs ( all of them) on Saturday..one on Sunday...

All's fair!! and do not intervene..and buy earplugs and put an interior lock on your bedroom door

NappiesGalore · 12/05/2007 11:58

cluttered - i was not admonishingyou for talking about it! think you get enough admonishment without me adding to it anyway! i simply meant that I am uptight about talking about my relationship on here. there is NOTHING wrong with you talking if you want to.
(jeez, i know well enough how frustrating it can be to be faced with such behaviour from you 'partner')

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