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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Cms unbelievable!

20 replies

PrettyLittIeThing · 13/04/2018 13:09

I finally chased cm on my ex. He hasn't paid in YEARS. Anyway I was told he was on benefits and that he would have to pay less than £7 a week for FOUR children. I applied in January and didn't receive a payment till April. It was a random amount of £13.44 so I was rather confused. I called them today and queried it and was told this was all he had to pay a fortnight! He is in arrears for non payment and I was told Cms can't chase him for the arrears as his on benefits!! I am furious!! How is this acceptable? I can only imagine ex is laughing his head off. No incentive to work at all then. I mean why would he if he gets away without paying the arrears whilst on benefits?!

OP posts:
Raven88 · 13/04/2018 13:16

How much do you expect them to take if he is on benefits. I think you only get 140 every two weeks?

Original poster
PrettyLittIeThing · 13/04/2018 13:19

Other agencies still take arrears even if your on benefits, he's choosing not to work, he is a fit healthy adult with no dependants. Just can't see him ever working now tbh.

OP posts:
Original poster
PrettyLittIeThing · 13/04/2018 13:19

£13.44 a fortnight.

OP posts:
Bluelady · 13/04/2018 13:19

You can't get blood out of a stone.

Raven88 · 13/04/2018 13:21

I agree that it's not fair. Maybe he is sanctioned and isn't receiving full benefits.

AllStar14 · 13/04/2018 13:26

That's the amount I get a fortnight aswell. It's pathetic but what can you do. My ex also works for cash in hand but again nothing I can do to make him pay more.

Makingdinner · 13/04/2018 14:02

i'm not sure what you're expecting? you don't get a lot on benefits.

Original poster
PrettyLittIeThing · 13/04/2018 14:06

No incentive work I said. Yes poor him, a fit healthy adult choosing not to work so they don't have to pay maintenance. Funny how he owes arrears for tv license yet they still take the money off him even though he's on benefits and rent arrears as they took him to court for it and now he has a lot of arrears to pay off from both of them.

OP posts:
mostdays · 13/04/2018 14:08

Child maintenance should be prioritised over sanctions or repayment of benefit advances and it makes me really cross that it isn't.

Failingat40 · 13/04/2018 14:11

In his case, and in fact any case where men choose not to work to avoid paying maintenance they should be excluded from being entitled to benefits.

This creature has 4 kids to support ffs. He should damn well get off his ass and go out and earn an honest living to pay for his choices.

Eatmycheese · 13/04/2018 14:14

Disgrace.

Sorry, the system sucks

LittleMyLikesSnuffkin · 13/04/2018 14:20

YANBU OP makes my blood boil. A friend of mine has a selfish arse of an ex who tries to wriggle out of paying every chance he gets. Literally beyond stingy. For example he gave the kids a tenner to share between them “for the Easter holidays” (big fucking whoop- that just about covers bus fare!) and then took £10 off the weekly total he owed in child support that week Angry

Where is these people’s self respect?!

Original poster
PrettyLittIeThing · 13/04/2018 14:30

Thanks for the more recent comments. I wasn't actually expecting my ex to get any sympathy. He is choosing to not work and hasn't worked in years. The last job he had wAs in a supermarket at the self check outs and he quit because he said he wasn't going to stand on his feet for 4 hours and when he applied he was told it was at the tills so he thought he would be sitting down! That's how lazy this man is. So don't feel too sympathetic.

OP posts:
TheRoadLessRocky · 13/04/2018 14:48

My dp's ex has never paid anything, spent a lot of time self employed to avoid it, but even when on benefits the csa/cms haven't managed to take anything off him. They've been separated 15 years and we recently got a letter to say they'd identified a back payment and were pursuing him for it. It is £264, for 3 children, for 15 years. It would have been reduced a bit for the last 2 years as the eldest 2 turned 18. But yes, £264 for 3 kids 15 years basically. It's less than £1.50 a week. Fucking joke.

NukaColaGirl · 13/04/2018 14:51

I’m right there with you. I haven’t had a penny. Every time CMS threatens legal action against him, he signs on the dole - because F4J forum informed him of that loophole. Lives in his sisters house rent and bill free, her and his Mum provide any and all luxuries for him. I’m talking holidays abroad and designers clothes. Whenever he works and CMS give him the date of the first deduction from earnings (which is usually 8-10 weeks), he then quits the job before that date. Same cycle for 2 years now.

Somerville · 13/04/2018 14:53

If you only spent £13 points a fortnight on your children, OP, you'd be imprisoned for child neglect, right? Can't house and feed and clothe them for that. And yet NRP's ( mostly fathers) are allowed to. It's pathetic and should be illegal.

The state should loan him the money to pay half the cost of raising his children, and he should have his passport and driving license taken away until he manages to clear that debt to the state himself at some point in the future.

IsItThatTimeAlready131 · 13/04/2018 14:54

It stinks, OP.

I remember years ago, when I was a child, my dad was supposed to pay 5p a week for 2 of us (so 10p between us). My mum never saw it and nothing was done to get him to pay, not even getting him to pay £5 once a year, wasn't worth spending the money to enforce it.

He was also supposed to pick us up every other weekend to stay with him, one of my lasting memories is walking home from the bus stop we'd waited at for him, very disappointed he hadn't come for us. I sometimes wonder if he wonders why he hasn't seen any of my children. Maybe I'll tell him if he ever gets in contact again. (He sent me a Christmas card with his contact details the Christmas after DS1 was born, hoping I'd get in touch, wanting to see his grandchild.)

Me, bitter? Nah!

NukaColaGirl · 13/04/2018 15:21

@somerville YES! Exactly! NRPs forever get to put their wants before their DCs needs like ya know, food and clothes. They should also be charged 50% interest on the debt too.

CMS have spent the last 9 months telling me that if the bailiffs couldn’t get anything (because ex is technically No Fixed Abode but in reality he fucking isn’t!) then they’d look at a criminal case and upto 9 weeks in prison. Turns out that’s a load of bollocks and they never actually do that Angry So he’s basically going to get away with it.

Raven88 · 13/04/2018 15:44

Ive no sympathy for him. I didn't know that is how much you get from someone on benefits. I think a third of his benefits should go to raising his children. I don't understand people who are able to work choosing not to work.

JustLayingOnTheSofa · 13/04/2018 16:02

Shit like this pisses me off no end.

If I only put in what my ex put in....my DS would be hugely neglected every month.

But it's okay for my ex to laugh it up with £££ as disposable for a life whilst I sit here cleaning up shit & sick for pennies??

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