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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To sell my son's PS4?

61 replies

Ps4hell · 13/04/2018 09:33

I have had enough of the bloody thing.

All he wants to do is play on it. I bought it him for his bedroom so he wouldn't be on the one downstairs (I use it for TV, internet etc. Its very rarely used for gaming) but it's turned into a nightmare.

All he wants to do is play on it. He and his brothers argue over it.

I get up for the toilet at 2am and he's on it playing with the volume down.
All he talks about is Fortnite.

I've had enough. He's became a ZOMBIE

So AIBU to sell the PS4 and buy him a bike with the money. Encourage him to get out of the bloody house and allow him a set time each week on the PS4 downstairs?

OP posts:
DianaPrincessOfThemyscira · 13/04/2018 11:59

Just take the controller away or the cable or something Confused FGS it doesn’t have to be this hard!

He’s 13. Go in, tell him he’s got till the end of the match and then put a timer on your phone. Yell up for him to bring the remote when it goes off if you don’t want to get up.

If you sell it and buy a bike he’ll hate you and may not use the bike. Of course he’ll get over it, but this is so easily resolved without going full mental.

IloveJudgeJudy · 13/04/2018 12:01

The mistake was buying him one for his room. Even if you take cables, controllers etc away, the actual PS4 will still be in there when he goes to bed. I think you'll have to put it downstairs and regulate it like that. The gaming machines in our house were always downstairs in the living room. It did mean that sometimes dh and I would watch stuff on the much smaller tv as the big one was used for gaming, but it definitely was a price worth paying.

I also think that some people have much more addictive personalities. DS1 (now 23) would get a new game, play it for hours, then not play for days/weeks. DS2 (19) otoh used to have to be wrenched away from the Xbox/PlayStation (we have/had both). He's the more placid personality, but even when playing minecraft would get more challenging. Even now I can tell if he's been on the PS4 by his mood.

I don't think you should sell the PlayStation. That could cause too big a rift. Put it back downstairs where you will have much more control. Talk to him about his behaviour around it. He may be mature enough to begin to understand. If/when you do talk to him, though, do it in a neutral setting, outside the house and at a time when you're both calm (not if you've just dragged him off the ps 😉). Don't leave this. You really need to get it sorted sooner rather than later which I know you know. Good luck.

ssd · 13/04/2018 12:04

welcome to teenagers op

Tenshidarkangel · 13/04/2018 12:05

www.playstation.com/en-gb/get-help/help-library/my-account/parental-controls/ps4-parental-controls/

This details how to set up parental controls.

manuals.playstation.net/document/gb/ps4/basic/kidsplaytime.html

This sets up how long they can play on a day to day basis. Have a run through on your PS4 so you understand how it works then apply it to his.

Tenshidarkangel · 13/04/2018 12:06

Plus if you do it via PS4 parental controls you don't need to switch off the WIFI :)

PaddyF0dder · 13/04/2018 12:07

So let me get this straight.

You give your kid and TV and a games console in his bedroom, and you’re surprised when this happens?

Not exactly rocket science is it?

Coulddowithanap · 13/04/2018 12:07

Turning off the WiFi won't help.. you can still play the PS4 offline.

I agree with a pp, take the plug out the room over night, the PS4 one is easy to remove.

I was like that as a teenager but all my dad had to do was threaten to cut the plug off our TV and that stopped me staying up half the night!

Bexter801 · 13/04/2018 12:08

I would suspect as soon as you sell it,he'll be using the downstairs one at every opportunity,only causing you more hardship.

PerfectlyDone · 13/04/2018 12:10

Remove it out of his bedroom.

Switch WiFi off over night - stop playing on your phone yourself, it is not good for sleep!

Sell it if you must - I agree, it's not his liver! Grin

Gaming can be an addiction, it activated 'reward' areas in the brain that some people are very susceptible to.

Cath2907 · 13/04/2018 12:11

Remove it for a week and let him know what the boundaries are after that. If he fails to comply THEN sell it. Just make sure he knows what the consequence will be and taking it off him for a week will show you are serious.

Lovesagin · 13/04/2018 12:13

You can't play fortnight offline

K1092902 · 13/04/2018 12:16

Tbh OP if you havent got the willppwer to say no to your child I doubt you would even sell it even if every poster on mumsnet told you to do so.

Remove it from bedroom wheb he goes to bed- if he wants to go on it at a set time then he has to complete his homework and chores first. Simple as that.

Katedotness1963 · 13/04/2018 12:19

I wouldn't sell my child's belongings. I would want them to steal mine and sell them.

Faultymain5 · 13/04/2018 12:20

we haven't sold the console, but we have removed it. Exams, focus, self regulation. He can't self regulate, it had to go.

No Tv's or consoles in my kids rooms. That's our preference.

Anewhope · 13/04/2018 12:25

Can't you take away the controller? He can't play it without that surely. Make him earn it back so he has to have fulfilled certain criteria before being allowed time on it. Such as, homework completed, specific chores done, time outside (dog walk it bike ride or something) blah blah ... Then, if he ticks all those boxes he can have the controller for a few hours each day (he can choose the time dependant on when his friends are on there gaming too).

Lovesagin · 13/04/2018 12:28

I am feeling a bit sorry for this kid and I wonder op if it would help to see it from his pov? There's been a ps4 in the house that he's rarely been allowed to go on. Tbh I'm not surprised he's like a dog with 2 dicks when he gets one in his room and I think it would be really unfair to punish him and his brothers so severely without at least trying to be a lot more forceful than you have been. He's old enough for you to have a frank conversation - honeymoon periods over now son, you have a ps4 that you can use now and I'm really glad you like it and playing with your pals but youre spending way too much time on it, I don't want to get rid of it but you need to give me something now and start turning it off when I say otherwise I'll start removing it for 24 hours at a time until you either show me you have listened or if you can't, then it will be sold and I'll buy you something else.

Its not easy but you have to start ignoring the pleas otherwise it will just be something else. Tackle the actual issue not the superficial things around it.

ICantCopeAnymore · 13/04/2018 12:30

This is not about the Ps4, its about your lack of parenting.

Also, I've never, ever heard of anyone using a Ps4 for your reasons. You bought an expensive gaming console to use for something a Chromecast and a phone can do for £15? How utterly bizarre.

WhiteCoyote · 13/04/2018 12:40

I’d try regulating when he plays op, then if it doesn’t improve his mood after a month I’d sell it.
Kids don’t NEED a console and it won’t traumatise him for life, neither is it some sort of life right for them to have one.

I would, however, lead by example by reading instead of using the WiFi to get yourself to sleep at night. They take parental examples to heart and it’ll breed resentment if you adopt a “do as I say not as I do” attitude.

Coulddowithanap · 13/04/2018 12:48

'You can't play fortnight offline'

I didn't know that. But surely it's a gaming addiction, if he can't play on the online game then he may opt for another game.

Lovesagin · 13/04/2018 12:53

I can't imagine there are many ps4 games, if any in ops home as she says the kids are rarely allowed to use it. That WOULD be very shit (and cruel imo)

Besides, that's what parental controls are for. Or keep the games in ops bedroom. Easy enough.

Shizzlestix · 13/04/2018 12:57

Lock up the pads at night, turn off the WiFi. Sounds
Ike you’re addicted too. Reading is better for getting you off to sleep. Set an example.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 13/04/2018 13:01

Browsing the internet at night will not help you get to sleep - it will make things worse. I'm sure I have seen reports of research that shows that the blue light emitted by screens actually affects our brainwaves, in ways that will make it much harder to go to sleep.

Honestly, I'd turn the WiFi off at night - it might make things a bit harder for you, for a while, but you could read a book - but if it weaned him off the PS4, wouldn't it be worth it?

hettie · 13/04/2018 13:04

Lots of routers offer the option to set time limits for each device. If you'd doesn't get one that does and time the PS4 in out to whatever you want

NotMeNoNo · 13/04/2018 13:14

Fortnite is just a craze at the moment, I really hope it will go the way of Dabbing, bottle flipping and fidget spinners.

I have one DS who would be on it 24/7 if allowed. If you have a Microsoft account you can then add the child to your "family" and set time limits- in the holidays he has two 3 hour sessions a day. It works on Xbox anyway - maybe something similar on the PS4?

The "time limits" are a massive cause of arguments (of course none other of his 264 friends have them) but they seem to be watertight. But yes he is now fixated on them and if we are out of the house will be fussing to get back for his "slot" and get every single minute.

It's really tricky, the game pulls them in and they can't just save and quit because each "battle" is in real time.

purpleorchidwhite · 13/04/2018 13:18

We had similar issues in our house, difficult with four teens all with different needs.

If you can afford it, our solution was google WiFi. This comes with home mesh WiFi router, we got a set of 5, one for each room but this is a bit overkill.

This clever bit of kit allows the parent to enter each devices IP address on the app.

Each device can be individually turned off and on and programmed timing.

This means I have complete internet control over every single device in the house. I can see who is accessing the internet on my app, and I can turn off the internet for individual devices including TVs.

It's stopped arguments dead.

The main devices stop at midnight (PS4 and all TVs)
Younger teenagers individual devices turn off earlier. My iPhone is on all night.

It's really helped. But as PP says PS4 can be used off line, it's not as popular though, as they like to be live with players from around the world.