To think ex dp should stick to the days he has dd

[bossmumma]

Every weekend ex picks dd(3) up Saturday afternoon till Monday. I’m self employed so Throughout that weekend I’m working, I’ve just got a text asking if he could pick dd up Sunday till Monday. Aibu to be pissed off about this? I work from home and unless dd is at nursery twice a week I can get bugger all done! I completely rely on my wage and the more I work the money I earn. I’m having to stay up till sometimes 4 am getting work done then having to entertain dd during the day. I feel so stressed out I want to cry 😩

So this is for this weekend?!? He needs to learn to think like a parent but it's not your job to teach him

I would text back and say no not possible, good luck organising child care for Saturday.

You are not his child carer, it is up to him to organise child care for his time just as you do for yours. The sooner he realises that the better.

No harm in being flexible if you get lots of notice and it is for a special occasion eg wedding but it just sounds like he wants to go out on the piss.

Thank you. I’ve just text that back. He knows my situation too which annoys me even more. He’s saying he has to work apparently, but so do I

Good for you.

Conveniently forgotten that you work during the week and pay for childcare which he pays nothing has he!!

Hope you get lots done this weekend

So he pays for childcare during his contact with her, tough.

Going to go against the grain here.... if he's simply asked you on the off chance that something important has come up (in his case work) and he just wanted to ensure you couldn't have DD before he arranged childcare, I think this is fair enough. No harm in asking and you can always say no.

If he's demanding however or it's already been made very clear that you are busy then I think it is very cheeky and there's nothing stopping him from getting a babysitter or sorting childcare.

I don't know what his job is so can't possibly comment on whether it's unreasonable that he's arranged to work fairly short notice.

At the end of the day, if you say no there's not much he can do about it! Just a shame you're left to worry about what will happen with DD at the weekend!

YANBU.

I was going to say the same as TinyTIno - I don't see any reason why he can't ask.
Of course you can say 'No, sorry, that doesn't work for me', but being grown up enough to build in some flexibility - or at least the "permission" to ask if you can make a change now and then - will benefit you both over the years.
I have friends who spit when the dc were young, and the one partner's rigidity has just been ridiculous over the years - not benefiting the dc at all

You are entitled to say no as it is late notice.
He should plan ahead.
However that said, he has them on his own every weekend and should be able to have the odd weekend day to himself. The fact you are busy with work is not his problem.

I agree with the slightly more temperate responses. If it’s a one off, he can ask- you don’t have to agree. I’d rather be asked first, than have the other parent arrange childcare with someone which may be unnecessary. You’ve said no, and now it’s up to him.