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AIBU?

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Original poster

What happened earlier. Why are people so aggressive?

29 replies

PrettyLittIeThing · 12/04/2018 22:35

I was at the fair today. Dd was in a play house type thing, sort of like a soft play area with netting around it. No one else was there just me and my kids. It's a drizzly day here and the fair was pretty empty anyway. After about 5 minutes of being on there a woman a man and their kids come over. She puts the kids on and about 5 minutes after she storms over to me and says "is that your kid on there" I said yes, and she said "well your kids just knocked mine over" I tried to explain she has autism and I'm sure It was an accident, more to say it wasn't intentional, I hadn't even finished my sentence and she jumped in and shouted "oh so autism is an excuse then!! "Oi mark (or whatever her partners name was I don't remember) she's saying autism is an excuse to act like that, well it isn't a fing excuse" at this point I said that I wasn't excusing it merely trying to explain that she's not really aware of her surroundings and although she is 7 she is more on the level of a 2/3 year old. She starts shouting (this is all very aggresive btw) that she has autism and it's not an excuse and how she doesn't act like that, and she's sick of people using it as an excuse. She clearly wanted a fight so I put my hand up as a stopping gesture when she said "oh hand in the face nice, who are you vicky pollar" she called me fat and ugly and it should be me in the play house as a circus act because I'm fat and ugly. I moved away from her and told my kids to keep away from hers, the woman's son then started throwing balls at my other child so I couldn't help but point out to her that her kids clearly aren't perfect, At this point the fair ground woman came over and I mentioned it to her, she told me she doesn't care (not that I was expecting much but I was abit Confused) aibu to ask why people act like this? It was so much aggression she really wanted to fight me and her partner kept going "oi" and "watch it" when I tried to defend myself. Personally it wouldn't even have occurred to me to approach a parent because their child accidentally knocked mine once (the child wasn't crying) it's a soft play and kids are running around and accidents happen.

OP posts:
Homemenu1 · 12/04/2018 22:43

I think people are so aware of their rights, and we can have become a very selfish society to strangers.

iloveruby · 12/04/2018 22:45

Sorry this happened to you OP - I don't know why people are so aggressive but often it is down to a lack of power / control in their own lives . Not that this excuses their behaviour, of course but might explain why the response was so out of proportion.

Original poster
PrettyLittIeThing · 13/04/2018 00:23

Thanks for the comments, it's really knocked my confidence tbh as in quite shy and non confrontational anyway and now I don't want to take my kids out again for the rest of the school holidays which I realise sounds unfair.

OP posts:
Shizzlestix · 13/04/2018 00:26

Don’t let one nasty fool put you off, that’s a bit OTT! I know it’s not fair, but I would have moved away entirely from such an aggressive pain in the arse.

SaltyPeanut · 13/04/2018 00:34

Please try to forget it and move on. People like her are looking for a fight all day every day. You just happened to be in front of her this time.

She is just a random arsehole, she has no power, over you nor anyone else. That's probably why she's like that. She actually sounds quite the embarrassment, to be pitied really.

BlondeB83 · 13/04/2018 00:34

She sounds like a complete nut job! Try not to let it bother you. Flowers

eggcellent · 13/04/2018 00:41

It's very very difficult, but just try to feel sympathy for her. She's clearly a miserable fuck with a lot of pent up anger for whatever reason, and will probably get a few batterings going around like that! Sorry this happened to you.

Ski40 · 13/04/2018 00:47

Eeew what a common little trollop, sorry you had to suffer this sort of abuse from a stranger. I hate confrontantion too so I would have probably been in tears at such attack. But don't let it get to you. Some people just can't help being crass. But the majority of people are nice. Don't give her headspace. Hugs xx😙💖🏵

Ski40 · 13/04/2018 00:48
  • confrontation lol. Sorry.
Rory786 · 13/04/2018 00:49

sorry this happened to you OP, sending a virtual hug your way.

Change9944 · 13/04/2018 00:51

Unbelievable isn't it

WorraLiberty · 13/04/2018 00:54

Some people are just dicks

You have to feel sorry for her DC though, if that's the example the parents are setting.

elefunk · 13/04/2018 01:05

I'm sorry you had to deal with that, please attempt to not let it get to you (hard I know 🙁)
People who have happy lives don't behave this way. It's not much, but take some solace in knowing she's miserable.

or there's always voodoo 😏

Original poster
PrettyLittIeThing · 13/04/2018 01:12

Thanks I feel abit better. Just felt abit "ganged up on" as sad as that sounds, I always seem to think of good come backs after the situation, I tried to allow my kids to continue to play as I had paid for it and didn't really want to let them intimidate me but I think next time I will just leave. (Though I know it would have been a pain trying to get dd off before her time was up)

OP posts:
Lukesflannelshirt · 13/04/2018 01:14

I didn’t even know Vicky Pollard was still relevant... perhaps she only owns a vhs player, and isn’t trusted with a DVD player by her anger management counsellor?

QuackPorridgeBacon · 13/04/2018 01:15

What an awful person. There is just no need for rudeness like that. Try to forget it knowing you did nothing wrong, try not to get worked up about people like this. I’ll admit though I have anxiety and would be worrying myself silly if this happened to me. But rationally, you’ve done nothing wrong and she seems miserably sad.

Lukesflannelshirt · 13/04/2018 01:16

There won’t be a next time, don’t let it worry you.
She’s a bitch, and with that behaviour, she will be dragged into school due to her kids bullying antics most days. Karma will bite!

ShamelesslyPlacemarking · 13/04/2018 01:24

Her behaviour was totally out of line, but I do hope your response to "Your child has just knocked mine over" started with "Oh dear, I'm so sorry, is your little one all right?" rather than "Oh dear, the thing is, she has autism, so she really can't help it."

Blanikbalm · 13/04/2018 01:26

Next time this happens (and it will) get your phone out, record them, plaster it all over social media.

I wouldn't hesitate.

Hope you're ok OP.

Belphegor · 13/04/2018 01:38

Just remember most people you interact with are not like this. Unfortunately, people who are like this tend to make their presence known.

Hope you're feeling okay now.

Original poster
PrettyLittIeThing · 13/04/2018 01:38

I actually was abit taken back tbh as she stormed over with a face like thunder, I could have worded it differently I agree but it was abit of a shock as like I said I wouldn't even have mentioned it to another parent (as a one off, obviously different if the child kept doing it I would tend to think it wasn't an accident then.) but like I said I hadn't even finished my sentence I first wanted to explain she wouldn't have done it on purpose (I know dd and she isn't aggressive in any way.) the woman looked to me like she wanted trouble simply by the way she approached me, I'm now wondering if she just wanted the area to herself and for us to leave because I found her behaviour ott.

OP posts:
SerPants · 13/04/2018 01:53

I've noticed this kind of thing as well. Some people are very good at portraying themselves as victims whilst actually being aggressors.

They can be very vocal about it. It's part of their act. To try and shove you into acquiescing because nobody normal wants that public display of accusation.

I know it's easier said than done, but try not to dwell on it. You were unlucky enough to encounter some manipulative people, it's not your fault.

ShamelesslyPlacemarking · 13/04/2018 02:10

I'm now wondering if she just wanted the area to herself and for us to leave because I found her behaviour ott.

Some people just overreact. I don’t think it’s worth ascribing an ulterior/secondary motive. She probably was upset that her kid got knocked over (maybe it wouldn’t bother you, but honestly, I’d be irritated if my kid got bowled in a soft play but a child who looked old enough to know better) and is the aggro sort rather than the sort who’ll come up and ask somewhat icily that you keep a closer eye on your child.

If it had been me, I wouldn’t have been super-impressed if your first reaction was to excuse your child rather than apologize, but I wouldn’t have escalated the situation. However if another parent approached me upset that my child had knocked theirs over, even if I felt it was 100 percent an accident, my response would be to call my child over to apologize and remind them to take more care, rather than wave it off with an excuse. That is just common courtesy.

Original poster
PrettyLittIeThing · 13/04/2018 02:14

That's nice but dd is non verbal so calling her over to apologise wouldn't have worked. However the woman did get my back up when she started screaming to her partner so I didn't feel like apologising after that myself personally.

OP posts:
myshinynewusername · 13/04/2018 02:21

Don't let her spoil your plans for the rest of the holidays.

Just remember that your confidence has only been temporarily knocked, but she will be a cunt forever.

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