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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To go for an interview even when I can't accept the job

59 replies

pipnchops · 12/04/2018 19:55

I have an interview next week for a part time job, plan was DH would go down to part time in his job and be with our DCs (3 and 1) on the days when I work, if I got the job. He's just found out that his work won't let him go part time. My dilemma is do I still go for the interview next week even though I know I can't take the job. I've been a SAHM since DC1 was born so I'm curious to see if I even get the job. Also I'm looking forward to the interview experience and an afternoon of being an adult (how sad is that?!). But is it really bad form to waste the company's time? It's a large local employer I'd love to work for one day so I don't want to burn bridges. It's not my dream job but it's a good job.

OP posts:

FASH84 · 12/04/2018 21:17

It's excellent. practice and a good learning opportunity, there's no guarantee you'd get it anyway. If you do they won't tell you straight away and you can just apologise and day you've been offered something else. In a lot of professions it's common to interview to see if you'd want to work for the organisation you are never obliged to accept. My organisation encourage internal applicants to apply beyond their capabilities to develop from the experience, think of all the applicants companies never even bother cashing back, and you never know if you go and feel passionately about the role you might reconsider your childcare options

TheCrystalChandelier · 12/04/2018 21:18

If you cancel at interview stage it’s unlikely they would remember you in the future. If they offer you the job and you turn it down they will very likely remember you and you wouldn’t even be offered an interview in the future.

I went through this in a way when I was looking to go back to work when DC were little except it was back to my original job in the public sector where I’d been on a career break. I looked into going back and they actually offered me my original job back as the person doing it had recently had to retire on medical grounds. I did have some childcare lined up with a local nursery but then they offered me different hours to the ones which would have suited my childcare and my h didn’t work locally so it wouldn’t have worked as a solution. I was absolutely honest with them and I then officially resigned from the company as I felt I had wasted their time. As it happened, the local nursery closed just two months later and as I didn’t drive this completely obliterated my ability to have childcare so would have meant I’d have had to let them down at the very last minute.

OlennasWimple · 12/04/2018 21:19

I feel for the person who might be brilliant and really want the job but didn’t get an interview.

TBH it's too late for them now anyway. I doubt very much that the company will phone up the person who just missed the interview cut (if there is anyone), and invite them to an interview tomorrow. Or even on a later date, given the hassle of convening an interview panel. I suspect that the interviews tomorrow will proceed as planned but they will have a gap in the slot where OP would have been, if she decides not to attend.

EmmaC78 · 12/04/2018 21:19

I would not go. I interview people a lot as part of my role and recruitment is frustrating enough without time wasters.

ilovesooty · 12/04/2018 21:19

If you aren't going to accept the offer if it comes don't mess around and waste the time of a potential employer or candidates who are serious about looking for work.

PuppyMonkey · 12/04/2018 21:21

Yep, what Smiley said. A few years ago when I was desperately looking for a job after being made redundant, I couldn’t believe how hard it was even to get an interview. Though I was well qualified for all the roles I went for. Got turned down more times than I can remember now and it was soul destroying.

The thought of other people just turning up to see how they get on, having an afternoon out etc when they have no intention of taking up the job makes me knowing someone absolutely ideal might miss out on even being shortlisted because you took their place.

Firenight · 12/04/2018 21:22

If you have no intention of taking the job don’t waste their time. Recruiting takes way too much time and it drives me bonkers when applicants are just messing around.

ilovesooty · 12/04/2018 21:23

Recruitment costs both time and money.

Original poster

pipnchops · 12/04/2018 21:26

Can I just reiterate that I had every intention of accepting this job if offered it, I have been very excited about it and it looked very likely that my DH could work part time until TODAY so give me a break making me feel awful. Really appreciate some of these more thoughtful answers though but I'm getting very confused!

OP posts:

Original poster

pipnchops · 12/04/2018 21:28

Also my comment in my first post about having an adult afternoon was said tongue in cheek, sorry if that didn't come across.

OP posts:

edwinbear · 12/04/2018 21:28

How many days a week would you need childcare, how does your DH feel about paid childcare? Are you quite certain it won't work for you as a family?

Original poster

pipnchops · 12/04/2018 21:31

I'd need childcare one day a week. DH feels same way as me about it, would rather not if we don't have to, but he'd support me if I decided to go for it.

OP posts:

Original poster

pipnchops · 12/04/2018 21:32

Not curtain it won't work. Just scared. And confused!

OP posts:

Original poster

pipnchops · 12/04/2018 21:32

Curtain = certain!!

OP posts:

EmmaC78 · 12/04/2018 21:34

If you would only need childcare one day a week then I would go for it.

mishfish · 12/04/2018 21:35

OP why don’t you go to the interview and get a feel for the company (I’ve gone to interviews and realised the company is NOT what I want to work for, and some that’s lit a fire in my belly with excitement). If you get excited at the interview look around a few childcare settings and get a feel for them- you might be pleasantly surprised and see what you think? Have a look at a couple of nurseries, a couple of childminders and just see how you feel. Children are very adaptable. My eldest daughter was horribly clingy but after a week at her nursery she adores it.

I would rather see what it’s all about and make a more informed decision rather than wonder ‘what if?’

Notevilstepmother · 12/04/2018 21:37

Childcare one day a week shouldn’t be a dealbreaker. It’s good for your children to get used to different people. It will be easier for them (and you) when they start school if they go. It’s only one day, they will have the other days with you or their dad.

Go for it. Good luck.

OlennasWimple · 12/04/2018 21:38

Don't make a snap decision about child care without having looked into it first. Would your 3yo get a free place? Certainly a partially funded place.

NapQueen · 12/04/2018 21:40

Childcare providers are only strangers for the first fortnight.

Pikehau · 12/04/2018 21:40

Do you mean you would need childcare only one day a week if dh stays as is and you take the job?

I think if this is the case you should go to Iv as you sound keen to have returned to work if Dh has got pt.

I think you should think about childcare for one day. Your 3 year old will love it.

If you think the job will be good for YOU then one day childcare will have NO negative impact on your Dc. (I have 3 all of which will have been in childcare much more than one day)

Original poster

pipnchops · 12/04/2018 21:46

3 year old, she already does 15hrs a week at our local pre school and has settled in great, she loves it, but it's only school hours and term time so I'd have to move her to somewhere different on the day both me and DH work as we'd work 9-5 all year. I would hate leaving my 1 year old as she's never been looked after by anyone but me or DH.

OP posts:

nokidshere · 12/04/2018 21:47

I would go for the interview. It's good experience and you are in two minds about childcare but that could be dealt with and having the interview may help you focus.

There are plenty of employers who hold interviews knowing full well that the job is going to an internal candidate.

Namechange128 · 12/04/2018 21:48

For one day a week absolutely. We had a mix of family and daycare, my eldest never adored childcare but was quite content quickly, but my youngest is very social and I was the one waving goodbye in tears while she tore off to see her friends! How old are your DCs? For a 6 month old I totally get it, for a 2 year old, a day could be very beneficial.
Also worth considering whether potentially being out of the workforce for a long time is a risk for you. I was a SAHM for under 3 years and still found it difficult to get a foot back in the door at a similar level (and ultimately had to go back full time), and this site is full of threads with women who've got 5 year CV gaps but then their partner gets ill, or is made redundant, or runs off with his PA and suddenly they find it impossible to get work. Not saying this would happen to you, but good to have a backup plan!

Allthewaves · 12/04/2018 21:52

Most daycares will do pickups and drop off from preschool setting and hen that cover holidays or get a childminder.

If its one day I'd seriously hink about it. If it's a good job and yoyr excited about it then it's a great way to progress your skills, jeep your hand in and most importantly have yoir own income

Allthewaves · 12/04/2018 21:52

Sorry phone typing

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