Claimed money we were meant to be sharing

[pintsizedblondie]

In January of this year, OH asked if we could switch to BT from Sky, it was cheaper and we weren't using most of the channels from Sky so I agreed. At the time, they were doing a £150 Mastercard as an incentive for switching, I asked him to check Topcashback as I know they usually do good deals for things like utilities and sure enough they were offering £100 for new customers. We agreed that he could have the £150 Mastercard as he wanted new tyres for the car, and I would have the £100 cashback once it tracked.

A few weeks ago, I asked him if he'd had it yet and he said it had tracked but he hadn't received it. I know these things can sometimes take a few weeks so I left it. Fast forward to today and I was going to ask him when I got home. He is currently in bed with a migraine so I had a sneaky look on his Topcashback account (I know, I know). Sure enough not only has he received it but he's also claimed it.

I feel angry that he's claimed it as well as having the Mastercard money when we agreed to share it equally. I know if I ask him he will tell me it hasn't gone into his account yet but I don't know how to tell him I know without him finding out I looked on his account. I know I shouldn't have and I don't usually do stuff like that, but I was just curious.

AIBU to expect him to pay me back what is mine and how should I approach this conversation?

When did he claim it? Are we talking a couple of days ago and he may have forgotten, or are we talking weeks (has he lied about it?)
Yanbu to talk to him about it but I wouldn't go in all guns blazing tbh

😯😯😯 what a selfish bastard!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No helpful advice but what a nob

It’s the lies I find disturbing. YANBU but aren’t you worried about what else he has lied about?

You have a choice of continuity pretend you don’t know and see what happens, or confront him.

If you decide to pretend not to know then I’d leave it a couple of days and see if he gives you the money without being asked. It could be lazy rather than dishonest I suppose, if he is too lazy to sort out a bank transfer to you?

Me I’d confront him, but that doesn’t make it a good idea!

What a greedy arse he is not only taking his half of the rewards but your half too thats not on!

Well you just say "has that cashback money arrived yet" and see what he says.

not the question you're asking ... but tyres for the car (I'm assuming shared as you say "the" not "his") is hardly a personal use of money.

Just tell him you know and you are not impressed he lied. He should give it back

You didn’t snoop his diary, it’s topcashback... me and my partner see each other’s all the time! I’d call him out on this one!

Apologies, it is his car (I have my own). That's what he needed to spend his half on.

Could you say you called them and they’ve confirmed it arrived on X date so hand it over - forces him to do the right thing although doesn’t help with the wider issue

Just ask him again where the money is.

Ask first, when he denies it then tell him you know he’s lying.

feel so bad for you! if the DP ever did that to me id be furious!!

I would be fuming!

Am I missing something? £150 to him and £100 to you is not sharing equally.
It looks like he shafted you twice! I'd be fuming. Just tell him you logging in to raise a complaint as it's taken so long for the cash back to arrive and that's when you noticed he already took it.

Hi op, I'd tell him that you're going to get on touch with topcashback as you're worried that the £100 hasn't appeared. If you can call them do so in front of him and just wait for him to crack. When he does, ask him for the money. After that, I recommend that you dump him for the lying and the theft.

'in touch'

What is your £100 going on? £150 on car tyres isn't exactly for him even if it is his car. I'd expect the money to be spent on what was needed, then what was left to split between us to choose what to do with.

He's a greedy bastard. Genuine question though - don't you have your own topcashback account that you use?

Greedy shit. Set up your own topcashback and don't let him into it.

I do have my own but because he organised the BT switchover he did it through his account. I didn't envisage him not giving it to me if I'm honest.

Hi op, did you manage to get the money off him?