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AIBU?

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Can I just not bother anymore?

2 replies

kittycat84 · 12/04/2018 17:39

As not to drip feed,

I don't have much to do with my dad, his choice, I've always been friendly and "pretended everything is fine" you can't miss what you've never had, and can't be doing with any hassle, I use to ring him and his wife every month or so to say hi, then me and my hubby had a house fire and we had to start again, I was so busy I thought actually I'll see if they ever ring me, nope! They didn't offer anything! Didn't speak to me for over 2 years and then when I finally called them it was like, hello, like nothing had happened, then a few years later we tragically lost our first baby late into pregnancy, after I called to tell them, thinking well now he will defo try and make an effort, nope! Nothing ! Didn't hear for 9 months! he didn't ring the week of the funeral or mention it or our baby again! This I can never forgive.

So fast forward to now,

I'm 37 weeks pregnant, told them over whatsapp about a month ago, and then I called about 2 weeks ago, he asked how we were and I said I was feeling unwell and might need to go into hosp as a few little issues just waiting for blood results he didn't ask what they were, I've heard nothing since, not even a text message , I'm 30, I don't need them, they actually have never caused me any happiness, I don't want to share my baby news with them when she arrives, so I have too? They know the due date, and I don't want to pretend either that I'm happy for them to know , I'm a big girl , self made, (had no choice lol) and I realise they don't actually care, but why do I feel like I have to be polite to them, they've never done anything for me .

OP posts:
sirlee66 · 12/04/2018 17:47

I could have written this post myself, OP!

Focus on you and your family. The way I see it is, I'll never be rude, I'll never be mean but they know my phone number and where I live so the ball is in their court.

He's the parent. If he wants to make an effort, he can.

kittycat84 · 12/04/2018 18:07

Thanks, I just don't want them to ruin my happy baby time, as we have waited such a long time for this, but then if I don't tell them I'll get it thrown back at me in a few years and it will get twisted , I've had to work really hard putting myself back together after our baby, my husband is amazing and I've a few great friends,
They only seem to want to know if there is happy news anything bad and they don't want to know, my husband also had a cancer scare a few years ago, and they just don't want to know ! It's weird!! They never send me birthday presents or call, send a fish hamper at Xmas, tho no call, ( if they ever called I'd tell them I don't even eat fish) lol

OP posts:
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