To want to know where teenage DS is?

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Have NC for this one...

DS is15 ( Yr 11). 16 in summer. He declared last night that he is going to stay with another boy in his year at school on Friday night. I said that was fine, but that I would need the address and phone number of his friend's parents. Not that I necessarily want to contact them (though would reserve the right to), but just in case.

Context: Said classmate lives 200 miles from us. DS has been at boarding school 250 miles away since he was 13. Competent traveller (journey to school involves three changes of train and crossing London; he has been doing this alone since he was 14). He is sometimes quite mature, and other times a complete numpty. He also has a somewhat elastic relationship with the truth (though never, yet, about anything important - or not to my knowledge, at any rate).

He says I am being ridiculous to want the parents' details, and that he will be able to leave home in a couple of months' time (though I did point out that being independent at 16 would very decidedly mean that, and would not involve asking your mother for money for train fares to stay with your pals).

AIBU to insist? Quite happy to be told so if I am. He is my oldest, so this is a new one for me...

I also have a year 11 and yes I would totally want to know where she was spending the night. In the circumstances you describe, I think I would also give the parents a quick ring and make sure they were happy with the arrangements ... and also that the boys genuinely were staying at the address provided.

I do trust my daughter. But I don't trust all her friends and sometimes teenagers do stupid things.

I also would never dream of staying away overnight without letting my husband know where I was. So it's not just a parent/child thing - it's a basic personal safety thing.

So the friend is 200 miles from you or from school? Is your son going from school or home?
Actually I would just say no. At 15 he isn't old enough to tell you what he's doing, he should be asking you if it's ok.
My tactic when mine were that age was, if he had asked nicely I would have asked for all the facts and then said I would think about it. Refusal to give the facts would forfeit the whole thing.
Beware of giving in too easily as you can set a precedent which they will exploit later

Thank you, all. I am glad to hear that I am generally not BU. As a couple of posters have said, the boarding element is an added dimension. If he were at school locally, I'd have at least a vague idea of who his friends were and where they live etc.

As it happens, the plan has fallen through because he couldn't organise the proverbial in the proverbial, and said friend is now going to stay with his father instead.

To answer other questions, though, the friend lives pretty near school (hence the distances involved). DS couldn't give me the address because his friend didn't reply to whatever message he sent him until just now, when he said he couldn't do it at all. However, this is undoubtedly one that will rear its head again, so I will keep all these responses in mind. Thanks!

I think that's one of the problems with boarding school.

It creates a distance between parent and offspring, the relationship will suffer.

To be expected. Teenagers need a constant light touch to keep them in the right direction.
In fact I think they need our guidance more at this age than when younger.

However, this is undoubtedly one that will rear its head again
Yes countless times I have been presented with a proposed outing/ adventure of some kind, asked the questions, agonised over whether to allow it (I tried to say yes if possible) only for it to dissolve because teenage boys are incapable of organising anything.