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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feed my kids home cooked meals?

28 replies

CollyWombles · 11/04/2018 22:19

Obviously I'm not, but ask my children and they would say I am unreasonable!

It's my own fault, money has been tight since Christmas and frozen bags of things like fish fingers and chicken nuggets are cheap as chips. But money is improving now and I am meal planning again. Tuesday night I made sticky BBQ chicken wings with sweet corn rice, tonight I made sweet and sour meatballs with peppers and spaghetti. You would honestly think I was trying to poison the DC! They are 13, nearly 12, 9 and 8. Eldest is Asperger's and always been fussy, youngest is autistic and relatively fussy.

I want them all to eat the same meal as cooking four different ones would cost more and honestly they would be happier if I went back to feeding them the frozen stuff again.

DH says to stick it out and they will get used to it, it's hard though to see them playing with a grain of rice for ages and the sullen faces!

Wibu to just plow on with the home cooked meals?

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 11/04/2018 22:21

Of COURSE continue with the meals. If they are hungry, they will eat. Don't allow them to call the shots.

Sunbeam18 · 11/04/2018 22:25

Can I get those recipes? They sound seriously yummy!

AnxiousPeg · 11/04/2018 22:27

I'm in the same boat OP. I've decided to do what you're doing - just plough on.

Mine are a bit younger. It's the older one who's really fussy. But I'm done with trying to be inventive to accommodate weird fussiness. I'm now meal-planning a reasonable range of sensible home-cooked meals and that is IT!! No snacks of any sort until they fall into line.

I can't see any other way.

Passmethecrisps · 11/04/2018 22:29

In our house the rule is that food can be left but there must not be rudeness (no saying yuck, eye rolling or similar) or fuss made. The only alternative allowed is toast.

I don’t like food becoming a battle but you are doing the best for them.

Whatshallidonowpeople · 11/04/2018 22:29

Yabu if you think processed food is cheaper than home cooked and fed your family frozen nuggets and the like for anything other than a meal or 2

Riversleep · 11/04/2018 22:30

Its really soul destroying when they do that! Sucks all the joy out of cooking! I told my DS1 that if he says 'do I like this?' again when I put a meal in front of him he can go and get himself a slice of bread and have that for his dinner!

Gilead · 11/04/2018 22:35

Some autistic folk really can't (and won't) eat some things. It's not just about taste, but texture too. Perhaps start off with small amounts of new things to try alongside what they're used to.

OP posts:
19lottie82 · 11/04/2018 22:40

“Yabu if you think processed food is cheaper than home cooked and fed your family frozen nuggets and the like for anything other than a meal or 2“

Get off your high horse. OP acknowledges it wasn’t great but she was skint.

Also

Pack of fish fingers £1
Bag of frozen chips £1
Large tin of sweet corn ect £1

This would feed 4 kids

Could you feed 4 kids (something that they would eat) cooking from scratch for £3? bar pasta and some kind of sauce, which would get very old, very quickly.

Original poster
CollyWombles · 11/04/2018 22:40

Giled, I know and I purposely avoid the things I know my 2 SN DC don't eat, such as melted cheese, onions etc.

My eldest DC has always maintained she doesn't like melted cheese. Then I found out she was happily eating pizza with melted cheese at a friend's sleep over but not pizza at home!

It is hard as SN definitely plays a huge part of food fussiness, but sometimes I think they've also worked out I will give them something they would rather have.

OP posts:
BMW6 · 11/04/2018 22:44

Stick with it OP. I think you are spot on with your suspicions that they are manipulating you........

CardinalCat · 11/04/2018 22:53

You have two children with SEN, for whom change might be scary or unsettling. Even children who present as neuro-typical don't like sudden change! I think you need to mix it up a bit (with a combo of the old and the new) and be prepared for some heel-digging before home cooked becomes the new norm.

Sunbeam18 · 11/04/2018 23:08

Thanks so much for recipes!

Original poster
CollyWombles · 11/04/2018 23:35

Yes, that is a better idea. A couple of nights of what they were eating and a couple of nights of new. I can make homemade fish fingers and chicken nuggets anyways, I did last year and they enjoyed them. I'm probably getting a little carried away trying to make up for a few months of not great dinners.

OP posts:
Gilead · 11/04/2018 23:45

Colly, that happened to us a few years ago, DS wouldn't eat anything with mince then found out that he couldn't get enough of a friends Shepherds Pie when he went for tea! If it's any consolation, mine are all adults now and the menu has increased considerably!

Waddlelikeapenguin · 11/04/2018 23:52

I would mix in home versions of the things they miss - so do your own chicken in breadcrumbs with say HM roast potatoes rather than bought nuggets & chips. Mine get emergency grey freezer food if there is a disaster or that time i made that truely disgusting ginger chicken rice stuff & that's the night they thank me for cooking such a lovely dinner Hmm

BackforGood · 12/04/2018 00:05

What CardinalCat said,

LemonysSnicket · 12/04/2018 00:06

That sounds lovely...I buy massive bags of frozen fish and pork and chicken and cook that with masses of frozen veg and rice/potatoes and marinades and you’d think I served DP cordon Bleu!
They’ll miss it as soon as they go to uni/leave home.

Pythonesque · 12/04/2018 00:09

What about some of the food being in a communal pick-your-own bowl? Would that work for them? I'm thinking pieces of steamed veg or salad or suchlike. Work out what would work for you, and perhaps aim to have the same things always on the table, then your children could get used to it being there and it might make them more comfortable to just try some.

Good luck with your new resolutions, and I hope you can find cost-effective combinations that suit your family and their needs.

LemonysSnicket · 12/04/2018 00:25

Iceland do chicken nuggets where the chicken is mixed with corn or peas ;) sneaky

OliviaStabler · 12/04/2018 00:41

OP, it is hard as a parent when your kids don't like what is on offer. But looking back at my own childhood, I learnt a huge lesson from not always having what I wanted. We didn't have money and I wanted things my parents could not afford that other kids ate.

If your kids don't eat what is on offer, they go hungry. Lots of good lessons learnt as hard as it is to see.

dandelion102017 · 13/04/2018 12:11

I'm with you! I'm doing it too, meal plans the lot. Don't like it then don't eat it but coz i'm budgeting there's only things like toast ect on offer if not. son has surprisingly ( has always claimed not to like certain things) loved it and even helped out on the very odd occasion. the 2 ingredient pizza dough is BRILLIANT!!!! Flour and greek youghurt! can use the mix to make naan breads too! x

dandelion102017 · 13/04/2018 12:15

*yoghurt

Jaxtellerswife · 13/04/2018 12:15

I made a full roast on Sunday. My 3 year old cried his eyes out and begged for 'proper food'
When asked, he meant a hotdog from the microwave ConfusedGrin

MrsMollyMooMoo · 13/04/2018 12:15

My son has autism and if I changed suddenly what he had for dinner then he would refuse it. He really would starve as he couldn't eat it. It's a texture thing.

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