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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed off at DH?

55 replies

Mothergothic · 11/04/2018 21:48

So me and my husband have a baby and I've been very sensitive to babies on TV and film (crying, scenes of peril and what not).
I've mentioned this loads of times, he'll he's even see me cry at a number of things and tonight was the 2nd time he's shown me a film that has children killed and babies in bad scenes.
Background, we are into horror films so it's a bit a given that some will have scenes like that but I'm a annoyed that he knows I can't handle that at the moment. And when the film ended I said it was good but and then went into saying how uncomfortable I was watching a good chunk of the film. No sorry just "oh I forgot!"
AIBU to be angry?!

OP posts:
Bagsalot · 11/04/2018 21:51

Yes. You could have stopped the film turned it off when you realised the type of scenes

Snausage · 11/04/2018 21:54

Why didn't you just stop watching or turn it off??

BlueThesaurusRex · 11/04/2018 21:55

Did he know the film had scenes like that in it?

QuiteLikely5 · 11/04/2018 21:56

Yabu

Winosaurus · 11/04/2018 21:56
Biscuit
RafikiIsTheBest · 11/04/2018 21:57

You could of left the room whilst it was on or asked to skip this bit or said "I'm not in the mood for this sort of thing" or anything.
DP know's I don't like certain types of films. If he suggests watching a film I like to know what it's about and if at any point I don't like it when I ask if we can do something else or I go and do something else and just say I don't like it, you watch I'll go do x.
Whilst you're going through this it might be worth giving films a quick google to see if there are any scenes of child peril or something.
You've told DP you were upset after the fact and he's apologised, which would suggest to me that if you said something at the time he would of been accepting and supportive of it and skipped that part or put something else on or watched while you left the room and filled you in on anything relevant for the rest of the film. I sometimes forget that DP doesn't like something and I feel a bit crappy and apologise and expect to be forgiven. Given that it used to be fine I wouldn't take it to heart.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 11/04/2018 21:58

Why didn't you tell him at the time? Or get up and go into another room?

Probably best to change the type of films you usually watch.

Nicknacky · 11/04/2018 21:58

Had he seen the film before to know what scenes were in it?

ScreamingValenta · 11/04/2018 21:59

Why did you sit through the whole film? I can't stand gruesome scenes in films, but if my DH is watching a film that has them, I just go into another room.

Trinity66 · 11/04/2018 21:59

Yabu

Buzzlightyearsbumchin · 11/04/2018 22:00

It's up to you to stop the film, walk out, or just not watch it.

It's really easy to forget stuff like that, especially in the midst of a good film.

And you were still sitting watching it. It would be weird for him to turn it off when you seemed to be into the film.

Pleasebeafleabite · 11/04/2018 22:00

I’d avoid pet semetary if I were you OP

Original poster
Mothergothic · 11/04/2018 22:01

Well it's itd of those things isn't it , you think one scene will be gone and then more comes . :-/

OP posts:
bathildab · 11/04/2018 22:02

I simply do not understand how anyone can watch stuff like that so you both get a YABU from me I'm afraid.

Original poster
Mothergothic · 11/04/2018 22:03

He knew what was in the film, I covered my ears ad closed my eyes when the scenes came on and he said I was being silly (tiny flat) x

OP posts:
Shizzlestix · 11/04/2018 22:04

It’s the 2nd time he’s shown you this f8lm? I think you were silly to watch it given it was a film you knew about. Why didn’t you just say you didn’t want to watch it?

Timeforabiscuit · 11/04/2018 22:04

Completely understand where you're coming from, but you need to make it crystal clear that you dont enjoy these scenes anymore and stop watching - its not up to your dh to police what you view.

10 years on and I still havent gone back to horror films, dh is desperate for me to watch the babadook - not a flipping chance!! its like every emotive fibre of my being set like a trip switch - comedy horror/gore is absolutely fine.

ScreamingValenta · 11/04/2018 22:04

Well it's itd of those things isn't it , you think one scene will be gone and then more comes . :-/

Well, if you didn't know there was more to come, how did you expect your husband to foresee this? If you didn't object after the first scene, what did you expect him to do?

I think you need to take responsibility for this yourself - as a pp has suggested, look for reviews online of any films you're thinking of watching and decide accordingly.

NewSparkle · 11/04/2018 22:05

I hear ya but in the comfort of your own home you should have either left the room or switched it off. No point being miserable then blaming him afterwards.

SilverySurfer · 11/04/2018 22:06
Biscuit
ScreamingValenta · 11/04/2018 22:09

(tiny flat)

If it's literally a one room studio flat, it would have been reasonable to ask him to switch it off and watch the rest when you were out.

Otherwise, you could have gone into your kitchen/bedroom while it finished.

Original poster
Mothergothic · 11/04/2018 22:10

He has seen it before , it's the 2nd film (LIKE this ) he's shown me (having seeb the films previously) knowing I didn't like those scenes. I would've said turn it off but he would've gotten so pissed off with me. I feel stupid now cos I feel annoyed with myself leaving it on... but he knows this is the ONE thing I don't like

OP posts:
NoSquirrels · 11/04/2018 22:13

He doesn't sound nice, OP.

Fwiw, my DH is a huge film geek and couldn't watch films with children in peril for quite a while after our DC were born. And I'd never have made him. So it's not just a "mother" thing. There's no way he's forgotten - twice - that you are sensitive to these things.

He sounds unpleasant.

WorraLiberty · 11/04/2018 22:14

He knew what was in the film, I covered my ears ad closed my eyes when the scenes came on and he said I was being silly (tiny flat) x

Well you were, to be fair.

NoSquirrels · 11/04/2018 22:14

I would've said turn it off but he would've gotten so pissed off with me.

He's sounding more unpleasant now.