As brief a run down as I can give: I'm now 29. At 2.5 my parents split up. It was a turbulent and physically abusive relationship on my dad's part. At the time we were living with my mum and her two sons from previous relationships. When they split my dad took me with him, my mum called the police and they asked her if she thought I'd come to any harm, and she said no, because she thought he'd never hurt me even though he had hurt her (threw her down the stairs when she was pregnant with me for a start) and so she never did anything else to get me back.
There was a custody case initiated by my dad but she didn't turn up. My dad got full custody and I never saw her again until I put myself into care at 15 after many years of physical, emotional and psychological abuse. She had two more children after me, so in total I have 4 siblings but the eldest of us died when he was 17/I was 11. I saw my mum when I went into care by tracking her address down and turning up at her house. She was quite emotionally distant and the first thing she said to me was 'well you don't look like your dad anymore'. There was no happiness, no anything I sort of naively expected being a teenager and having not seen my mum since I was a toddler.
Anyway, as it happened my foster carers went away during my GCSEs at 15 and I had no one to care for me so my mum agreed to. One night I'd stayed out for tea and not told my mum and came home to a cold tea on the side. I didn't really fancy it so I scraped it into the bin as I didn't know what else to do. Bad, I know. Her reaction was absolutely crazy. She told me I was unwanted, that she had a newborn baby and a dead son in the cemetery and didn't want me in her life etc. All with her friend present in the room too. I ran upstairs and cried and my sister played board games with me without saying a word. I then left the next day and stayed with my boyfriends family for the rest of the time.
Ever since then I've had on/off contact with her but about 2 years cut all ties with her as I couldn't stand all the emotional dredging of things and to me she feels like a stranger. My siblings have tried to contact me lots of times and I've blocked them on every social media platform. The last message I got from my sister was her ranting on about wanting to have a sister and not understanding why I didn't want to support her etc.
AIBU to cut off contact? I have done so to protect my mental health really, but I don't know if I'm being selfish and I do feel guilty.
We live about 2 hours away from each other now by the way as I moved away from home.