To Give up on driving?

[Louiseob33]

I passed my test 9 years ago.
Bought a car and drove for 3 weeks then stopped as I was too nervous.
I worried about stalling and getting into gears and I was a nervous wreck.
I’ve booked automatic lesson for next week but now my dad is saying I still won’t be able to drive.
I would love to be able for o drive.
Shall I give up or have a go?

Your dad seems helpful!

Even using a map on your phone (google maps or Apple maps) will tell you which lane to use.

Good luck!

If you can afford to, it would be better to do 2 hours and miss a week, rather than 1 hour a week. I learnt so much faster that way.

Also I use Google maps a lot as my sense of direction is terrible! I literally get lost driving 10 mins down the road 😀

If you have a tricky local roundabout see if you can zoom in on google maps and work out which lane you need to be in for each exit then get up early one Sunday and go do it in every direction as many times as you need until you are comfortable.

I much prefer driving an automatic. I’m
Not a fan of driving, although have been
for nearly 20 years, been driving an auto for about 8 years. I doubt I’ll ever drive a manual again.

Yes satnavs tell you which lane (just make sure you regularly update in case roads have changed). I was such a nervous driver (still am) and it does get easier. Just take it easy, be careful (DH always tells me to assume all other drivers are incompetent arseholes and adjust my driving accordingly - ha!) and if you do stall or whatever don't worry. People might be briefly annoyed but by the time they are 5 minutes down the road it will be completely forgotten!

OP, I didn't drive for a few years after passing my test. I took a few refresher lessons and gradually built up the courage to get out on the road. That was 20 years ago, and I haven't had any accidents since.

I'm not a confident driver, even now, but I'll go wherever I need to go. An automatic is definitely easier - I wouldn't switch back to manual now.

Good luck!

I only drive automatic. Just put it into drive away you go. I was a nervous driver, but automatics allow you to concentrate on the roads, much easier than manual. I also invested in a sat nav so no trying to remember routes.
Start off by driving around your local area and once feeling confident drive a little bit further. Then a bit further etc trust in your ability.

My mum crashed a car shortly after passing her test. 15 or so years later she decided to try again and took lessons for a week. She was determined to get out and about on her own. That determination made her go out and keep trying and quite quickly she became a competent driver of reasonable confidence and that wasn’t even in an automatic. Automatics nowadays are fabulous. I drive extensively and would give up geared cars tomorrow because I just enjoy driving them.

Don’t listen to the naysayers OP. You can do it, you will do it and you’ll never look back.

Go for it.

To be honest, I don't think your Dad's attitude is helpful.

I am not a keen driver and can be nervous at times, but I am fine on my patch. I drove manuals for 27 years before getting an automatic, which I have now had for 4 years.

The automatic is so much easier. Just put it into Drive and go. The only pedals are the accelerator and the brake. You can't really stall it, and with regard to what gear it should be in for the speed you are doing, it does that bit of thinking for you.

I'm not sure I would go back to driving a manual again now.

If you passed your test in a manual, why are you lacking in confidence?

I passed my test in a manual, and just hated driving. All too terrifying.

We got an automatic and I had a few refresher lessons beforehand. Driving an automatic is fantastic, it allows you to concentrate on the important things and I now find driving almost enjoyable!

I switched to an automatic when I passed by test as my mum is disabled and finds automatic is easier so having all automatics in the house made moving them in and around the driveway helped.

So from day one I used an auto, which is over 16 years ago, I did for awhile switch to a manual as my husbands car was nicer and I was commenting for my job, but we then switched to a automatic and I haven't used a manual really since, we do have a manual car, but I don't drive it at all anyway. I never used to be a nervous driver but I can be these days so I just prefer the ease of using an automatic.

You passed your test, you CAN drive, it's just your confidence that is shot. Yes yes, do it, take the lesson in an auto, by the end of the lesson you'll be giddy & most likely wanting to book another!

Of course this is the part where I should be saying it happened to me, but no. I haven't even passed my test! I've failed 5 (in an auto) all on just one different stupid mistake. So that was 5 months ago & I haven't drove since. I just can't face being told I've failed again. DH isn't encouraging me to take another test so it's just falling by the sidelines so to speak. I don't need any more lessons as such, but my confidence is shot now & although I'd mange not driving, there is that little niggle in the back of my mind saying 'what if, what if & you can't give up now'. But it's very expensive & I just haven't the spare cash at the moment. Maybe I'll have another crack at it. You definitely should, you PASSED! Just have a go.

Passed my test 10 years ago first time and was fine at driving, felt perfectly confident etc.... Didn't drive at all for 4 years as didn't have a car and then I worried I wouldn't be able to do it anymore. Took refresher lessons and then still didn't drive. Took refresher lessons again 2 years after that and didn't drive and again after another 2 years but still couldn't get over my driving anxiety. Then we bought an automatic and I stated driving in October. Was no longer worried about stalling etc... which was my main worry. Parking took some time to get used to but I just always left the house early and just stuck to a couple of routes I knew well when I was on my own. The last 3 weeks I've been driving somewhere totally new in a different country and I've been fine having only really been driving for 6 months or so. Definitely give the automatic a go!!

Go for it OP. Once you start driving properly, your confidence will build add you go. I've only just passed my test after putting it off for over ten years, and although I even did my pass plus, I'm still nervous of driving on my own. After 8 weeks, I still only do the school run, my mum's house and my in-laws house. I'm building up to adding in more journeys and getting further out.
The way you describe the roundabout sounds like a notorious one near me. You start in the right lane of about 4, then as you go round you sort of corkscrew your way round following the lane so you end up in the left lane by your exit. I'm not ready to do that one on my own yet!
Good luck OP. Tell yourself you can do it and believe it. I'd recommend refreshing your theory by downloading an app and doing the multiple choice practice tests as they give you the answers after you've had a go.

Automatics are so much easier, you won’t regret it! I drove a manual for years and then moved to the US where there are virtually no (new) manual cars for sale so had no choice but to switch. At the time I thought it was stupid but it’s so much easier and I wouldn’t go back. Especially when you’re stuck in stop/start traffic. Good luck with your lessons, I’m sure you’ll do great

It's normal to be nervous when you haven't driven for ages. I remember passing my test and thinking oh my God as if somebody has actually legally let me drive on my own

It kind of reminded me of when I took my first born home and realised we were left alone in charge of a baby haha!

You soon get into the swing of it and the more you do it the less scary it is.

Have some refresher lessons and you will be fine. Driving really does open up all sorts of possibilities and give you freedom. I was a wreck when I first passed and I drove on my own. Of course you will have still been nervous after only three weeks. But just plan your first few journeys, maybe have a passenger for the first few times and don't be bullied into driving fast (having a green 'P' really does help as it lets everyone else know you are inexperienced). Use your indicators to let everyone know what you are doing and if you are unsure about a roundabout, go in the right-hand lane and go all the way around it first, so you know where you need to pull out to get your exit the next time. Most people are good drivers and will help you out a bit, just let them know what you are going to do by indicating. You will soon be getting in the car without worrying too much.

Have your first refresher lesson to kick you off, then practise at least a couple of minutes each day until it feels normal. If you're nervous, go out really early (say 6.30am) when the roads are emptyish. Start off with just driving around the block and then going home (or you could start smaller if even that is uncomfortable to think about). Once that seems ok, build up from there. It's all about getting your head into a place where driving feels normal.

Automatics are great. I passed in a manual but have only driven automatics for the past 10 years.

Thanks for all your encouragement everyone.
My first lesson is Tuesday and I’m now nervous/excited.
I’ve started saving for a car (trying to think pos)
I’ve downloaded google maps and I’ve been planning my route and lanes etc.

I am (was) absolutely you!!
Didn’t drive for nearly 10 years.
Booked automatic lessons as last chance saloon and never looked back!!

Definitely definitely give it a chance!

Yes on the automatic. Much easier than manual as you can fully focus on where you’re going.

However, I disagree with Google Maps. Download ‘Waze’ also owned by Google. Far superior.

No ! You have done the hard bit !!

Just practice solo and put some nice music on