Can everyone hear in pubs and clubs or is everyone else pretending?

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Am I alone in being the only person who catches about 1/10th of conversation in loud pubs and clubs but just pretends to hear the rest because 1.) everyone else seems to be able to manage it just fine and 2.) you’re just plain sick of shouting “what...what...I can’t hear you?”

I have always been this way, since a teenager. I see people chatting away and I think to myself “there is no way they are having a proper conversation, at least one of them must be just nodding or replying with I CAN’T HEAR YOU.”
They are literally standing on the dance floor, across from each other having a chat and all I think is “NO WAY are you having a deep and meaningful!”

My hearing is fine. I have it checked regularly, most recently in March. I can hear in other busy situations just fine but pubs (not all pubs but certain types, especially at the weekend when they ramp the music up) and clubs are so loud it’s a whole other league and it’s almost as though you aren’t supposed to hear anything other than the music.

Any other people out there who spend their nights out nodding along pretending to be able to listen whilst thinking “surely you’re all pretending too”?

I'm exactly the same. I don't go to them v often, partly for that reason

I can't hear in those situations either. Usually I just shrug as a general response.

No I cannot hear a thing

I'm with you op. I can barely catch the jist of what is being said, yet everyone else seems to hear fine!

I have same issue and discussed it at my last checkup as hearing is also "fine". They said some people just have more trouble with background noise than others, but it's obviously not something important enough or checked on your usual hearing tests. It really annoys me though!

Ha! I always think this! Both myself and my husband struggle massively.

This may not be relevant but you may want to google
‘auditory processing disorder background noise‘.

Same! I also hate having to get super close to people to chat. Give me somewhere to sit and QUIET music and I’m happy

I used to get this problem but my ears were not fine. I have hearing loss in both ears, either hereditary, my DM is now deaf or being an audio typist years ago.

I have no problem with high frequency but face to face in noisy places I struggle. I have a hearing aid but it's impossible to wear it in those type of places, work included.

I’ve assessed my own hearing/had my husband do it (HCPs) and seen specialists no issues pertaining to this situation.

I’m glad other people say they have the same issue too! I didn’t want to say it to my friends incase they though “so she isn’t even listening, she has been pretending all these years?”

I can be listening to someone standing in front of me but can only hear what's going on behind me.

I really, really struggle. But I am in the minority in my friendship group.

Definitely had this in clubs but not pubs. I don’t go to clubs very often though.

I can’t hear. I just do the ‘i Can’t hear you’ signal and smile.

Old man pubs are what you want. Seats, no blaring music and generally no que for the ladies. I have loved them since I was early 20s and converted many a friend.

I love a good old man pub! Alas many of my work colleagues do not, so a work night out involves a restaurant, then a pub that is basically a nightclub and then onto a nightclub.

I’m just nodding and smiling.

Not only can I not hear but I'm very softly spoken so no one can hear me either. I usually end up standing staring into space like a lemon. I hate waking up with the hoarse sore throat after beeing out for the night too.

I went for the hearing test at Boots because I noticed I struggle in groups, eg if I'm at a large table or if there are a lot of people in the pub (thankfully my clubbing days are long past, but I remember not hearing a word ever said or shouted in Ritzys).

Great hearing, apparently .

The audiologist suggested that I might be trying to listen in to every single conversation in the room. Which does make sense actually because I am incredibly nosy.

I am so glad I am not alone in this. I have, on occasion, even resorted to putting my hand behind my ear. My hearing is fine.

Op I'm so grateful you posted this, I really thought it was just me. Maybe I'm just not as good at lip reading as other people seem to be.

Look up "cocktail party effect' - basically most people can pick out a voice even when the background noise is quite a bit louder, but with some hearing loss or with hearing aids, you need the voice to be louder than background.

Pubs know that when music is too loud to speak easily, people drink more. They're called VDEs (vertical drinking establishments) as opposed to nice pubs for enjoying a drink.

I'm so glad it's not just me.

I am like this too. When I was younger and occasionally required to because that was social life I a small town I absolutely hated it. Dreaded it. Either I couldn’t talk to any one and looked an idiot, I pretended to hear and laughed along like an idiot, or I had to get far too close to people to hear them. I could never ever work out how people ended up snogging boys in those situations !

Now I avoid like the plague, meet people in old man pubs or restaurants and try to sit beside people I want to talk to rather than across a table.

I have a friend who sometimes ask me to Hobin inenfo those party boats on the Thames. I had to be honest and tell her there was no way I’d be trapped on a kid boat in a river for four hours.

LOL, YANBU, I've felt this way all my life. I love nights out but dislike going places that are very noisy because people will still insist on trying to have full-scale conversations. Even though my hearing is 100%, I just can't make out what's being said half the time. I find I have to resort to a lot of pretending to have heard the other person when I haven't. I never understand how other people manage it.

I'm the same - usually end up smiling and nodding which seems to please the person talking at the time. Have no idea what they've said! I also struggle to hear my husband when he phones me through the bluetooth thing in the car. Signal is fine - I just can't make out individual words so rely on the 'gist' of the conversation.