To cancel on her?

[Teacuphiccup]

I’m supposed to be going out with an old friend this weekend.
We are going to an event that starts at 11pm and won’t end until 3am, I have work the next day but it’s an easy shift and I don’t drink so I’ll just be tired and I love hanging out with my friend and it should be good fun.
I got in contact with her asking for the plans and it turns out a big group of people are now going and now I’m not so keen to go.

The group of people who are going are lovely and I get on with them but they are all heavy drinkers and it will become a ‘big night’ which isn’t what I wanted. My friend who I was going with is doesn’t drink like me (I’m 60 days sober) but I know she will take drugs if they are available which with the big group of friend they probably will be.

I don’t blame her for inviting them as I know how it works with the big group and it’s difficult to turn them down without it becoming a drama but I now feel like I don’t want to go.

Would I be unreasonable to bail out?

Bail out so fast your arms blur

Bail bail bail!

Congratulations on your 60 days sober! Given the circumstances, I would definitely suggest you cancel. Do you know your friend well enough to talk to her about your sobriety and its importance to you?

Can you take your car (if you have one) and leave when you're ready and leave the group to it? It's a shame to miss something you'll enjoy. But just bail if you think you really won't enjoy it with the group.

Yeah she did a year sober recently and it was her who inspired me to do it.
She’s fallen off the wagon a bit recently and I have a sneaky suspicion that she wants to drink at this even hence the other people coming.

Is bail knowing there are others going and she won't miss out!

Well done on the 60 days!

Bail bail bail

If she's a good friend she'll completely understand. Just say what you've said here, and suggest an alternative day/time/event to meet up instead.

Did you actually have an alcohol problem? If not ‘x days sober’ is a bit of an inappropriate phrase to use.

mightyducks Do actually have being a nobhead problem?
If not ‘do you actually have an alcohol problem’ is a bit of an inappropriate question to use.

MightyDucks why is that relevant ? Tea doesn’t want to drink , nothing unusual with that
I wouldn’t go to be honest . It wouldn’t be the evening I expected when I planned it

Bail. Bail. Bail.

Just make your apologies that you can't make it.

If that's how you feel then definitely explain and bail. I'm sure they'll understand it's not for everyone. If you can stay positive about it and committed to having a good night, it's actually a lot of fun to watch other people (friends) drinking and getting silly. But it's shit if you fee left out or resentful.

Actually, I was wondering same thing as Mighty Ducks. If you’re a recovering alcoholic then it would be in your best interests to cancel..

Bail for sure !

I do have a drinking problem but I didn’t want to mention that in my OP because I don’t want everything to be centred around that.
I’m happy to go to places where people are drinking but not if that’s all they’re doing and that wasn’t what this night was supposed to be.

Spoke to my friend who totally understood and we’ve rearranged to do something else later in the week.