Visiting parent

[littlemisspigg]

My DF visits us for a few weeks every year, so I shift my son out of his room to make it my dad's room. He eats his own sort of food at his own time (different to the rest of the family) so there's a lot I need to do for him, leaving me rather exhausted and short- fused by the end of the day. Then this time around, I was down with a horrendous allergic rash all over my arms and hands and was doing everything with double layer of elbow- length gloves on. He constantly complained of feeling ill himself with cough and cold and didn't help or make it any easier for me. On top of everything, he never even noticed or commented on my rash or swollen puffy face even once. Aibu to feel hurt and upset about this? Then, I needed to run around getting him to the GP, so that he could get medications for his cold, the same medications which I had been suggesting all along anyway, considering I'm a medic myself. In all, I'm feeling undermined, undervalued, washed out and grumpy. I hate having these negative feelings towards my own dad....any advice please?

Cup of tea and some chill time is what you need. Sounds like you're in pain and exhausted. Parents are often annoying as well as amazing. If he's generally lovely I wouldn't do anything.
Hope you're evening gets better

Think you'd feel better after a good nights sleep OP. Having visitors is hard work

I hope he is doing his own cooking, and buying his own food, if he eats differently from the rest of the family. If not, tell him to do so. As in, chicken and chips served at 6 o'clock, if you want anything different you are welcome to buy it and cook it.
Hope you are feeling better soon.

Couldn’t cope with anyone staying a few weeks! (More particularly not a difficult guest).
Why not have him for 3 days about twice a year - spread out much easier, and fairer on your son. Then you might have happier memories of the visits.

Why does he stay so long? I certainly wouldn't move my kids out of their rooms for weeks on end. And he's an adult. If he doesn't eat what you do when you do then he can do his own damn food.

I suppose you right, teaandbiscuits & buntyll....only a few more days left till he flies off....I should just try and stay patient....until next time!

I mean this is the kindest way but please stop being a martyr. Decide in advance how long he is going to stay (fewer weeks than this visit) and tell him you’re finding his visits a bit tiring what with his eating arrangements and in future it would make your life easier if he eats with the family, and eats whatever you are cooking for the family. Lay down a few ground rules now before you come to really resent his visits.

Flies off
Is this a parent who lives abroad? Mine does. Used to aperitifs and eating later with several glasses of wine. Doesn't want to change the habit here. So, I cook her dinner along with ours, then she can reheat it later if she wants to eat later. I leave the salt out so that she can douse my flavourless food in it when she is ready to eat.
She insists that we visit for 3 weeks a year. We've finally managed to reduce it to 9 -10 days. This is better because my Dd doesn't cope well with the 40 degree heat, is bored being away from friends for that long with only old ladies for company (I include myself here!!) etc. My DM is difficult lovely.
She means well, sigh ...