To feel overwhelmingly alone

[stripesandspots10]

Today is My birthday. It's the 1st one I've spent mostly alone. I woke up to my 2 year old DS so he doesn't understand. Went to work for a bit but was so ill so came home. Saw my mum for a couple of hours and sat alone all night just watching t.v. feeling rubbish.
Hardly anyone at work said happy birthday or was grateful for the cakes I brought in.
I'm late 20s is this how it's going to be now I'm a single parent. This loneliness has taken a new low today

Happy birthday Try and be positive. You will make and lose many many friends over the years. It's ok not to have a lot of friends at this moment in time, things will change xx

I met my husband when I was 36. I remember periods of intense loneliness, especially between 27 and 31. I remember once making up stuff that I had done over the weekend to a work colleague, when in fact I hadn't spoken to a soul, nor left my flat. Please hang in there. Life changes all the time and this time will pass. Great things may be just around the corner. And if you're in the Manchester area, I am available for coffee and chat!

Oh liver you've left a tear in my eye! I sometimes make up things especially when my DS is at his dad's. Because I don't do much, or have alot of friends.
People probably think I'm having a great birthday surrounded by people. When in actual fact I'm alone watching tv.
Oh that's a shame I'm more South east, thank you though.

Thanks bel x

Happy birthday. You're not alone, don't worry. Soon you'll be able to chat away with your little man and time to yourself can be a true luxury so try to enjoy it even if it is forced upon you! Lots of people on this site and in RL who wish you a very happy birthday (but jealous of it being on your 20s!)

Im south easty too. Pm me your locale if you want a coffee buddy!

Also south east and happy to meet up for coffee and a chat.

Hugs and happy birthday xx

Happy birthday Stripes! I am sorry you are feeling lonely and down. I remember feeling like that when I became single years ago but it didn't last. I met someone new and also got involved in my local community and now have many friends. When I worked, I would bring in cakes into the office and announce my birthday as colleagues are often a bit rubbish at remembering birthdays. I know it's not always easy but I think the only way to get over loneliness is to go out and make friendships. Involve your family more in your life, join mother toddler groups, go to local community events, take your child to local swimming lessons or something like that, go to soft play centres, local cafe, local library. Another thing I did one day was email to work colleagues, I will be in the pub tonight, see you there if you want to come along. If you are able to get a baby sitter, sort some time out for yourself. I hope this is of some help. Don't feel it will be like this forever. It will change! 😃 xxx

Thanks everyone for your kind words. Now I live alone any find most ocassions hard. I guess I'm not used to it.

Also just wanted to quickly add that people nowadays are using social media to show off their lives. Every time they go out they'll take a hundred pictures and post about it. Yet they don't post pics of the majority of evenings spent indoors. You might feel like an oddball but in reality you're not. Lots of people I know have a very small circle of friends/don't go out a lot at all. It's normal xx

Hang in there stripesandspots10

I remember when I first had my own iMacs I was just so relieved I didn't have any energy for a social life. Then I started to notice that, if I did not plan anything for the weekend I could easily speak to no one all weekend. I started to look for things to do.

It takes a while to find things you really enjoy especially when you already gave your DS but keep your eyes open for possibilities and things will start to appear. At first I went to everything at least once and then started to weed out the ones I didn't enjoy. One that I stuck with and is now my major focus I only found out about because of chatting to people on a group walk that I really didn't want to do.

Give it time and don't force it, just keep your eyes open. Meetup.com can be hit and miss but will have lots of things to try.

All the best.

It was my birthday not long ago and I forced myself to do something
I made sure I invited people out.
Otherwise I would have been doing the same as you.
When my relationship finished I spent a lot of weekends alone and I realised that if I didn’t make the effort nothing would happen.
Can you try and find something that you enjoy that isn’t about your child? And try and make some new friends, a hobby or something. Even if it’s just when your ds is at their dads. Just one tiny thing that’s just yours will help your mental health immeasurably

Happy belated birthday ♥️ I'm sorry you're feeling like this OP. Loneliness is such a terrible thing to experience, but it doesn't last forever.. join some locals clubs/groups, so you can meet new people. Also, you will meet the right person at the right time. They'll wander into your life and take you by surprise. Xx

I do have a hobby I do once a week and honestly I smile so much through it because I love it so much and I feel apart of something. I would have gone last night but was unwell. Like some of you said I need to plan and do things when I don't have my DS.
Also didn't help that the guy ive been talking to didn't wish me happy birthday even though I'd told him it was! I'm sure some man will come along eventually!

I found it better to focus on enjoying the life I was living, rather than hope for someone to come along and make everything better for me. Enjoying my life made finding someone to share it a bonus. My standards were high and I found someone really enhances my life.

I wish the same for you.

I totally feel you. I'm so lonely, generally, that I've kind of got used to it but I've got an operation tomorrow on my womb. My mum is watching my 3 DC's whilst I'm in but I've had to opt for a local rather than GA because she won't have them for long.

I know I'll get home, in pain, have to do all the bedtime shit and then sit on my own in pain. I probably won't see another adult until I start my new job on Monday.

I've just read a great book about loneliness 'Eleanor Oliphant is completely fine' - even though it is a tough read it was uplifting too. The kindness of humans. You aren't alone OP

Happy Birthday. I know how you feel, I have felt the same. I lived alone for 10 years from about 27 years old and at times it was v lonely. No DC for me so I spent all my spare time travelling.

I'm in South East too (Herts). Pm me if you're local x

for you OP and happy birthday for yesterday.

I sympathise with you and others on this thread who are suffering. I’ve had some rubbish birthdays alone, but it’s just one day so nothing in the grand scheme of things though it feels crap right now.

Also wanted to give some words of encouragement. You’re only 29. I’ve somehow reached the grand old age of 43. At the end of my 20s I was miserable...relationship on the rocks, career going nowhere, no confidence or direction. However my 30s were unexpectedly brilliant, and I’m sure yours will be too. That’s when my career took off, finally stopped suffering fools and met a lovely guy, much more confidence etc. There are many good things in front of you and lots to look forward to for you and your lovely DS.

I know that’s not much help when you’re feeling rotten. But my advice is to hunker down with your DS and eat cake, and that it’s ok to feel fed up and that your birthday wasn’t great this year. Just remember that we all have ups and downs, and it sounds to me like you are due an up soon.

Come back and update us when you are 39. I bet you £1 million that your 30s will bring lots of good things...new opportunities, new friends and new love. Hopefully those years will also bring me a ginormous windfall so I can pay off my gambling debt to you!

Good luck!