ADHD - Adult son

[ADHDAdult]

So my 25 year old son is almost certainly ADHD. Just seen an interview with Richard Baker and he could have been talking about my son.

Sadly it's caused a lot of angst in our home, his inability to tidy his room it is a total tip, cant seem to organise anything etc.

He loses bank cards almost weekly, forgets things constantly.

But I've had a light bulb moment and realise why now.

AIBU to ask anyone with experience for coping strategies? Where do we go now, how do we help him?

He's very angry and I'm not sure how he will react! 😔

*bump

No advice - just to say well done for supporting your DS. I'm in my 40s and am currently waiting for an appointment for probably ADHD diagnosis.

I only had my lightbulb moment recently. A lot of stuff makes so much more sense now.

I wish I'd known younger.

What was it you watched btw? (How do I see it?)

Oh gosh I think I need to see this too!

Have a search on here for Adult ADHD, there are a few threads here and there. And @HowToADHD on their and YouTube is good as is the Additude website. Worth the time to understand it all, might be useful for your son to, to see if he can see himself in descriptions at all. I think the diagnosis process would be via your GP if he'd be up for that. How are you feeling about it all?

1st step would be to get a diagnosis. Lots of conditions can look similar.

My 23 year old was recently diagnosed, and my 16 year old is currently going through the procedures. I'm so ashamed and angry that I missed the signs but to me, they were 'normal', it's how my kids behaved. Rarely naughty but can't sit still, can't watch a film through, constantly bored etc (though saying that they both have slightly different traits).
The change in my eldest is amazing, Im hoping for similar with the teen though she is still fighting a little against the stigma this diagnosis can bring at that age. Maybe a chat with your GP is the best way to get the ball rolling.
Good luck

Can't send the link but search on YouTube

Richard Bacon ADHD

He was on this morning
K

Planners, lists, setting reminders, visuals can all be helpful for forgetfulness, regardless.

@silvernutgoldenpear I'm sorry that you didn't get earlier support. Hopefully now you will.

@FreshTart , how do you get a diagnosis. What's made things improve?

I know what you mean about missing the signs.

😔

@DamsonGin , thank you I'll look at that.

@Shedmicehugh1 , how would you go about getting a diagnosis?

Speak to your GP about a referral. As your son is 25, obviously speak to him first.

Maybe let your son do some reading about ADHD?

@Shedmicehugh1 yes good idea, will do that.

SS is aged 30. His mother, GP and I suspect ADHD or something similar. He himself admits he has a problem. But, he dismissed the psychiatrist he was referred to as an idiot after one appointment and refused to do the follow up. He has never finished school or any of the many training courses he has followed. He struggles with friendships and relationships, he cannot get himself organised. He is deeply unhappy and DP has worried he would take his life.

Has anyone had any luck convincing an adult to get a proper diagnosis? How did you do it?

A lot of strategies are just common sense and things you would you use yourself.

For example if you lost your bank card regularly, what would you do?

Put it in a wallet
Use an app on your phone etc, etc

Room tidying/no motivation
Break it down into smaller tasks
Have a set day
A list of what to do
A reward for when you’ve finished etc

Just to mention - hyperactivity isn't always a symptom of ADHD (despite the name!)

One type of ADHD is inattentive ADHD. People with inattentive ADHD don't have hyperactivity eg they can sit still.
Also if someone has ADHD it doesn't mean they can't focus on anything at all.

People with ADHD can often "hyperfocus" meaning they focus on just one thing and exclude everything else.

My (suspected) type of ADHD is inattentive. I never thought ADHD was anything to do with me as I'm not hyperactive and I can get very absorbed in things.

My lightbulb moment was a thread here on procrastination.

It was an absolute revelation to me that different aspects of my personality such as my chronic procrastination, messy house, constant lateness, impulsivity, risk taking behaviour, forgetfullness, constant losing things, creativity and ability to get absorbed in things I like - all appeared together on a list, with a name that wasn't just "silvernut is crap at life".

ADHDAdult I've been pre-assessed for assessment, if that makes sense!

They think it's worth me being assessed basically. I have been warned I may wait up to a year for the appointment. In the meantime I'm doing CBT for procrastination but it's not helping just yet. Maybe it will in time...

I've been reading about the link with lack of sleep and ADHD.

If I've understood it correctly, lack of sleep does NOT cause - nor can sleep cure ADHD.

But lack of sleep can make symptoms worse. It's definitely been worse for me since becoming a mother and I wonder if it's partly down to lack of sleep. (The rest is simply having to juggle so many extra responsibilities with crap executive function I think).