Aibu to ask how to entertain an only child?

[Chand4567]

Hi I am looking for ideas to entertain an only child - boy over 8. I always feel like I have to arrange play dates, or movies, etc and that just the 2 of us is not enough. So I was hoping
Parents with only children could let on how they keep their onlies entertained over the holidays. No mean comments please I am looking for genuine help. Thanks

Or ideas for days out. Thanks

Are you in a city, town or countryside?

We are in a town, but accessible to London by train in about an 1 hour.
Thank you sezzi I think mostly I just feel guilty that he is an only. My partner ever seems to have any problem Entertaining him, but I always feel I have to do really big things, rather than just the lovely things you have mentioned.

I'm an only child and used to go to the local leisure centre over the holidays. I loved it and it made the time I spent with my parents special. I think they would say it was great because I was shattered and went to bed easily! My dad was often away so it was just me and my mum quite a lot of the time. When my mum had the odd day off we'd go to things like a nature park (as in local areas dedicated to nature and so free), zoo, museums etc

Don’t feel guilty!
Mine is younger but we recently downloaded a free stop motion app for my phone and have been having loads of fun making our own movies using Lego.
We also dress up and have parties at home - party music, games, food - on rainy days.
Go to the library, choose a book each, go to a cafe and have a piece of cake and each read our books.
Sometimes we take a picnic on the bus and give each other challenges - eg spot four yellow cars, two police cars, a woman with a red top on etc.
Dh does much more active stuff but i like doing things that are quite quiet and concentrated, so that’s what dd and I do together

I do cooking with 10 year old boy. We make pizza, cakes, peel potatoes and carrots to make soup in soup maker etc. We go swimming together. I also sign him up for a kids club in Easter holidays where they swim each day and do multisports in sportshall in mornings. He takes a packed up lunch then in afternoon they do a craft/art activity. It runs from 10-4pm. It fills a large part of day and he has other children to play with which he does not have at home. He will attend 4 days over Easter holidays. He is allowed to watch 1 DVD each day over holidays. He bounces on his trampoline inn the garden if not raining. He plays with lego but not for long. I listen to him read some days. We went to France for four days over Easter and have been out to walk over a very high viaduct and driven to beach where tide was in fully so we threw stones into the sea and walked along the top.

What do you like to do? What would you do if you were on your own?
We also have movie nights where we get the duvets out in front of the tv and watch a movie together.
If she’s interested in something we follow it up however we can - go to a museum, find books, films, visit a real place connected to the fact or person, try recipes from the time. Recently she’s been interested in the queen so we have looked at the royal family tree, went to look at Buckingham Palace, watched videos of he coronation etc. It’s not m favourite topic (staunch republican!) but I love watching her connect things in her head.

Mine are 5 and 7 weeks so whilst not an only child, the 5 year old is only just getting used to having a sibling.

This Easter we used Ultimate Activity Camps (£50 ish per day) a few times to break up the week. First time he’s done anything like it and he keeps asking to go back - they seem to be very well run and he came back happy and tired.

He goes to see family, swimming, soft plays (although appreciate your DS is older so not such an option).

Museums? My son loves Transport, Science and Natural History.

There’s an app called The Hoop too which tells you what’s on nearby so you can get some ideas.

It’s reaklt hard but don’t feel they need constant entertainment - we had such a busy week the weekend we just stayed in and he played cars, watched films and had a bounce on the trampoline. He was fine.

@Nottheretoargue - that app sounds great - what’s it called? I’d love to do that with my son and his cars.

you don't need to do big stuff all time. I've found it easier to mix holiday clubs with some big days out with me, and some lower key stuff.

This easter we went to grandparents for the weekend. One afternoon out to the local castle which had an easter egg hunt with friends, one swimmimg pool trip with another friend, one lunch out with me, rest of the week at home playing on xbox, F1 season has started, watching Commonwealth Games together. He was allowed quite a lot of time on the xbox because today he went off with scouts for a week, no electronics or TV in sight for 5 days.
In the summer he has a week at scouts, I then have two weeks off work and we are staying 8 nights in various YHAs in Wales and Brigton, and a few days with grandparents. Tennis camp for a week, and finish off with a few beach days in Cornwall staying with friends.
If you have English Heritage or National Trust properties nearby its worth investing in a membership as they often have lots of events on over the holidays, or just nice places to walk and have an ice cream. My English Heritage card is £50 a year, you can take up to four children in, it pays for itself after two or three outings.

I'm an only child and my DM was a single parent, so it was just the two of us.

I was very happy in my own company (still am!) and would spend hours at 8yo playing with Lego and Sylvanian Families. I was friends with a couple of neighbourhood kids who I would play out with or in each other's houses. I learned to entertain myself and don't remember feeling bored looking back now, although I may have said I was at the time of course!
DM and I would bake together and occassionally she would join me with the Sylvanian Families or making things with Fimo [makes mental note to look up if you can still buy it]. The only thing I remember feeling like I was missing out on and wished DM would do with me were board games (she hated them) and occassionally kicking a ball around with me (she was the least sporty person you'd ever meet). I didn't do any activities outside of school except a brief spell in Brownies as she couldn't afford it, but I never felt like I was missing out.

We holidayed in the UK most years and on those trips would spend some of the days visiting things, some doing activities like rock pooling together, and the rest DM would sunbathe on the beach whilst I amused myself building sandcastles and dams. It was great and I have only happy memories of those holidays. One year we went to Greece and I got put in a holiday club for half days, which was also fun.

As long as you don't do what DF used to do on holidays (and his access weekends) and do only grown-up stuff hanging out in very child-unfriendly bars then you're doing well. Onlys don't need constant attention and activities, don't feel guilty.

Get them interested in reading if you can,this will set you up for years.
Swimming at a wave pool,at 8 if they take a friend you can watch from the side.
Parks, especially if you have one with equipment for older children,this is your last chance they will be to old/big in a year or two.
Also children need training in doing nothing and boredom or they will become discontent adults.I always had a list of things that DD needed to do (clean her room,including hoovering by 8yrs,cleaning the cat litter tray..you get the gist),these were things she could do f she complained of being bored.
Have friends round with parents who will return the favour and let them sort themselves out.
In summer have BBQs,teach him cartwheels.I used to get my DD to find things in the garden(a purple flower,black plant pot etc),with a run around the apple trees between each item and and iced lolly in-between,this is a good game to play sat in the shade with a glass of cool wine in hand.

Thank you everyone some really good ideas. I have downloaded the hoop app as that looks really good. I worry about sending him to camps if he doesn’t know anyone else, but I could just be mollycoddling as he is an only. I think we will do some baking in the morning and then take his camera out on a walk and see what we can snap. I also like the idea of ending up at a coffee shop or library to do some reading. Really appreciate everyone’s responses.

I also like the idea of the English heritage card, will look into it. Thanks

Stop going on about him being an only as if he's some kind of freak! Most of DD's friends who have siblings don't play with their brothers or sisters so your DS isn't at a disadvantage.

You've had lots of good suggestions but I'd like to add one: leave him to his own devices. Let him learn to entertain himself. Even if it's in front of a screen 😀

Dreich you obviously didn’t notice this post was about ideas for an only child. I might ‘go on’ about it, but it is mostly for my own guilt that he never had a sibling. I have really appreciated the comments about not feeling guilty as it is something I struggle with. So I guess I feel like the ‘freak’. He is a very happy adjusted boy. My guilt is what stops me just enjoying doing the simple things with him.

I also don’t agree with leaving kids in front of a screen. Not sure about your children but it seems to turn mine into a monster!

Do you have a garden?

I find DD can spend endless time just pottering around our tiny garden. Being outside relieves the cabin fever and there are always amusing bugs to inspect...

My worst consistent mistake as a parent was to under estimate the importance of me. An only doesn't have to share time in the same way kids with siblings do. And you have time, space and energy to click into their interests and feed those in a way which parents of more than one struggle with... Much harder to fit in going to a museum if sibling has to be at football training, etc

Arranging play dates is more important, I think. So keep on with that. Incidentally, for the big trips - like theme parks, we had a good friend we 'borrowed' for those days so DD could share that experience (which she preferred), and we saved money by getting family tickets. But we were v v v lucky that dad's bf's family let us kidnap her!

And enjoy your child!

As a kid I did a LOT of reading, gardening and computer games. My mum took me out for walks and bike rides. Or I played with other kids in the street if there were any around. As far as I know my mum never felt guilty about me not having a sibling. Can't say it ever bothered me either!

Oh do stop feeling guilty! You've got a happy, well-adjusted boy - siblings could have messed that up for all you know.

Thanks everyone, think I just needed a big kick to stop feeling guilty. I used to do so much with my son when he was little but as he had gotten older and I guess more independent I have struggled to entertain him in the same way. I also work 4 days a week but used to be a SAHM so everything used to be more natural as it was just routine. I will definitely enjoy the time i have with him and lots of great ideas for the rest of the week. Thank you