If someone says ‘you have done things to annoy me’ what do you think?

[MismatchedStripySocks]

My colleague is, for want of a better word, feisty. This morning she yelled at me and one of the things she yelled (several times) was ‘there are loads of things I have held my tongue over because you’re unreasonable’. Seriously, the woman talks for Ireland, so unlikely.

I asked her on at least three occasions what at least one of these misdemeanours was and she wouldn’t tell me

If I genuinely have done something I would like to put it right but I am wracking my brains and can’t think what it is.

This is the woman who once screamed at me and called me a fucking bitch because I had taken my key to lunch and had locked hers in the office. This was accidental as it was supposed to be on her lanyard but she had left it in her handbag. Was I supposed to check?!!

It’s only us in the office too, not sure how to deal with this

Another vote for giving your supervisor/manager a chance to sort it out. You have done nothing wrong and the employer has a duty of care to you both. If this cannot be resolved amicably they really need to stop the abuse you are suffering.

And yes , abuse is not too strong a label.

Look at the signs in a post office sorting office or similar ' we will not tolerate verbal abuse of our staff'.

The very fact that you are not looking to employer to do something to make it stop, us possibly a sign that it is getting to you, that you somehow think you have done something wrong. From what you gave written that is not the case. And the person shouting at you needs help, regardless of what is driving them to this behaviour, it is just not ok and must be stopped.

All the best. You will feel better when it us addressed.