Kind things that stick

[DoctorWhatTheFuck]

I remember years ago when dealing with a terrible two a kind stranger put her hand on my shoulder and said ‘don’t worry, it gets better’.

I remember this years later and try and say kind things where appropriate.
What beautiful hair/ outfit/ I love the way you bake/ sing.

Are there any positive ‘throwaway comments’ you have received that stuck?

A man came up to me in the grocery a free months ago and told me I'm a very beautiful woman. I love complimenting strangers.

A lady came up to me in Morrison's one day, while I was struggling with my (then newborn ish twins), and told me I was an amazing mum, my kids were beautiful, and gave me a hug.
It was exactly what I needed that day, and I think of it often - she's probably long since forgotten it and she'll never know what a difference it made to me, but I will be forever grateful.

Aww these are nice. It's amazing the power a few kind words can have, that someone still remembers how they made them feel years later.

Someone told me I had a handsome smile on a day where I REALLY needed to hear that

An older lady watched us going around Sainsburys when DS2 was tiny; DS1 has ASD and was reading from his shopping list and finding the things we needed (which was one of the best ways to keep him on-track in a busy sensory-overload place like a supermarket). I was exhausted, had been up from midnight til 4am with DS2 who was doing some sort of mad cluster-feeding thing and looked like a box of trolls. She rubbed my back, smiled at DS1 and told me "look how happy these babies are, keep going".

It was the kindest moment I've ever known and exactly what I needed at that moment, though I hadn't known it. I teach Reception now and we have a rule that by the end of each afternoon everyone in the class has to have given a compliment to another person (adults included). The children are only very young but already understand how lovely it feels when someone notices something wonderful about you. I love it.

A lady and gentleman in a cafe had been looking over at noisy, giggly DD and me - she was about 10 months old. As they left, they cane over and said how beautiful it was to see a mother so in tune with her baby.

A very elderly man sitting on a bench while baby DS and I were watching toddler DD on a roundabout ride. He said how ‘bonny’ DS was and could he hold him. Struggling a little with myself, I handed him over. He cried and said he hadn’t held a baby since his own, 60 years before.

And more recently, after an awful supermarket trip with the two DC (I hate supermarket shopping with them), a lady came to me in the car park as o was taking my trolley back. She told me how impressed she’d been with the behaviour of my children and how I managed them and she’d been a teacher so ‘knew what it was like’. Didn’t dare tell her I’m a teacher too so it should be easy!

I try to offer similar comments when I think I can. I know some people will hate it, but those three moments really helped me through difficult times.

I remember reading a story in readers digest. A teacher made a list with every child’s name on it. Each person in the class got a sheet then had to write a nice thing about each person on the list. The teacher took them all home and wrote them out so John e.g. would have a sheet of paper with 30 things people like about him. A few years later one class member died and they went to his funeral and it turned out that everyone still had their list.