AIBU that i think OH should get off my back about pregnancy?

[Woshambo]

I am 15 weeks pregnant. My OH keeps telling me that I'm "not THAT pregnant" and should not be tired etc.
I also suffer from sciatica quite badly (since before pregnancy) and my OH cannot understand that I am not taking pain medication and solely relying on physio exercises to control the pain. He is constantly on my back to gut out rooms and wall paper etc while I am also working 40 hours a week.
He is constantly comparing me to his friends OHs and their pregnancies and saying I'm a dramaqueen.
I genuinely feel like I'm going to either explode or go into a depression as I can't make him understand that I'm in pain and tired and I only want to do these things when I am not feeling that way. AIBU?

14 weeks pregnant here. Have been suffering with sciatica on/off for the last 7 years. It's become so much worse since I was 3 weeks pregnant and it's been horrific in previous pregnancies (coupled with pgp and consequently crutches and periods of complete immobility).

He is an arse of the highest order. He has absolutely no idea.

To put it into context my DH has been doing a 40 hour week in a manual job and coming home and often having to cook dinner and take on the lions share (I'm on school hols at the moment looking after other children). Not once has he grumbled because he knows that some days I physically can't manage it. Hilarious about the decorating. If it's so easy he doesn't need your help.

Sorry to say that this is a sign of things to come. What will he be like when children are older and you're unwell or if you decide to be a sahm or any number of combinations.

Sounds like a bit of a prick tbh.

The first 18 weeks were the worst for me. Severe morning sickness and total exhaustion. Working was a struggle, just getting up often was. The 1at trimester is when baby goes through the most development in terms of actually forming everything etc so of course you’re going to be knackered! You’re growing a tiny human. But, he’ll never totally understand that because he can’t do it . Absolutely take him to your next appointment and have the midwife explain exactly what pregnancy can entail!

Quite frankly, no uterus, no opinion.

Oh dear, fast forward to him asking why on earth you are exhausted with a newborn because all of his friends’ wives were climbing mountains and running marathons when baby was three weeks old. This needs to be nipped in the bud. Pregnancy is a physiological process which affects people differently. Having a newborn also affects people differently.

Lots of good advice here. Don’t risk your health and baby’s health trying to be superwoman.

He's being a total arse, but I'm hoping it's because he's just not getting it rather than he's a lost cause. How is he the rest of the time? My husband is generally a loving and caring person, but he didn't totally get it with my first pregnancy. He'd be really sympathetic when I was throwing my guts up several times a day, sciatica, nose bleeds, muscle cramps, etc. but he was in panic mode trying to prepare the house for when baby came and bullied me into unpacking boxes when the midwife had just told me my urine test was very worrying and I needed to drink a lucozade and have something to eat and really focus on keeping it down. I threw it all up within minutes of unpacking. Should have gone to hospital but didn't want to cause a fuss. Then on first walk after the baby was born at about day 5 (if that) he wanted to add a longer route onto to the initial down the road to the park and back again. Said not far. It fecking was and my body went into complete shut down as soon as we started walking back and every single part of me hurt and I sobbed and struggled the whole way home. Then he also made me feel pushed into sex as soon as my last stitch fell out 3 weeks after a borerline 3rd degree tear. It was awful and put me off sex for years. I still resent him for that one. But you see he is a good person, he was just oblivious and I went along with stuff because he's usually pretty switched on and know a lot about things so I trusted him. I now realise that although he is extremely intelligent he completely lacks common sense sometimes. He was much better with subsequent pregnancies but I got much better at telling him when he's wrong.
I would also suggest the baby books, the midwife, some way to educate him and show him what a knob he is being. I hope you manage it.

Not "that" pregnant.

You either are pregnant or you're not. You may not have a massive bump at this stage but that does not mean that you're not growing a fricken person inside of you!!

At this stage you’re also growing an organ. An actual organ. And a baby. Your body is actually doing that, so yes, crushing tiredness is completely normal.

I kept falling asleep and in combination with feeling very sick and not eating much, I had zero energy and felt bloody awful. Which was normal.

For what it’s worth I suddenly felt much more human around 18-20 weeks I think, until about 33weeks. So if you want to get stuff done it’s then. Not before.

Pregnancy is indeed ‘not an illness’. But it can turn into one if annoying fucks don’t treat your body with respect. Or, what I mean is that you can be extremely ill throughout pregnancy and your health will suffer, you won’t rebound so well after the birth and you won’t have a good standard of physical or mental health and well-being now, or ongoing for ages after if someone acts like a prick when they should be caring.

I don’t really understand all these people saying ‘give him a break, men don’t get it’. He doesn’t have to get it. OP has told him she feels exhausted and in pain... either he believes her and supports her accordingly, or he thinks she’s lying.
People don’t have to experience something themselves to have empathy for others.

Because everything to him is a "2 man job" lol

Hi all sorry it's been ages since I was last on I have been off work. I got a burst of energy one day for a few hours so stripped the wall paper off the bathroom and painted it all twice. I also threw out an old washing machine and plumbed in our other one after fixing it. My OH came home from work and went nuts. He has now decided I have to take time off work (nope!) To rest.
It must have just been pure panic at how little time we had to sort things as he is now doing everything (apart from the washing).
I will still be taking him to my next appointment as I'm still tired mostly, stabby legs n back (sciatica) and I'm overheating and almost fainting before I even realise I am getting too warm.
If he tries to resort back to being a Dbag I'll be showing him this thread.
Thank you ladies! You have been the support I really needed xoxo