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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask how on earth I can help my mum tonight?

12 replies

shouldnthavesaid · 08/04/2018 19:53

Sister phoned at 4 saying Mum had been taken to local casualty/MI unit following a seizure. Unit is notoriously short staffed (2 doctors and usually 2 nurses) and handles everyone refered by NHS 24/walk ins as well as house calls , telephone calls and two 10 bed wards and a maternity unit... so always very, very busy and usually an OOH appt or walk in takes 3-4 hours. If you get the wrong time when doctors are out on wards or house calls or changing shift you're scuppered
Mum got taken in at 4, paramedic told me to phone reception at 6 for an update. Reception said at 6 she'd need seen by a doctor before they'd let her away, phone again at 7ish.

Phoned at 7 - nurse said, she's in waiting room, she'll see a doctor at some point.

I think she has money but not sure. Sister has learning difficulties/autism and whilst she is very capable, socially she isnt so good. She lives 4 mins walk from hospital , with 24/7 carer support - carer lives 3 mins from mum. Sister (and carer) have said mum is not of their concern, she'll have to sort herself out.

Mum will be tired, post ictal so confused, she will be wet (and on NE coast so its bloody freezing out) without a decent coat. She doesn't have a phone.

I'm 200 miles away having just travelled from mums to my house, at 2 this afternoon- if I left now I'd not get back until past midnight (2 buses and a train) so too far.

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 08/04/2018 19:54

Oh no, that's terrible. Your poor mum. Why is your sister saying it's not her concern? And the carer too - that's awful.

blueskyinmarch · 08/04/2018 19:56

Does your mum have any friends who live near her who could go and support her?

Oddcat · 08/04/2018 19:57

Your poor mum . Can your sister really not help ? Does your mum have any neighbours that could pick her up ? A bIt late now , but maybe get a plan in place for if this happens again .

Oddcat · 08/04/2018 19:59

Another thought , would they not keep her in hospital until tomorrow, I'd give them a call and explain that she'd be in her own if they discharge her now.

UrsulaPandress · 08/04/2018 19:59

Surely they will keep her in overnight?

retirednow · 08/04/2018 20:00

Poor mum, I hope she is ok, does she live alone. I would ring the nurses back,and explain that you live away and are very worried about your mum, that she won't be in a fit state to look after herself at home. I would also ring the carer agency and ask them to contact your sisters carer to see if they can take your sister to visit your mum. If you don't feel the nurses are able to help ring the hospital and ask to speak to the site manager. Flowers

VioletCharlotte · 08/04/2018 20:01

What a horrible situation, your poor Mum. I don't think you should drive up there tonight, you must be shattered, I think you should get some rest and drive up in the
morning. Does your Mum have a friend who could maybe help out for tonight? I'm not sure if the hospital will let her go home without someone to be with her. How old is she?

Howmanysleepstilchristmas · 08/04/2018 20:04

Speak to the hospital. They can check if she needs money for a taxi home. They may be able to order one on account if not- hospitals i worked at have, though the fact isn’t advertised. Or if they or your mum let you know when she is discharged you could order an Uber on your card. If she’s yet to be seen I imagine post ictal confusion will be passed by the time she is discharged, if it takes longer than typical for her you could explain circumstances to the hospital and ask they let her stay until it passes, even if just in the waiting room.

trickyboots · 08/04/2018 20:04

Hospital chaplain? if the hospital has one they might look in on her or have ideas of charitable help that exists?

retirednow · 08/04/2018 22:59

How is your mum OP?

shouldnthavesaid · 09/04/2018 21:01

She's home, they put her in a taxi about this time last night. Her carers came round this morning said nothing they can do to help.. her short term memory is shot , been like that for a while but that frightens me - its like she seems clouded a lot or foggy. I keep thinking I made a mistake moving away for uni and wondering if I Should move home as her full time carer and forget uni just now. At least I'd know she was safe.

OP posts:
Pythonesque · 09/04/2018 21:18

At this point I'd suggest you phone her GP. Don't expect to be able to be told what is or isn't going on, but just say you wanted to alert them to the situation / provide information. That may help them appropriately judge the next step to getting her the help she needs.

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