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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want to start from scratch? (daydreaming)

11 replies

LadyRenoir · 08/04/2018 17:56

Ok, so to give a bit of a context, I am not originally from the UK, arrived here more than 10 years agoto have an adventure and just to study, then stayed to work, then got married, etc. Both me and my partner have full time, stable jobs, where we don't have to worry about redundancies. He however feels very stuck and frustrated, works crazy hours, no prospects of going up nor much development (he is a manager, having one stuff under him), the company unwilling to invest at all in his training. The job market in his field is very competitive, and although he has been applying for jobs, he has no even received any interviews, which probably go to younger, better suitable candidates who have not missed out on being stuck in one job for many years. My job over the years has changed drastically, involving more and more pointless paperwork and constantly increasing, unreasonable workload.
Don't get me wrong, I am so grateful we both have jobs and that these jobs pay for quite a comfortable life. But, we recently had a baby, my partner literally NEVER sees it because of his working hours, and once my maternity finished, I will probably not have much time for it either. We both feel stuck and not very happy that we dont get any family time together.

The other day I came across a job ad which would be perfect for me. In China out of all places. It has been such a huge dream for both of us to travel there, but we sort of pushed it aside as fantasy and 'not the right thing to do'. Now I am writing a CV and a cover letter, and getting super excited about applying. And the next thing, getting really worried if it's not a waste of time, and whether we actually would want such a big move- rent out our house, pack our belongings, refurbish the whole place to be rented out, move away from our respective families, bring our baby so far away from everything we know...
Which is ridiculous, as I have not even sent the bloody application! So on the one hand I am dreaming of this amazing change, an adventure, doing something new and exciting in my field, and then being scared whether it will not be the case of the grass being greener on the other side and whether it is unreasonable to pretty much throw away everything we worked hard for, and to come back in 5 years time (contract time) to nothing again.

If anyone has any experiences of moving away like this, I would love to listen to that!

OP posts:
Ski40 · 08/04/2018 18:09

Wow! It does sound exciting. I don't have advice, just a bit of jealousy😊😊 as I would love to do that but I'm certainly not in the position.
Awaiting further posts with much interest.
Whatever you decide to do, good luck xx

LadyRenoir · 08/04/2018 18:39

I know! A colleague of mine moved over to Thailand with her husband exactly in the same position as us, unfortunately have not got in touch with her, but it has been on my mind since, that maybe we don;t have to live a life we do now, working, eating, sleeping, working.
I know though a lot of people would find us ungrateful, as at the end of the day we are quite fortunate to be where we are. But yeah, I keep on thinking that hopefully life has something exciting in store for us, maybe, just maybe?

OP posts:
Ski40 · 08/04/2018 20:46

I love that way of thinking! Before I met DH I was saving up to buy a round the world plane ticket and go Woofing around the world. I had pages and pages of detailed itinerary/plans and had secured my first job in New Zealand, and my dream was to do it for a year or two, write a book about it and maybe even try to settle down in one of the countries I visited. Then I met DH, got pregnant etc. He is definitely a homebody, hates travelling and I know now I will never get to do that. I love my family and my life but there is a part of me that aches for the adventure I never had. So to anyone lucky enough to be able to do it I would say go for it, life is so very short! 😍

7Days · 08/04/2018 20:49

I say go for it while your baby is small. If you think you are stuck now, wait til your kids are in school. Much harder to disrupt things then.

PrettyWisdomous · 08/04/2018 20:52

Go for it. But why do you call your baby it? Hmm

lattewith3shotsplease · 08/04/2018 20:57

Yes do it.........you only live once Smile

HollowTalk · 08/04/2018 20:59

Would your husband stay at home with the baby, then?

Lilymossflower · 08/04/2018 21:00

DO IT DO IT DO IT !

Life is too short for boring work and no Time for adventure or loved ones !!!!

Mildred007 · 08/04/2018 21:05

If your husband supports you what have you got to lose. Sounds fab. I think when you have children your priorities can change. Mine certainly have. Life isn't about working & how much money you can earn. It's about experiences, making memories, time, doing what's right for you and your family. Follow your dreams if you can.

bridgetreilly · 08/04/2018 21:10

What would you regret more - not having tried to change your life, or having tried and it didn't work out as you hoped?

BettyBaggins · 08/04/2018 21:18

Yup, I have done it. At a different life stage to you. DD was 22 and had left home. So I did too. Do it!

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