Who is being BU here?

[Stardust91]

I am pregnant and was hungry so was looking for something to eat when DH suggested hotdogs and he would be happy to make them for me. I love hotdogs and since we aren't big on lunches (for DH it's all about dinner, i am a breakfast person) thought it was a good idea as something quick to have.

We were eating when DM called to see how we are. I told her we are eating and she asked what. I should never have told her about the hotdogs. She lost it.

She started a long lecture about how i shouldn't be eating crap and snacks during pregnancy and it's very bad and DH needs to make me vegetables and fruits dishes. And that i need to have a word with him. And how that types of food have chemicals and i will be gaining weight etc etc.
By that point i was fed up and told her, right have a good Sunday too. She asked what you mean? I said to her, well you phoned to see how we are and you started moaning and lecturing me. Anyway, did you and your DP go anywhere last night? (I tried changing the subject). She mumbled something and passed the phone over to her DP who asked what i told my DM because she left the room crying and called me my 'father's daughter' (that was meant as an insult and she only calls me that when she feels I am being difficult and unreasonable. Parents are divorced).

I think she massively overreacted. Her DP told me to call later. Anyway, i am not sure how to go about this. I did call 15-20min later and found out that they had gone out and they weren't there.

Who is the unreasonable here? I don't feel like i said anything insulting or upsetting to her. Quite the opposite, i feel she was saying more upsetting things as if i didn't know how to take care of myself and my baby. I know she is waiting for me to apologize, but i am not sure how to even approach this discussion when i get in touch again and what to tell her.

Sorry for long post. Any advice?

Good god, it's a hot dog! Your mum is definitely unreasonable here. Isn't the general rule of thumb to eat everything in moderation anyway? One hot dog here and there certainly won't hurt the baby. In fact, a hot dog every day wouldnt hurt the baby either! You're an adult, you don't need your mums opinion on what you're eating.

I've been wanting cheeseburgers constantly this pregnancy. My DH brings home two burgers and a diet vanilla coke from Five Guys for me on the way home from work every Friday at the moment. Best day of the week

If you were eating hotdogs for 3 meals a day then YABU. Otherwise she needs to butt out!

The only one who needs to apologize is your mother. She was completely out of bounds. And that snide remark about being your father's daughter is unacceptable. I would tell her to never say that again.

She sounds like a right drama queen! Yanbu

DianaPrincess Thank you :)

And thank you all for your replies. I am glad to see that i am not the only one being 'naughty' diet wise. You read all those websites and articles about what you should eat in your pregnancy that I thought women become health fanatics during those months. I am so relieved to see that i am not the only one having cravings for 'bad' food!

Aquamarine i mentioned that to her when she called, that her comment hurt. All she said was the way i talked to her sounded like i had no respect for her and basically i sounded like my dad.
In all honesty i can say i wish i had gone hungry and completely skipped lunch or never picked up that phone... I just feel drained.

OP congratulations on your pregnancy. I'm not a granny but I'm old enough to be one! When I was pregnant my food of choice was king prawn curry from the Chinese-yes, full of MSG but I would have killed for it! Please don't feel guilty about that hotdog but try not to have too many!

You've spoken to your mum and broken the ice, well done, I think I would probably have put the phone down. My advice would be to practice not telling her the whole story or maybe white lies, she doesn't need to know everything about you. Tell her what she wants to hear or tell her to butt out. Start it now because she's going to get worse.

I'd also put my foot down at the 'father's daughter comment' because I would not accept any comment that was intended to insult from her. Good luck with your baby!

I took my vitamins and did my best to eat well during my pregnancy. I also ate a lot of mild curry flavoured Super Noodles. I used to stir peas into them to make myself feel less guilty You’re not doing anything awful by having a bit of junk.

Watch her op. Set boundries. I had a relative like this and i wish i had set boundries early on. I had grief over how i was feeding my baby wrong and setting terrible sleep patterns as soon as he was born.

Your Mum needs to get a grip, you might be her child but you're also a grownup who can make your own decisions. Also the crying just because you called her on her poor behaviour is simply ridiculous.

It would be great if we could all eat like nutritious goddesses during pregnancy, but the reality is appetite, cravings, and preferences can dominate our food choices.

There's a fast food restaurant that I normally can only be dragged to by my husband once a year, that while pregnant I've eaten at 3 to 4 times per month. Also have cravings for a particular sweet I normally don't care for and have gone off many of my favourite foods.

I just make up for my dietary shortfalls with vitamins, supplements, and protein water.

DH suggested as well not to tell what we are eating if it's not very healthy, so from now on 'what did you have for dinner?' 'we had a vegetable stir fry pizza '
I will try and set some boundaries as well and see how it goes.
Thank you all for your replies!

@leigha

It’s not KFC is it? I’ve craved that so much in both pregnancies and I was trying to go vegan before the last pregnancy . My asshole BIL made a dig at me for eating it ONCE during pregnancy andi was then shamed off it. He’s such a shit. .