To leave tomorrow?

[Laura9867]

Staying with my mum this weekend. Travelled 4 hours with DD (4 years old) to get here. Divorced 3 years ago and my mum has never been the supportive type. I've found certain things a little difficult with co-parenting recently and I was telling my mum about some issues after DD had gone to bed. She just sighed, looked at me and said, 'I'm glad I didn't have your life!' Plan had been to stay a few days but AIBU to leave tomorrow?

You are tired and it's a long drive...

Give her a chance to give some hands on help with DD tomorrow?

Perhaps change your expectations of her and see if there is anything positive about spending time with her?

YANBU to be upset at the lack of support from her!

I'd just accept that she isn't going to be the sort of mother you need and I wouldn't talk to her about anything private. It's really shit, I know.

Exactly what HollowTalk said it’s hard to do when you want so much more but having got this point life is better when you stop expecting what you won’t get.

Perhaps that's just her way of trying to empathise? Was she saying she could see how hard it is for you and she wouldn't have coped? Maybe she just can't express it well- it doesn't necessarily mean she doesn't feel for you. Go to bed and sleep on it.

Perhaps she meant it as in, you have it really hard and she's just glad she didn't have the same sorts of problems? Was dd excited to see her grandma? If yes I'd stay for that reason even if she meant it horribly and in future just don't talk about your problems with her.

I'd get some sleep and if you still want to leave, leave tomorrow x

What a horrible thing to say.
Is she normally tactless and insensitive?
If you leave early where do go from there? Will relations be more difficult in future?

'I'm glad I didn't have your life!'

Maybe that is as far as she can go with sympathy?

Is she acknowledging that life is tough for you, tougher than she could deal with?

I don't know.

Just want to give you a massive hug - nothing worse than feeling on your own, espesh with a little one - been there.
Try have a nice day with your mum tomorrow, when LO goes to bed again, tell her how you are feeling and mention her comment and how un-helpful it was!
I hope you can sort it with her, if not, go home next day and leave it at that, try build yourself a network and a better life for you and your LO xx

My DM used to say “I know just what you mean!” And then go on to tell me about something similar in her own life. It drove me nuts for years, it always felt as though she was trying to make everything about her. Now I realise it was just her way of saying she understood what I was going though.

Maybe your DM is struggling to know how to respond and this is her way of saying she recognises you are having a hard time. You might need to tell her what you need from her.

I know it hit a nerve. But her saying that could be her way of understanding you. She realises your life is tough at the moment and is grateful that she had it easier.
My mum bought us up as a single working parent. I think it took my brother having kids, still with his partner, to realise how hard it was for her.
When he just had the one baby he said to my mum "I don't know how you did it by yourself"

I'm not the MN official spokesperson, but we can PRETEND I am. And i am absolutely giving you permission to leave whenever you want.

Some suggestions in the meantime:

"Thanks, mum"

"Hmmm. I wonder if how I was parented contributes to where I am now in my life?" PA addition "I'm going to make sure I support my DD"

Mind you, she is probably speaking truth there, but she's probably cack-handedly trying to indicate sympathy.