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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

No one aknowledging last day at work after 15 years?

51 replies

Babyroobs · 07/04/2018 21:47

Yesterday was my last shift at work after 15 years of being there. No -one seemed to know it was my last day ( although bosses obviously knew as I handed my notice in 4 weeks ago. ).
AIBU to be upset that no-one had even bothered to get a card/ bunch of flowers / cake ? Half way through the day, the person in charge said I should come back in a couple of weeks for a send off/ tea. AIBU to think they should of got organised for the day I left ? I'm unlikely to go back , I have a new job and a busy life.

OP posts:
MrsJBaptiste · 07/04/2018 22:37

I can't imagine this happening at my workplace for a minute! In our office of 20 everyone always gets a birthday card from all of us, a gift from their line manager and we contribute to a collection if someone leaves, has a baby, has a significant birthday, etc.

Good luck for the next job, OP!

SchoolMoney · 07/04/2018 22:41

Be glad you're out.
I left a job after 9 years and was told there was no cake because 'don't you organise that kind of stuff?'. And my manager bitched at me all morning about having to do a speech about me and how awful it would be to replace me. Ta. Leaving gift was a fabulous bottle of whiskey though --that I felt very guilty about when I saw the receipt in the bag months later. Immediate boss bought it the day his son was born and was obviously guilted into handing it over since it was in his car and nothing had been organised.--

Just smile and think you're free!!

Chickenagain · 07/04/2018 22:48

What self-absorbed people you worked with. A good decision to leave, I feel.
Maybe, after you have settled into your new company, you could drop them all a line telling them thank you for your 15 years there and how wonderful your new job & colleagues are and wishing them well. Bastards !

Chrys2017 · 07/04/2018 23:01

At any place I've ever worked it's been up to the person leaving to organize/invite people for drinks (and that isn't normally on their last day in the office, but rather a few days or a week later). That then prompts someone to do a whip-round/card, which is presented at the leaving drinks.

Gwenhwyfar · 07/04/2018 23:03

"But I wouldn't expect more than a verbal goodbye/good luck! Other people also have busy lives and there's so much stuff going on in workplaces now it's hard to keep track. Many people don't engage in any sort of work gifts/get togethers now because it becomes a never ending cycle!"

What?!?
What kind of place do you work at?
Everywhere I've worked, in different countries, public, private and non-profit has done some kind of send-off. Temps might not always get them, but someone with 15 years' service would get a big party, possibly with external people or old colleagues attending as well and if not public sector, paid for by the employer.
OP's treatment here is really shit. I think I'd just keep in touch with anyone I liked a lot and not bother going back.

Timefortea99 · 07/04/2018 23:06

I dream of leaving my job. But I hate the thought of the leaving scenario. I don’t want a card, present, speech but it seems the norm where I work. I would like to slink off.

clippityclock · 07/04/2018 23:09

I got fuck all after 14 years. It sucks doesn't it and is actually quite hurtful. What made mine worse is that after I left I was asked to contribute towards someone who had been there less than 2 years!!!!!

Walk away and enjoy your new job. x

AntiHop · 07/04/2018 23:11

Flowers that is upsetting

SandyY2K · 07/04/2018 23:12

What's the norm when people leave? In my workplace we would do a collection for a gift and get a card. Then a speech in the office by a senior manager on their last day.

If my last day wasn't acknowledged after 15 years I would be a bit upset ...even though I don't like the speeches for myself.

BikeRunSki · 07/04/2018 23:16

Are you the person that normally organises cards, collections, gifts, leaving dos etc?

EdithBond · 07/04/2018 23:18

How dreadful! And what a terrible workplace. 15 years is a major achievement and justifies a big send-off, not just from colleagues but the company as a whole in thanks for 15 years service and the experience you must have passed on to others. It's inhumane. No wonder you wanted to leave. At my workplace we always buy people a birthday card/cake (usually organised by the line manager or a close work friend) and anyone leaving gets a present, card, speeches etc. plus we all go to the pub for their send-off to wish them well. All the best for your new job. I hope it's a nicer place and they value you there.

Juiceylucy09 · 08/04/2018 01:05

The management should be ashamed of themselves after so many years service.

You made the right decision leaving but I do not blame you been miffed. How thoughtless can people be.

Best of luck in your new job. I wouldn't go back in invited back for a goodbye gesture too little too late.

Tantpoke · 08/04/2018 01:28

Normally when I leave I organise drinks or a meal etc for a Friday and that way everyone knows you're leaving and they can organise a present and a card.

Gwenhwyfar · 08/04/2018 11:59

"What's the norm when people leave? In my workplace we would do a collection for a gift and get a card. Then a speech in the office by a senior manager on their last day."

Yes. Some places lay on drinks and food or organise going out for a drink or food on an evening. If it's a retirement, it will be a big party.
I got a gift and a card and lunch together after leaving as a temp - had been there about a year.
I got a present and card after being somewhere for 3 months!
The only places I've had nothing, or something very low key is when they've laid me off and the atmosphere's very tense.

LeighaJ · 08/04/2018 13:37

I'm not big on having a fuss made over me either but if I worked somewhere for 15 years I'd think I'd at least receive a card of some sort.

So I can definitely see why you're a bit upset.

bumblenbean · 08/04/2018 14:32

Edith I totally agree. Frankly it’s just rudeness and I would be very hurt. A card and a bunch of flowers is hardly a big ask especially after 15 years.

Ariela I’m sure you were liked. Please don’t take it personally - some people Are simply too absorbed in their own lives.

retirednow · 08/04/2018 14:37

I would be upset, it has happened to me, I found my leaving card in the managers office which wasn't even in an envelope. Don't bother going back in, enjoy your new job, Flowers

TheDairyQueen · 08/04/2018 15:09

It's shitty behaviour but you're better off shot of them.

Everyone in my office gets a birthday card, except for me - I don't contribute a penny to the various whip-arounds any longer since its not reciprocated. Fuck 'em.

Original poster
Babyroobs · 08/04/2018 17:58

Thanks for all the supportive comments and I'm sorry so many of you have had similar experiences. Don't think I'll bother to go back for drinks/ tea party in a few weeks I will just keep in touch with a few close colleagues.

OP posts:
ParisUSM · 08/04/2018 18:02

That's poor show, reminds me of my last place. I worked there for 17 years and received an email 6 months after leaving, asking me to come in on Christmas Eve for a presentation. I think they were genuinely annoyed when I said I wouldn't be doing that. People are weird.

Bedknobsandhoover · 08/04/2018 20:19

When I left after 16 years my boss told everyone I wouldn’t want a leaving party, which was the norm there. He asked everyone for contributions then spent the money on a collection of tatt which he gave me. I was disappointed not to get the chance to say goodbye to all my colleagues, embarrassed by the pathetic gift and angry that he knew so little about what I’d have liked as we’d worked together for about 8 years.

Pearlnecklaces · 08/04/2018 21:29

That's awful, really poor behaviour, when I left my job they organised a cake, card and gift and also a surprise party that I wasn't supposed to know about but did, it was lovely
it's not a reflection on you at all

RedForFilth · 09/04/2018 22:33

Gwenhwyfar I work in care. We're all mostly low paid and work all different shifts with many of us having personal caring responsibilities as well. Anyone who we're truly friends with we stay friends with. That's how we show we care about them rather than gifts we can't afford or nights out only a handful of people can make!

Gwenhwyfar · 10/04/2018 20:19

RedForFilth - I've worked in places where people would be unwilling to come for a night out because most had children. In that case, the send off was done in the office and paid for by the employer. If you're public sector, of course, that can't be done.
If someone has worked somewhere for 15 years that should be marked.
Carrying on as friends with someone afterwards is a separate matter.

MismatchedStripySocks · 10/04/2018 20:24

It’s shit OP Flowers I worked at my last job for 6.5 years and on my last day I just said ‘er, bye’, like I always did and left.

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