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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not have a party to please other people?

20 replies

Mamabear1475 · 07/04/2018 20:51

Dd is only 7 month old. I have been asked by multiple people where we are having her birthday party. Party? She is 1. Why would we have a party? We were planning on just spending time together as a family. Little cake and some presents. And then go for a day out with her (zoo or aquarium). But I didn't plan on inviting anybody else. Friend had her child's first birthday at a soft play. Invited 15 kids. Loads of food/cake/drinks that just seemed to be wasted as all the children were young and hardly ate anything. Apparently I have to do something because it's not fair I went to her son's and I'm not letting them come to ours Confused
Already arguing over birthdays and she's not even in school yet Hmm

OP posts:
bobinks · 07/04/2018 21:11

YANBU - have a lovely family first bithday!

DancingLedge · 07/04/2018 21:14

Stick to your guns.
No one year old needs a soft play big party.

PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 07/04/2018 21:15

YANBU. Mine had sandwiches and cake and my aunt was there.

RhinoGirl · 07/04/2018 21:17

YANBU. We had a party for DD today but it was at my parents and it was just family members. She knew nothing, wasn’t aware anything at all was going on. They don’t need a massive fuss at that age

Bunchofdaffodils · 07/04/2018 21:17

Yanbu. As you say, your child is one and won’t care what you do. You are not obliged to hold a party because someone else did. However, if you NEVER reciprocate or organise meet ups in any way don’t be surprised if you get less invites(of course you may prefer it this way!)

blackteasplease · 07/04/2018 21:18

yanbu at all! Definitely don't have a party for this woman's sake!

KeepServingTheDrinks · 07/04/2018 21:18

Is it that mum who has complained? "oh, we're not doing parties yet, but we'll invite you for a play date soon"

And enjoy the birthday - in five months time in the way you want

checkingforballoons · 07/04/2018 21:21

Do whatever you want to! We had a huge first birthday party for my son with soft play bits, ball pool, etc. It was great, but that’s what we wanted to do. Your plans sound lovely. Ignore anyone that’s pressuring you, it’s weird and none of their business.

pimlicolife · 07/04/2018 21:24

Just say you're not having one.

SenecaFalls · 07/04/2018 21:27

YANBU. I recently went to a birthday party for a one-year-old. There were close to 50 people there, mostly adults. The honoree alternately screamed and slept. Parents opened presents which amounted to about 30 stuffed toys. Ridiculous.

ScarlettDarling · 07/04/2018 21:29

Yanbu.

When my dc were tiny, birthday parties involved cake for close family at our house. Absolutely no need for soft play nonsense for a baby.

DozyDoates · 07/04/2018 21:32

YANBU we went to the aquarium for DSs first birthday (which was perfect for him) and had cake with family. He cried when we sang happy birthday to him Confused

purplecorkheart · 07/04/2018 21:32

Tell them when she is 18 years.

Original poster
Mamabear1475 · 07/04/2018 21:32

Just to add my dd wasn't even born when it was her son's birthday. I was still pregnant so we didn't benefit from it in any way and I only stayed half an hour as I was 40 weeks and knackered. I assume she is saying this because it will be her son's 2nd birthday just before my daughter's and she is probably planning something equally big Confused

OP posts:
Louiselouie0890 · 07/04/2018 22:24

Do what you want. We just had a little tea party at home

nailslikeknives · 07/04/2018 23:34

Feed her some line about how traditionally, all first birthdays in your family are grandparents only, (or whatever suits you). That’s true in our case!

KeepServingTheDrinks · 08/04/2018 00:17

FANTASTIC!!!!

She is clearly the queen of parties. You must come back and update us on what she does.

Fwiw, I'm a terrible parent most of the time. I don't say this lightly, it upsets me v much that I'm not better. BUT! I do fantastic parties. My DD is 16 now, so I'm past your stage, but I really remember them well... Treasure hunts, dress up. I did them all.

BUT, not until DD was 3. Parties should be about the kid. Before around 3 it'll all be friends of the adults and family. Waste of money, time and energy.

Original poster
Mamabear1475 · 08/04/2018 00:26

I can't wait until she is old enough to know what is happening. I've got loads of stuff planned already. But it will make no difference to her now. As long as we get some nice pictures together that's all I care about
@keepservingthedrinks
I can already see myself in full Elsa outfit singing let it go for her birthday when she is bigger. I can't bloody wait for it Grin

OP posts:
KeepServingTheDrinks · 08/04/2018 01:23

I'll come round and do your hair for you. You're going to be amazing!

I think you should jump oout of a cake and THEN start your singing!

CadyHeron · 08/04/2018 01:36

Friend had her child's first birthday at a soft play. Invited 15 kids

Whaa? That's bonkers for a start. At the age of 1?!
Loads of food/cake/drinks that just seemed to be wasted as all the children were young and hardly ate anything.
I'm not surprised!
Already arguing over birthdays and she's not even in school yet
Gawd, ignore, plenty of time for all that shizzle when they start school! Don't start at the age of 1. Asking for unnecessary stress.

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