To kind of hate being pregnant and worry about not bonding with baby

[Cupcakecafe]

I hate being pregnant.
I have no idea why, I've had probably the easiest pregnancy in the world. I was bloated between weeks 5 and 7 but other than that no issues at all. No morning sickness, no tiredness, no heartburn, no back pain etc. I'm due in 3w so unless something changes I can pretty confidently say it's been an easy pregnancy.
But.
I hate it. I hate every second. I feel like shit mentally. I feel fat, boring, miserable and just like crap. I hate the feeling of when my stomach moves, it's just uncomfortable and annoying.

It was a very much planned pregnancy, and the baby is very much wanted. But everyone always talks about loving their bumps and things but for me it's just annoying and uncomfortable. Does this mean I won't love my baby? I'm worried because I'm not particularly excited, just concerned that I can't do it or I'll be an awful mum. I love children, and my nieces and nephews are my world. But I get to leave them with their parents if they're tired, upset or ill. How am I supposed to look after a human myself and keep them alive and well and happy.
I'm just so scared and worried that I'll be awful and won't love my baby etc. I think hating being pregnant has made me worry about what comes next. Surely I should be happy and excited and everything?

It took me a good 9 months before I could confidently say I loved my DS.

The pregnancy was like yours. The birth was a piece of piss (although the events after couldn't have been worse).

I felt like I was being forced to look after a child I didn't even know.

Everything he did annoyed me, I looked after him because he needed me but I didn't feel much for him,

He's now a year old & I can say I've finally bonded, I absolutely adore my baby boy and although it's tough.....I love him with all my heart!

Please please don't be hard on yourself. It'll change.

I hate all this marketing crap that makes out like we should all love being pregnant and then all love breastfeeding etc etc etc when the reality can be so different! Even a straightforward uncomplicated pregnancy can be mentally emotionally and physically draining! I’ve had 6 children and the last 3 pregnancies, especially number 6 were just so hard even though I’ve never had complications as such. But luckily I’ve never had any bonding issues then so hopefully the same will be true for you!

I hope the rest of the pregnancy & the birth goes smoothly for you x

I’d waited so bloody long to get pregnant (a decade) that when I finally did and got over the elation that I’d achieved it, I then did a massive ‘what now?’ thing.

I had no bond at all with my bump and couldn’t connect that it was the now 9yo DD I had. I had a hard birth too and for the first 24 hours she was born it is a complete blur - plus DH was so knackered too (48 hour labour) that we barely have any photos. I can remember the ward and some events but not my DD! I had no instinct to feed her or mother her either, I was exhausted.

All I do know is sometime on the second night she woke up and I looked at her and thought ‘If anyone harms you I will literally kill them’. And another memory of her about 2 weeks old when I looked at her and thought ‘I get it now, all of it, why my Mum loves me and why I wanted this’. And at the first smile, 7 weeks, I was smitten. The rest is an utter blank fuzzy blur.

I’m very sure things will be just fine for you OP. Just be kind to yourself.

Thank you all, it's so nice to know I'm not alone.
I know a lot of people who are also pregnant at the minute and they all seem to be loving it so I just felt like a bit of a weirdo. And when everyone is asking are you excited and looking forward to it, it's very hard to say no not really!
You've all made me feel so much better and less alone, so thank you all so much

Pregnancy is the pits.
But I also suffered from sickness heartburn etc plus pre natal depression. Butttttt DC2 I didn't and it was still shit.
There are times now when they are 4 and 2 that it's the pits.
But it changes everything. And it's hard to bond with something moving in your womb that you can't see etc.
I hope you have a smooth birth and feel much more positive when the baby arrives. I know it happened that way for me.

I actually have wondered if there was something wrong with me to be looking forward to something that will go through about 10 nappies of varying degrees of disgusting at first, that will give me even less sleep then I get now, likely ravage my nipples, and cry for reasons I won't understand initially, plus that doesn't even include bonuses like projectile vomiting or getting crap in my hair.

I'm assuming it's mother nature's trickiness at work via hormones that make me think "I want my baby right now!" despite all that.

Although at least she wouldn't be spending her free time (which she has loads of) trying to find the comfiest spot on my bladder to lay her head. She's quite indecisive at the moment on it.

Being pregnant was rubbish. No rush over love and didn't bond fully for weeks as I had PND. Love her more than I can even explain now, it's ridiculous. And of course she doesn't remember those early weeks.

So try not to worry or stress, just be kind to yourself & soon you'll be with your LO

I hated being pregnant too, couldn’t wait for it to be over but I absolutely adore both my kids. Please don’t worry, pregnancy can be overwhelming and not enjoying that part doesn’t mean you won’t bond with your babies x

Pregnancy is shit. I too had a textbook easy one but in hindsight hormones affect me quite badly. I basically had pmt for nine months

I didn't have a rush of love and this whole new person was a complete head fuck to be honest but she was always mine if that makes sense? More of a 'oh there you are!' kind of moment than my heart wanting to explode out my chest with love.

One thing that surprised me was how strong instincts are. Not in necessarily knowing wtf to do when they're demanding feeding/changing/cuddling but the physical emotions and bodily response to her. It was physically unbearable for me to hear her cry and not hold her or to sleep and not wake at the slightest stir.

My head wanted me to lay in till noon and maybe pop to the pub for the evening but it would have been something I would have had to force myself to do. It's weird to describe.

You will be fine, but if you're not you must tell your midwife/health visitor/GP or just confiding in anyone you feel comfortable with. Don't underestimate how much physically and emotionally pregnancy drains you, there's no shame in asking people to help you out.

Good luck!

23 weeks pregnant and unhappy. This is my third baby. Kinda planned - tried for 2years to be told I was old. I was done. My second child is ready to start school and was looking forward to earning money and providing and finding me. However it only takes once as I learned and oddly fell preg. My marriage is up and down and I feel really unhappy this time around. He's not overly supportive either. I get this urge to scream. I had a haemorrhage after the last birth and suffer incontinence now and fear c section is the only way, but not happy about that either. 😒

Meh... like you I had a super easy pregnancy, worked until 38 weeks without missing a day, was hiking the Great Wall it China at 4 months. Still hated being pregnant and hated my body not being my own. Plus after giving birth all I remember is being desperate for a proper coke, completely forgot about the baby 😂 Means nothing thorough - love my actual here now as a proper person kid just as much as the next person!

Zombie thread 🧟‍♀️