Another partner watching porn thread, aibu?

[Herewego99]

I am 8 weeks postpartum, so please be gentle.
I'm not feeling the most attractive at the moment and found my parter watching porn last night, I haven't actually said anything to him about it but i can't help but just feel so ugly and upset today at the fact he's looking at women with perfect bodies and I just feel so self conscious.
Aibu to feel like this?

You're being over sensitive
Has he always watched porn and did it always bother you?

I'm not sure if he's always watched it, I know of a few times, once when I was pregnant which also upset me too.
Maybe I am being over sensitive but I can't help how it makes me feel

I pretty much guarantee he has always watched it, you just never knew. Let him crack on, at least it gives you a rest for a while. As long as he's not touching other women this wouldn't bother me at all.

Tell him how you feel.

He should have the tact and diplomacy to pleasure himself without you walking in on him. Everyone is entitled to privacy, but the fact you have found him doing it a couple of times sounds like he is being very disrespectful to you.

I think your overreacting a bit.
I watch it, still attracted to my DH!
Many people watch it, It doesn't mean your unattractive.

It’s perfectly okay for you to have a problem with this. Other people not having an issue with it is irrelevant. I think you need to talk to him.

Actually I dont think you are over reacting. It is reasonable to feel upset especially at this time of hormonal upheaval. Some men feel left out sexually around this time which is understandable. In my personal opinion I feel porn is both degrading to women and also to men. The messages it gives are of unrealistic sex. Without haranging him you shuld let him know quietly how you feel. If he loves you he will have some understanding. You should also give him the opportunity to tell you how he is feeling, probably best before you tell him you are hurt. Try not to let it turn in to critisism or a row

Well we have continued our sexual relationship from around 2 weeks ago, so it's not like he's deprived or anything. I think it's my own insecurities. It helps to write it down I suppose and read other people's perspectives. He's a good husband overall and no issues in the relationship but like I said its my body image at the moment that's making me upset about him looking/watching other women.
Still not sure if to bring it up to him

Don't worry yourself about it. Porn models are not as perfect as you might imagine.

You probably should mention it if your very upset as it'll probably fester and continue to bother you otherwise.
But I doubt it's due to being deprived or disliking your body or anything, he probably has no idea your upset!
Unless you think he'd react badly you probably should mention it.

You're entitled to feel how you do OP. For some people it's no big deal for others it is.

Talk to him and tell him how it makes you feel. He probably doesn't realise that it would have that effect on you. If he's understanding usually it's probably just oversight- and maybe he does think he's giving you a break!

Also remember your body is amazing. It may feel all stretched and broken but it has done an amazing thing. And it will feel like yours again soon enough. Cut it some slack!

While my logical side says it’s not a problem (I know my partner does watch porn) I can’t help but feel upset by it either so YNBU op, but having a big reaction to his face would definitely be unreasonable. At the end of the day it is a degrading business.

There’s a brilliant podcast by Dear Sugar called “porn: is it wrong?” That really helped me get my thoughts straight on it.

It may help you to talk about it (rationally) with your dp. Let him know how you feel without going off the rails and really listen to his response too.

Honestly, men just watch for the images to get themselves off quickly. They don’t think anything in particular about the pornstars they’re watching, it isn’t like he was watching and comparing to you in any way or wishing you were them. It’s easy to feel that way and I completely sympathise as it upset me when I first found out my DP watches it. Men aren’t thinking deeply about it at all though, I guarantee.

Talk to him about it and allow him to reassure you that he doesn’t give two shits about the pornstars he’s watching. Honestly, most men would not want to sleep with a pornstar.

Shocks me how normalised it is, honestly, with people making any and every excuse.

I think most women who don’t watch porn would be a lot more upset if they actually saw what their partners are watching - for the most part it’s vile and misogynistic.

If you have a relationship where you are fine with DH watching porn then that's a completely different thing. If you aren't happy with it or he is hiding it then the dishonesty would be upsetting. YANBU either about feeling body-conscious now and feeling insecure about him watching other women, I would also be very sad about this (although PPs are correct that men just like to look at anything to get off and it means nothing I'm sure).