To have never been to a baby/toddler group

[HeyThatsNotMyName]

Just that really.

My DS has everything he could possibly want to play with at home, socialises with family, friends and children at nursery and I have never had the inclination to want to go to a group.

Am I the only mum out there who hasn't been to one of these groups?

Starting to feel like I'm depriving him of something that I don't know about! Mum guilt is kicking in!

If I were to take him to one, what type of group would you recommend? He is almost 2.

Don't bother. They're for people like me who don't send their kid to nursery and don't have much in the way of family and friends locally so need to socialise their kids at the expense of their sanity and self esteem. Unless you really really love singing Wind The Bobbin Up whilst preventing that toddler from hitting your child with a tambourine.

Me neither! My DH would take them on his day off but I couldn’t think of anything less appealing! Both went to nursery at 8 months. They didn’t miss out and I piked hanging out with them or going to the park or just out for massive long walks with the pram. Am not very sociable to be fair

Liked not piked

Whatever works for you both. I think they can be helpful for socialising but if he attends nursery/sees extended family then no need on that front.

I went to a few because I wanted to meet new people to hang out with. It really paid off, but I had to put the effort in to talk to other parents. Some are better than others.

Muddy is absolutely right about there being THAT toddler that needs careful avoidance so yours isn't battered

I think as he goes to nursery he gets the interaction there so you don’t need to worry about the groups tbh.

Mine don’t go to nursery and they do get taken to 2 groups a week, 1 is rhyme time at the library and the second is in the village hall £2 a week and the dc just play with toys while I have a coffee and biscuit with the other mums.

No you are not alone.baby and toddler groups are my idea of hell.

They do nothing for babies, who don’t give a fuck about rhyme time. They're for parents. And they’re probably great if you like other humans and want some company, but if you don’t fancy it, just don’t do it

I went to one with my eldest as I don't have many local friends. Sat on my own while not one other parent spoke to me. I did try several times, but they were all happy with their already established groups. It felt like school again. I seriously wouldn't bother if I was you

YANBU, some people find them useful whilst others don't.

I didn't with my first as he was in nursery from 11 months so he had a chance to socialise and was happy enough to potter around with me when we had the chance.

My second was different, I was made redundant then decided to take time out of work when she was 9 months old and she was seriously clingy so needed that chance to socialise.

I enjoyed them and made a friend who I am still friends with. But I'm happy to just sit quietly, drink tea, make the usual small talk and not bother if I'm liked. I can't stay in the house though, drives me crazy!

Each to their own, I've got loads round me, some are friendlier and better than others.

I take dd to two a week on my days off but probably wouldn't bother if we knew more people with kids her age or had family in the area. I'm thinking of starting her for a couple of sessions at nursery soon and that'll probably be the end of them to be honest.

If you feel he's sufficiently stimulated and happy don't worry about it and save your cash for when he starts asking for particular lessons in something!

I went to one twice a week from when DS1 was 6 months old. Met other parents who turned out to be some of the same parents I was stood outside the school gates with a few years later.

But they aren't compulsory.

I’m a nanny and I take the little one I look after to one nearly every day. Some are nice. Some are my idea of hell - kids that aren’t watched, wiped or changed so everything smells and is sticky or broken. Kids pushing and biting. Literally watched one kid smash another repeatedly over the head with a toy train and the mother didn’t show up for at least a minute. You get the nice mums but you also get the horrible ones. I’m not sure how many I’ll take my kids to when I have my own.

I go because they keep me sane. My DD is an extremely high needs baby and needs constant stimulation of new things, new toys and new environments or screams all day. If they were more chilled I wouldn't need to go to so many, but equally I need adult interaction so they help me not get cabin fever before I go back to work.

Yanbu. If I had any family or friends nearby, I wouldn’t bother either! They’re a total lifeline for me though, or were when dd was at home with me all the time (now at pre-school).

We have a couple that we do that are really nice (small village one and an outdoor one run by the local children's centre). There are also a few we have tried and will never, ever return to.

DS is a much happier boy for a trip out and it's nice to have a small, inconsequential chat. Horses for courses though. If they're not your thing, fair enough.

I used to go with DD1 as I lived away from family, since back near family and more DC I've never been.

Ofcourse your not the only one. I have never been to one and have 4 kids. They didn't go to nursery either. I heard too many negative things about baby groups which is why I've never been

Go if you want to, don’t if you don’t. I have been going to baby groups since my eldest was born 3.5 years ago. We have a couple in the village and they fall on my days off work. It’s nice now as she has a group of same age children who she likes playing with and she often knows someone at the park. I have made good friends too.

It has been a lifeline for me as I didn’t know anyone local and it has been great to create a network. A baby group mum took my daughter to a party today so I could stay at home with my baby while he napped. If you already have people around you or if you don’t feel you need it then I wouldn’t bother.

I take DD (7 months) to one a few times a week. I enjoy them though.

I think it’s fine. They are a great resource but not necessary, especially when your child goes to nursery anyway.

I took DS to lots because he gets bored in the house. He goes to a childminder 3 days a week and on my 2 days off we do a group on each day, plus an activity on Saturday mornings. I need the routine, he likes running round chasing people and it’s gets us out of the house.

He hates the pushchair so can’t do long walks. He has toys at home but gets fed up with them and I don’t like having to clear up all the time from messy play!

I didn’t mean necessary. I mean obligatory.

I did baby groups with my eldest until he was 10 months and I went back to work. It got me out of the house but mostly I went to the breastfeeding groups only.

Second child never went to a single one. We didn’t miss it!

“socialises with family, friends and children at nursery”

Like MuddyForestWalks I didn’t have any of those options so I did take DD to toddler group. Clearly you don’t need to go so don’t.

Yanbu at all, they're not necessary. In my case however they were a bit of a saviour for me as I always found it difficult being cooped up inside with smalls and wanted to get out and about with them, as well as meet other mums.