To feel like I've wasted my degree

[pinklady3586847]

I've got a law degree however I have never done anything with it. I'm not a confident person and looking back I really question why I chose to do it. I was only 18 at the time and it was a subject I was good at at a level. I always remember someone telling me my confidence would come at uni. It never did. If anything being on the course with other very confident people who were effectively competition I realised the legal world was not for me. Maybe I should have left but I was already up to my eyeballs in student debt and felt ashamed.
Fast forward 15 years I never really even got a graduate job. I have got a fairly well paid job so can't complain. Also this job has been very flexible so much so that me and DH have spent the last few years being able to travel. So I can't complain in that factor. Now also have DS and only work part time.
Sorry for rambling I am getting to the AIBU just wanted to explain the full situation. Basically AIBU to feel like I have wasted a good opportunity? (My degree). I would be embarrassed to admit this to any of my uni friends and have never told them what I do as a career. Also I know most of them earn considerably more than I do esp now I'm part time. Admitted this to a friend recently who pointed out I would never been able to travel the way I have and would legal firms really allow me to go part time now I have DS( Not sure on the second question). I think the reason I feel like this is because I want the best for DS and maybe I could have with more money. However I know it isn't all about money and I definitely would not want to work full time now I have DS.

Not you're not being unreasonable.
But you haven't wasted it, itbhas provided a good job that lets you be with your husband and child. Law opens so many doors.

Are you happy with pt work, ds and travel?

To me, that sounds like success.

Life is not about work. Don’t use others as a measure stick for your own happiness. Are you motivated by a desire to have a law career? It sounds to me like you life your life and are happy. Nothing can buy that.

With a few exceptions (like medicine) a first degree is really just about showing you can function at a certain academic level - for probably the majority of degrees the subject is rather irrelevant.
Obviously you’re not going to be a physicist if you have a degree in art history or a medic if you have a degree in chemical engineering (unless you retrain) but for most arts/humanities type degrees it’s nasically about hitting a certain level of literacy and ability that says to an employer that you can work at that level,

Are you happy? That’s the main thing. I did a business degree in the 90s from a v good university- I then spent 3 years travelling, 5 years in crappy admin jobs, then had children and have only worked part time in a job I don’t even need a GCSE for since. I’m happy as they come and couldn’t care less. Don’t define yourself by what you haven’t done - being able to travel and have children is a blessing.

I repeat what everyone else has said!

Also, I read on here once that no-one cares about your career except for you. Everyone else you know only cares about whether you are happy, fulfilled, have enough cash for rent/mortgage etc.

Thanks everyone I am very happy that I work part time, love travel and DS is definitely a blessing. I suppose I am going to sound very materialistic here but it must just about the money. Obviously if I had gone down the legal route I would probably have much more. But would I be happier? I very much doubt it. I ran into a uni friend afew weeks ago and was very vague with her about what I did. I questioned myself why was I ashamed.

You're in a well-paid job that you enjoy, which gives you chance to travel and go part-time to spend time with your children?

You have literally nothing to be embarrassed about, ashamed of, or feel guilty for. You're doing great.

I doubt you'd be happier had you gone down the legal route. I am a lawyer and hate it. I too, did a law degree. I had really wanted to do psychology but my dad talked me out of it (think that subject wasn't as well regarded back then. I then mindlessly did LPC, training contract, worked for years, not because it was the right thing for me, but because I was on a bit of a hamster wheel.

Made partner at 33. Worked every hour god sent for the next few years, lost some of my hair, suffered panic and anxiety attacks, IBS, was ill all the time. Eventually met my OH a 36 and realised how miserable I was.

Quit and now work 4 days a week effectively in house. Earning less, happier than I was but still not happier. Can't quit though as now pregnant with my first, almost 40 and we need the money.

don't worry about the money - I have friends who LOVE being a lawyer so for them, its fine. But no amount of money is worth being miserable.

I'd love to re-train but just can't. So at least I only have 4 days of (mild) torture a week now.

Being happy is the most important thing, and you are. Money is just money. x

You’re an educated person with a job you enjoy and a work/life balance that works for you. That’s a success by anyone’s standards.

If you want to pursue a subject and then use what you’ve learned you can always do so later on like Margaret from The Apprentice. She was in her 60s doing a PhD.

I have a law degree too (2:1 from RG uni) and I have never practiced law.

BUT. My degree has opened doors for me and allowed to command higher fees for my freelance work. It's been the single best thing which has benefited my career (I work in a very, very competitive sphere). Just mentioning a law degree shows -

• intelligence
• commitment
• an ability to work hard

So just because you haven't gone down the legal route, it doesn't mean that you've wasted your degree at all. I certainly don't regard mine as wasted!

Oh I mention my grade and Uni to show that I didn't get a shit grade at a shit Uni and that's why I didn't become a lawyer!! I had a place on the LPC but didn't take it up).

Just because

Sorry for the typos - I'm using my phone. And I have no idea why there's a random just because at the end!

What about taking up a new project of your own to stretch yourself and perhaps increase your potential earnings? Think they call it a side hustle these days...

I ran into a uni friend afew weeks ago and was very vague with her about what I did. I questioned myself why was I ashamed. I found it useful to have a one sentence "CV" that I use when newly introduced people ask what I do. After all, they want to know who you are, not who you are not. In your case, who you are is someone who travels, and your flexible job, and that you earn enough without having to work full time, is what allows you to do this. Rehearse the positive statement so it flows easily when someone asks you the question. It's just as true as the negative statement of "I'm a law graduate but not using my degree, and although it'll feel a bit of an intellectual game at the moment, eventually you'll start looking at yourself in a more positive light.

I know several lawyers. They work the longest hours of anyone I know. They sacrifice family time. They do get paid vast amounts, but seem to have to spend it on enabling the life they life: gardeners, cleaners, nannies, organic ready meals etc. Personally, I;d rather look after my own kids, cook my own food and have more time to myself.

Your degree isn't wasted, as it trained your mind to clear and careful thought which can be applied in life as well as in work.

Several people close to me (family and friends) trained in law and got out. They are among the happiest, sanest people I know. maybe you are one of them

Most of my friends are law grads and bar one none of them went into legal practice. It’s one of those ‘professional’ degrees everyone knows doesn’t always result in lawyers (another being accountancy - most accountants I know are maths or comp sci grads with ACCA professional qualifications) and so you have nothing to be ashamed of!

A law degree isn’t a vocational qualification, it’s just an undergrad degree like any other. Would you feel like you’d wasted something if you’d studied History or Maths? I did a law degree and went into law, but people from my course went into teaching, marketing, accountancy, journalism, one of my uni friends works for a department store call centre.

You say you have a fairly well paid job which has allowed you flexibility to travel and let you work part time so you can spend more time with your DS. It sounds like you’ve done pretty well at building a lovely life for yourself!

Also keep in mind that not everyone who goes into law ends up making megabucks - there are thousands of solicitors in high street practices not making (what mumsnet would consider!) big salaries.

FWIW I am a solicitor (at a large commercial firm, not in London), recently went back part time after having my first child and I’m struggling. It’s not an easy job to do part time, or to take time off from - before I had a kid I would always be available by email and on my work mobile on days off and on holiday. I make decent money but not a fortune, especially not for the hours I work.

I know several lawyers. They work the longest hours of anyone I know. They sacrifice family time. They do get paid vast amounts, but seem to have to spend it on enabling the life they life: gardeners, cleaners, nannies, organic ready meals etc. Personally, I;d rather look after my own kids, cook my own food and have more time to myself

This - yes. Most of the lawyers I know (who earn far more than me/I ever did) have to have nannies etc as they are always at work. It does become one of those situations - the more you earn the more you spend (or need to spend). I agree, I'd rather have time with kids (when he gets here!) which is another reason I've taken a step back.

FWIW I am a solicitor (at a large commercial firm, not in London), recently went back part time after having my first child and I’m struggling. It’s not an easy job to do part time, or to take time off from - before I had a kid I would always be available by email and on my work mobile on days off and on holiday. I make decent money but not a fortune, especially not for the hours I work.

Agree with this also - if you're a lawyer you do have to give your all to clients and be available at all times (which is why I worked every hour god sent when I was a partner) but the pay doesn't ever really compensate for what you give up. To the person who posted this: you have my sympathies, it's so hard. Again, another reason why I am kinda in house these days - but I do earn a lot less than my peers as a result