Making Society responsible for Abusive Behaviour

[WonderWhale]

Basically, a group of drunk men commented on the size of a larger woman's feet on public transport. The woman then "slow clapped" the men and told them without their stellar they probably wouldn't have been so brave (or similar).

Does society (ie the rest of the people on the public transport) have a duty to:

1. Get involved violently against these men
2. Get involved by speaking up against these men
3. Get involved by speaking up in support of the woman
4. Is it acceptable that they decide to ignore the behaviour of both parties.

And, who is responsible for the drunk men's behaviour - society or themselves?

I don't think people have to get involved but it would be nice if they did. I was verbally abused by a drunk man on the bus for about 15 minutes (my whole journey) infront of my kids. He was calling me all the names under the sun. Not one person got involved. Ime people don't get involved as they would rather it happen to someone else.

People also don't get involved because of fear. If something awful is happening in front of you, your instincts take over and decide for you what you're going to do without you even consciously realising it.

Society and the men are responsible. Society for teaching men and boys that commenting on women's bodies and looks is acceptable, the men for choosing to behave like dicks.

Ideally you'd hope that those around would get involved and make those men feel as small and pathetic as they'd attempted to make the woman feel. In reality the people around have been conditioned not to intervene for fear of the drunk men turning on them.

I think option 3, myself. It would be unwise to jump in with a put down towards a group of drunk men; could backfire and turn nasty. Better to speak up in defence of the woman, if possible. I have been verbally abused and even threatened with physical harm on public transport for being fat and having an invisible disability. I wish someone had spoken up but everyone else on the bus just looked away.

The individuals are responsible for their own actions.

I don’t think other people should get involved.

What would it achieve?

They abused her - she dealt with it

The men were responsible for being abusive.

The woman was brave IMO. It would have been good for fellow passengers to speak up, but understandable that they didn’t.

Groups of drunk men can act in threatening ways. Was on a night tube recently and my friend was harassed by two men, she used “humour” to defuse it but it was scary.

The only people guilty are those who engaged in the abuse. Inaction doesn't mean support. If you get involved, you have to expect a verbal or physical reaction against you.

It's the bystander effect. The more people around the less people are likely to get involved.

I have heard too many stories about someone jumping in to defend someone else only to end up badly injured, even dead on some cases.
So no, I wouldn't intervene myself. I would call for help though (train guard, police...).