To wonder how I can live a normal life ...

[socl]

I’ve gained a lot of weight and I need to shift 7 stone.

That’s a lot, I know.

It’s brought with it a variety of problems. Mainly related to clothing. I just don’t know what to wear on a day to day basis. I live in leggings and tops and it looks awful. If there’s a social event I often say I can’t go because I have no clothes. It took a long time for me to get a coat.

I don’t have much money either.

What do other plus sized women do

I'm not plus size, but have you tried charity shops? I find that you can often get some really good stuff in there for a pittance - evening wear and "nice" clothes in particular as it's the sort of thing that people don't tend to wear out! My most recent victory was a barely worn Miss Selfridge top for £3!

What about a shawl (can't spell) type thing that you can wrap around yourself. They look very glamorous to me with some nice earings and lipstick

Obviously I meant to ask what dress size are you? ( grr at phone keyboard)

( And the misspelled post didn't even post.)

There are lots of blogs by fabulous plus size women. There was a thread about them recently. I don't know any myself. Check out pictures of Ashley Graham who is gorgeous (although flattish stomach)

20/22

Charity shops are hopeless to be honest. Shawls are a good idea.

I find a lot of big women are taller and better proportioned than me.

what shape are you op? Pear? apple? inverted triangle? hourglass?

Also, see if you can get this moved to the style & beaury board. Lots of help there.

I hear you. I'm still carrying my baby weight, and my youngest was 4 in March :-/ I also have very little to wear because I don't want to "waste" money on buying bigger clothes- as I live in a state of perpetual hope that all the weight will fall off if I just eat salad for a week or two.

You can get the odd bargain in charity shops, but they tend to be few and far between in bigger sizes.

Maybe set aside a bit of time and money now, and buy one nice neutral colour dress that you can have on standby for any smarter occasions. Velvet skater dresses are very forgiving- but I appreciate not everyone likes to dress like a fat 90s hangover.

Look at vintage 50s dresses too if that's your taste. They quite often look better on a fuller figure.

I get that you are feeling down on yourself but to say that there's nothing to wear in your size is being a bit defeatist, 20/22 isn't impossible to find.

Sainsbury Tu range goes to a 24, it's cheap to start with and they often have 25% off or stuff on sale. Same goes for Asda George and Primark.

Dorothy Perkins do 20/22, Monsoon does, Boden does. M&S definitely do and so do most of the in-house ranges in Debenhams.

I think your best bet is to go to somewhere like Debenhams and just try on a load of stuff, find the style you like and then look at eBay if you can't afford it full price.

If you like big skirted dresses hit ebay for Praslin dresses. If you like surfer-y style then Debenhams Mantaray might be what you like.

Smart casual stuff is M&S weekend or Autograph etc.

But you need to believe you're worth nice clothes or else you'll just be in a grump and nothing will do.

I'm not large but didn’t want to read and run.

When you do buy some new clothes, and I realise that with money tight you might only buy one new item every 6 months, buy classic pieces that will form a capsule wardrobe.

So for instance, you buy a navy skirt, next purchase is a white shirt style blouse that goes well with the skirt, next purchase is a blazer, next a white t-shirt, then some jeans, all of your items can be mixed and matched because they are all blue and white iykwim.

Obviously I’m not saying buy blue if you’re a redhead that loves to wear green or even a green head that loves to wear red, I’m saying buy staple items that go together with all your other staples.

There are articles online about forming a capsule wardrobe.
Also, I saw Joe Brand get a makeover from Gok Wan and he said for her shape and build the most important clothes were structured underwear, so maybe invest in that too when finances allow.

If you feel good, you’ll look great, so you rock that new outfit once you get it 💐

OP I am 20/22 to be comfortable (sometimes an 18 depending on the cut)

I wear mostly Evans and M&S. Matalan is OK for Basics.
However, if you need a bigger bra size and you can possibly afford it, I would recommend going to somewhere like Bravissimo and getting a couple of really good, well fitting bras. It makes you feel better to be in the right size, quality bra. Your posture will be better and you will look slimmer. (I was doubtful but it worked for me)

My friend is in a similar position to you as she needs to lose about 5 stones. These are the things that she's doing to help lose weight:

• follows the Dr. Michael Mosley Blood sugar diet. Google it, it's recommended by loads of people.

• uses a child's dinner plate so she's eating smaller portions. If she's eating out, she'll order a child's meal or a starter instead of a main and fruit salad for a pudding.

• she signed up to a John Lewis stylist session and they've suggested loads of styles that suit her changing body shape. There's no obligation to buy but it'll give you lots of ideas as to what suits you so you're less likely to make expensive mistakes.
  www.johnlewis.com/our-services/personal-styling

First don't put your life on hold, if you want to lose weight there is plenty advice so, as you mentioned it, I will stick to clothes. Do you wear leggings and tops because you don't know what suits you or because they are cheap?

If you can muster up the confidence Debenhams do personal shopping where they will try on styles that suit you but you don't have to buy. You could say you were going a way for a weekend so wanted ideas of casual day wear and going out wear. Have a bra fitting while you are there (or elsewhere).

If you can afford to, invest in some decent underwear, whether your dress cost £10 or £100 underwear can make it or kill it. I don't mean spanx and corsets, just underwear like sloggi or similar and a proper fitting bra makes a whole lot of difference

Size 20/22 is easy to find and you can try a lot on at home to get some ideas. Asda and Sainsbury's do cheap clothes that fit properly, no skimping and often on trend. They both have good return policies so that you can order online see what suits you and return them.

Simply Be are more expensive but they do a range of denim jeggings with lycra stretch for £20 or less. They look like jeans not leggings and give shape.

What are your good bits and which bits do you want to disguise? Its helpful to know what shape you are as people carry their weight differently. Could you invest in some heels to give you height?

Not very popular on MN but try Ebay for a cashmere/silk pashmina. I bought one recently for under a tenner and it is beautiful and drapes nicely. Infact try Ebay full stop!

Take a friend shopping with you who you trust. There's some lovely clothes out there in your size and just because you're bigger doesn't mean that you can't look good. Get the decent bra, get your hair done, revamp your make up. You can look amazing and you deserve to feel good.

Oh yes Madlizzy is right you can get free mini makeovers at the beauty counters too and then shop the cheaper brands.

Try New Look's plus size clothing. They're cheap and fashionable. You won't get stuff that is 'flattering' when there's that much weight to lose, so the trick (I find) is to look good through careful use of colour and accessories, good hair, brows, make up and manicures. Work out which part of you looks best - chest? ankles? Wrists? neck? and draw the eye there with really good pieces - shoes, bracelets, scarves or statement jewellery, gorgeous earring etc. Keep focus off the parts of you that are most affected by the weight gain, by dressing in black or navy, dark green or maroon - whatever colour suits your skin. Avoid grey, unless it's almost black charcoal. White shirts or well cut tops always look good. It looks fresh and clean and like you care how you look. Avoid baggy tee shirts and don't do what I did when I first gained weight, which was to buy loads of XXL mens tops from Primark. Nothing says "I've given up" louder than that.

Evans have some lovely bits. And there is always a decent sale section.

20/22 you aren't enormous op! You can get some really trendy stylish clothes in larger sizes, my friend is bigger than you and she wears jeggings and bright tops and nice shoes, and she has some lovely coats. I think you need someone to help you pick a few things out so you have some basics that make you feel good. Losing weight isn't easy and it can feel impossible but if you break it down you can set yourself a goal, say lose 2 stones this year and go from there.

Bravissimo is great for bras as a pp said but they also do a small range of clothing for curvy girls. If you wanted to get one nice dress or top for going out this is the place,it is expensive but I have a few items from there that I feel great in when I'm going out. They fit so well and are designed to make you appear slimmer. For me it was worth the money to have a few pieces for special occasions and besides, if you're not going out much you won't need much.

Get on the Fuller Figure Fuller Wardrobe Facebook page. You’ll get loads of ideas and pick up some bargains.

Follow plus sized bloggers on Instagram. You can wear a lot more than you think and look great. If you’re feeling happier and more confident, it’s easier to be healthy and treat yourself well.