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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To take the job or not?

18 replies

Whyarealltheusernamestaken · 07/04/2018 02:46

I’ve been informed today my boss has been demoted and I’ve been offered his job, I’ve asked for time to think. He’s very good at the day to day job but has never done any management oversight, which I have in previous roles. Would you take it? Pay rise or loyalty? Can’t help thinking if I don’t then someone else will as it will have to be filled, but is this just my guilt talking?

OP posts:

BitOfFun · 07/04/2018 02:47

Yeah, I'd take it. You have to be sensitive to him though, but you know that.

Speedy85 · 07/04/2018 02:53

Take it.

Men generally wouldn't worry about this.

Original poster

Whyarealltheusernamestaken · 07/04/2018 02:54

Yep, he’s agreed to step down, so I would now be his manager. What’s more awkward is I only started 3 months ago, he’s been with the company 7 years

OP posts:

Original poster

Whyarealltheusernamestaken · 07/04/2018 03:22

So how would you deal with the pro him people?

OP posts:

BitOfFun · 07/04/2018 03:22

It's the company's fuck up, not yours, and not his.

Original poster

Whyarealltheusernamestaken · 07/04/2018 03:35

It’s a bit his, which is awkward he’s good at some parts of the job, but I’ve bèen asked to pick up more complaints to investigate so it’s a bit mine, not sure what to do...all a bit confused!

OP posts:

whatwouldkeithRichardsdo2 · 07/04/2018 03:45

You've known him 3 months and he stepped down. Take it.

Original poster

Whyarealltheusernamestaken · 07/04/2018 03:56

so I should feel no guilt?

OP posts:

whatwouldkeithRichardsdo2 · 07/04/2018 04:02

None at all.

whatwouldkeithRichardsdo2 · 07/04/2018 04:02

None at all.

whatwouldkeithRichardsdo2 · 07/04/2018 04:04

None at all. Only thing is to remember to be sensitive to the event and him when you manage. If it isn't going to be you then there would still be a replacement.

Good luck!!!

whatwouldkeithRichardsdo2 · 07/04/2018 04:05

None at all. Only thing is to remember to be sensitive to the event and him when you manage. If it isn't going to be you then there would still be a replacement.

Good luck!!!

whatwouldkeithRichardsdo2 · 07/04/2018 04:06

Sorry about weird double post

Speedy85 · 07/04/2018 04:12

so I should feel no guilt?

Why would you feel guilt? You didn't cause his demotion. Somebody else will take the job if you don't, they are not going to change their minds and promote him back to his previous role.

Also, if you take it you will know that you can be sensitive to the fact that he has just been demoted. If someone else gets the job, they could be a dick to him about it.

Honestly, I don't see anything to feel guilty about here whatsoever. Take the job :)

5plusMeAndHim · 07/04/2018 04:53

The mum and sister may not feel lying.Theyvare probably just reporting back what he has told them

Speedy85 · 07/04/2018 05:01

5plusMeAndHim I think you might have replied to the wrong thread?

theculture · 07/04/2018 05:17

I think it would be weirder if you had worked longer with him, but in 3 months you probably haven't had many or any appraisals, he hasn't had to tell you off, you don't know each other's family etc.

If you are sensitive but matter of fact it should be ok, he has agreed to the demotion so he is probably ok(ish) with it (maybe on the same pay )

BoomBoomsCousin · 07/04/2018 05:22

I once took over from a senior who got demoted - he hadn't been my direct superior, so not quite the same, but he went from being senior to me to reporting to me. We ended up good friends and he was quite a help. He was kind of grateful to have been demoted. It's no fun having to go into work every day and know you're kind of failing.

Guilt is not the right emotion unless you've deliberately undermined him, which it doesn't sound like you have. You might be cautious though - a department with a manager whos been demoted for screwing up might be in a very difficult situation - is the company prepared to support you enough to sort it out? Did your ex-boss screw up in part because the company have unreasonable expectations/don't provide the resources or back up necessary? What will other staff be like?

If you think you can be successful in the role you should take it. If he had been your boss at numerous firms and always hired you in, you might owe him a bit of deference in a situation like this, but not if he simply hired you 3 months ago (probably while he was struggling with lots of bits of the job.

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