DH snoring is ruining our marriage

[Doraaaa]

I'm at the end of my tether.

Please someone tell me that there is some kind of cure or remedy for snoring. Loud loud horrendous snoring.

He's fit, healthy, not overweight. I don't know what to do. We haven't slept in the same bed for months and we only got married 6 months ago.

He has been to the GP who can't find anything wrong.

He's tried snoring strips. They just fall off and end up stuck to me. Then he wakes me up 5/6/7/8 times a night so I'm never getting a decent sleep.

I'm writing this after being woken up once again.

Anyone???

We've ended up in separate rooms. I wear earplugs, he uses nose strips, but the snoring is still unbearable. He can sleep through my snoring, but I can't sleep through his. So we have separate rooms with visiting rights which has saved our marriage. I'm grateful we have the space.

Video the episodes of stopping breathing. If it’s more than 10 seconds and then there’s a loud grunty gasp as he finally breathes then that’s likely to be OSA. OSA has very serious long term health consequences and you should insist on a sleep study. Waiting times are often about a year though so if you can afford a private one, go for it.

There are also sometimes surgeries that can help. As he’s not overweight, and presuming he’s not drinking heavily, he really should be referred.

Get him to do an Epworth Sleepiness scale and go back to the GP. Tell them it’s affecting your health and sleep and relationship too. Get all the info you can and go back for a referral.

If after all the tests he’s ok and just what it’s going to be, build a shed for him to sleep in 😁

IM with you all, my dh’s Is so loud you can hear across the house.

Dh also has a thing where you can hear him breathing all the time, that’s not normal is it? Sounds a bit like darth Vader but not as bad. He went to see the dr but they said he was fine

I can’t use ear plugs as I need to be able to hear the dc :(

Many years ago I turned down a marriage proposal purely because he snored like a road drill and refused to address issue by losing the six stone the doctor had advised. Apparently it was my fault it kept me awake because I refused to address my light sleeping issue.

Does he sleep n his back? I snore, but only if i'm lying on my back, if I sleep on my front or in the recovery position I don't. Worth a try if you've not already thought of this.

I'd really recommend snoremender. My DH is on his second one. Life changing.

Speak to your dentist about an anti snoring device. They position the lower jaw slightly forward stopping the tongue flopping back which causes the snoring noise.

I'm a horrendous snorer, and I have tried virtually everything going, including numerous surgeries. I appreciate it must be really frustrating, but your poor DH really can't help it.

A ENT consultant friend recommended the mandibular advancement device that a pp mentioned. I haven't tried it yet. He suggested that a dentist should fit it. The other thing he said had got quite good results in studies was playing the didgeridoo! Apparently it strengthens the muscles in the soft palate and prevents it vibrating as much. I've heard that choir singing produces similar results.

Finally, has your DH tried cutting out dairy? I think that I am slightly better when I don't eat it.

I put up with this for years. But I couldn’t take anymore. No spare rooms, so now he sleeps downstairs on lovely sofa bed.

He has conjugal visits

And the space is lovely!!

I can still hear him. Even with ear plugs sometimes! But it’s so much better.

Sleep deprivation is a killer.

You can love each other to bits, and sleep separately. You’re asleep anyway (or not if he’s snoring).

Thanks HP that's really useful.

My DHs snoring was pretty much instantly cured when he gave up all
dairy products. It was significantly affecting my life and I didn't know what we were going to do. He went to the dr about an inflamed throats and mentioned the snoring. Dr said he had a lot of pharyngeal inflammation and, after asking a few history and lifestyle questions, suggested my DH may be allergic to dairy. He was absolutely spot on. DH had never previously thought the had a problem with any food, but found that multiple issues cleared up when he quit dairy. Including the snoring. Praise the fucking lord.

We had the same problem. DH always stays up later than me anyway so he was sleeping on the sofa so I actually got some sleep as his snoring kept me awake all night. I'm a really light sleeper as it is and already wore ear plugs. We just got a bigger bed and that extra space between us while he's snoring away make all the difference!

Send him back to the GP and insist on a referral.

My DH is a really loud snorer and was referred to a sleep clinic at our local hospital because we were having to sleep separately which we didn’t like. They put him under general anaesthetic to check which type of snorer he is. There are two types: one where the soft palate vibrates and one where the jaw falls back. My husband is the second type so he had a snoring device like a gum shield made by his dentist which keeps his jaw in position, it’s amazing. The other type of snoring is helped by them scarring the soft palate with a laser which stops it vibrating. I was relieved my DH was the second type as the solution was less painful for him. Get a second opinion and ask to be referred. Tell them the sleep deprivation is making life not worth living, it’s terrible that your GP has been so unhelpful.

Have had the Boots anti snoring throat spray work utter fucking miracles in the past.

If you suspect OSA, get something done about it ASAP. It may change your and your husband's life.

I'm a 63 yr old male and have OSA myself. I'm not overweight and pretty fit but I've suffered from it since my twenties (girlfriends told me!) but I didn't get anything done until about 10 years ago. Looking back, I realise that both my parents had it too.

Getting a CPAP machine has changed my life. I'm finally getting a proper nights sleep, I'm no longer exhausted all the time and my lifelong tendency towards depression has gone. I wish I'd done something about it 40 years ago because my life would have been very different.

Can't emphasise enough how important it is you should sort this out. Your husbands life may depend on it.

Husband had adenoids removed.. not actually for snoring but cured it anyway. Good luck

Ask GP for a referral to a sleep clinic ( him not you). If he has sleep apnoea he may need a CPAP machine.
OH uses one due to genetic condition meaning he has soft palate deformation and no uvula. Without it he snores to wake the dead.
I still wear ear plugs because of the machine noise, but to be fair it's white noise so at not bother a lot of people, I just can't sleep without complete silence.
Plugs would not block out the snoring though!

I also recommend anti snore pillows, if pressed down firmly enough. Particularly if you keep the plastic wrapper on...

weeds I might try that one
In the meantime, dh uses puranox anti snoring throat spray. Doesn't stop snoring completely, but it's sooo much quieter and reduced in frequency.

Definitely get back to the Drs, see a different one, and push for a referral.

Do any of these apply?

*Stops breathing then does a big snorty gaspy thing?
*Can fall asleep anywhere, any time?
*Always tired
*Grumpy/depressed/lazy.

My OH has had Severe Obstructive Sleep Apnea all the time I have known him but only finally gave in and went to the Drs about it 2 years ago..

He was stopping breathing and waking up many times in the night (shocking amount, serious shizzle!), his depression is in fact sleep deprivation, his grumpy mood and idle nature are in fact, sleep deprivation!

He has a CPAP and also needs a chin strap to strap his gob shut, to sleep without his hand forcing his jaw open, and on a flattish pillow to keep the alignment of his spine/neck correct.

Do whatever it takes to get him seen and sorted out, it is life threatening and the knock on effect of sleep deprivation for you both is awful and relationship wrecking!