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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that a garage proprietor might not speak to a male customer like that?

10 replies

Eleanor1066 · 06/04/2018 19:18

Today experienced a lot of verbal aggression from our regular garage where car was being serviced when I rang to ask about progress and likely cost.

Everything from car being brought in at the last minute (not sure what that was about - was happy to wait for it) to everytime DH or I rang (twice) work had to stop to answer the phone, several "As I've already told your DH "; people in front of us and we have to take our turn (we never protested about that); they were waiting for parts (when in fact they weren't, they'd already arrived) and, in answer to a question about the name of the person I was speaking to, "It doesn't matter what my name is. Bye bye." (puts phone down). His tone was very unpleasant, impatient and frankly aggressive.

All in the space of one reasonable call to find out when it might be ready as it was nearly closing time.

DH eventually collected car and told me that the mechanic in question (who we think is the proprietor) sort of apolgised to him - but for his gruffness towards DH, not me. And DH hadn't had what was meeted out to me - nothing like it.

We've used this garage for years. I remember this same person being very impatient when I had to call about something technical but I let that pass. But now I'm thinking that his rudeness to me today makes me wonder how in general he speaks to women as oppossed to men and whether we should continue using this garage. I'm sure the mechanics are very busy, that their job is stressful but we certainly aren't demanding or unpleasant customers. Far from it. Yet the verbal lashing I got was quite something - had to be heard to be believed.

Maybe a letter gently pointing out that this was no way to speak to courteous (and loyal up to now) customers?

OP posts:
Thistlebelle · 06/04/2018 19:20

I would just vote with my feet.

KittTheCar · 06/04/2018 19:22

Agree -

Walk. You are a paying customer, they are not giving you decent service. It's a pain with garages to find a decent one but I wouldn't put up with that.

Pengggwn · 06/04/2018 19:22

I'd write a letter pointing out that we will be taking our business elsewhere and why, because I was sure he wouldn't speak to a male customer like that, and actually he shouldn't be speaking to anyone like that. And I'd send it to the owner. If he is the owner, more fool him.

Scentofwater · 06/04/2018 19:23

If you complain then you definitely must never use them again, how could you have any confidence they wouldn’t take their frustrations out on your car?

I’d never go back tbh.

KittTheCar · 06/04/2018 19:23

This sort of thing is why so many women get their dads / dh / brothers to deal with car stuff.

There was also a study which found that in most parts of the country garages charged women more than men for the same work.

LimonViola · 06/04/2018 19:23

Sounds disgusting, but I wouldn't read any more into it than he was a knob to you (you don't know why that is or what he's like with other people of either gender).

If it's a chain I'd write to the head office tbh to ensure they know how he's treating customers. Even if it's an independent I'd do the same to the owner. And never go back.

I'd keep it factual though and not make any accusations re sexism. He hasn't said anything inappropriate or sexual to you and you have no idea why he was like that with you.

Eleanor1066 · 06/04/2018 19:35

This is good advice. Take custom elsewhere, write a note (it's an independent) and perhaps, as Limon suggests, not go too far down a gender discrimination route (though I do think that played a part). I'd rather write in than write bad web reviews, especially as this is an independent and we have enough chains in the town as it is. Thanks, all.

OP posts:
nocake · 06/04/2018 22:10

Foxychoice.com lists garages that are female friendly. The one we use is listed and they treat both of us exactly the same, with courtesy and fair prices.

PlagiarismAndTheCuckoo · 06/04/2018 22:24

Nobody should be spoken to like that, male or female.

I would definitely move garages and probably write and say why.

I would probably focus more on the rudeness itself than on the reasons for it. It certainly sounds like sexism - but the sexism is deniable, whereas the rudeness is an undeniable fact.

I'm kind of torn on this, though. I do think that this kind of sexist crap needs calling out if possible. So maybe you could emphasise that their rudeness to you was noticeably worse than their rudeness to your husband?

Sorry for this rather confused post!

Foxyloxy1plus1 · 06/04/2018 22:56

I am so fed up with the non customer service at my garage, that I refuse to go there again, despite having a year to go on a service plan. They are a bunch of misogynists, who are incapable of communicating with a female and it appears that they don’t want my custom, so they’re not getting it any more.

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