To ask how you would deal with this - work related.

[muz2017]

If you knew someone at work had bitched about you, how would approach it? Especially if you considered that person to be a friend?

I saw a Whatsapp conversation between her and another colleague about something I did yesterday that they didn't like. I went for an offsite lunch meeting with an external consultant ( who no one likes) and they didn't like it, asking me why I didn't have a meeting in the office instead. We work in a flexible environment and I know our boss wouldn't mind. I made sure I was quick, and we were back within 45 minutes. I did this because I wanted to discuss things with the consultant for her to work on when we came back into the office, as I knew I would be busy covering for so-called 'friend' as she had the afternoon off work.

I saw the Whatsapp conversation because I went to help one of my colleagues at her desk and the conversation was open on her phone so I could clearly read it.

For background, I work in a small company, run by women and 2/3rds women so can be quite bitchy at times.

I have been told that the boss only likes me because I make her look good. I work in marketing so it's my job to do that, right?

Feel quite hurt as I considered that person a friend and I'm p!ssed off that they are questioning my movements and decisions. I am a 39 yr old professional woman, fgs!

Shall I just keep my head down and get on with things and keep my distance as I know they are b!tchy?

Ignore her from now on, obviously still chat in a professional way about things that need discussing, Be they work related or just a Good Morning, How was your weekend kinda way.

At least you know what she really thinks of you, she doesn’t know you know this, so use it to your advantage. You are colleagues not friends, so treat her as a colleague rather than a friend from now on.

It’s an unwritten rule that every work environment has the ‘office bitch’ at least you know who it is in your workplace.

I work ina 95% female environment and it is not bitchy in the slightest. Unfortunately, if you read/overhear conversations not intended for you, you can get hurt. Shrug it off, as you say, you are a 39 yo woman working in a professional environment. Don’t let yourself fall into schoolgirl behaviour.

TheJoyOfSox - TBH I knew she was bitchy anyway, so should’ve known I wouldn’t have been exempt!

Lesson has been learnt.

JackietheBackie - very true and good advice. Thank you.

They disagreed with your decision and questioned your motives for taking the meeting offsite. Neither of those are bitchy.
You don't need to explain your decisions to them. You may choose to do so for reasons of office harmony.
However, as a stranger on the internet, your explanation didn't actually explain why you couldn't have briefed the consultant on-site during lunch. And putting the blame on your colleague for having an afternoon off, seems a bit . . . odd.

How did you see the conversation?

However, as a stranger on the internet, your explanation didn't actually explain why you couldn't have briefed the consultant on-site during lunch.

• I could've done, I just chose not to. I chose to take her for lunch down the road and have a lunchtime meeting which is what we do every time we meet.

And putting the blame on your colleague for having an afternoon off, seems a bit . . . odd.

• I'm not blaming her for having the afternoon off, apologies if it came across that way.

Gide - i saw the conversation on a colleagues phone. I went over to her desk to help her with something and I glanced down and saw the general gist of it on her mobile.

I'm not sure I understand why your actions were either a) an issue or b) her business. Does she not have much work to do?

If she asks you about anything like this in future, I'd just reply with 'What a strange question. Why do you ask?'

Ignore the WhatsApp bitching. Again, does she not have much to do/much of a life?

I work in a small company, run by women and 2/3rds women so can be quite bitchy at times.
Stopped caring about your predicament at this point...

I work in a small company, run by women and 2/3rds women so can be quite bitchy at times.
Stopped caring about your predicament at this point...

sorry

TomRavenscroft - think youve hit the nail on the head.

Thanks everyone for your help, it's been very useful and stopped me doing something rash!

Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. They see you getting ahead of them and are trying to pull you back to what they perceive as 'their' level. Ignore it. None of their business and they know it otherwise they would have said something publicly.

You need to consider how to become less sensitive to comments like this. I see it often in a workplace with more women, that sometimes women struggle in the environment. The women who do well in any working environment are the ones focused on their tasks. I think this is also a huge factor behind men 'doing better' in the workplace compared to women.

Why do I think she left it there for you too see... think it's the perd on who owns the phone wanting to csuse trouble... no one leaves a phone open like that....
Forget it and she Will wonder why her childish ploy failed....