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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be worried about why nursery called about DS’s injury? Or overthinking?

50 replies

AveAtqueVale · 06/04/2018 10:39

DS(3) got out of bed on Tuesday night and tripped on his way into our room. Not sure what caused it- he came in, said he’d hurt his knee, but wasn’t upset and went straight back to sleep so we didn’t investigate. Wednesday morning he was limping, but said it didn’t hurt, and showed no inclination to keep off it. It looked slightly swollen and bruised but other than giving him some calpol and trying to stop him bouncing around too much I didn’t think anything of it. On Thursday morning t was better still, so DH took him to nursery as normal - explained to the lady he signed him in with, and said to call us if he was having any difficulty and I’d pick him up early. I got two phone calls from the manager within a couple of hours - the first to ask what had happened as apparently it hasn’t been passed on, and the second to say he was struggling and could I pick him up and get it checked out. I did pick him up, but he wasn’t struggling as far as I could tell - we spent a large portion of the afternoon chasing bubbles around outside - and it seemed barely swollen at all. So I didn’t take him to the doctor.

This morning I’ve had a phone call to ask how he’s getting on and ask if I’ve taken him to the doctor yet . The nursery manager is lovely but has never done this before. He’s been off a few times, including with bad tonsillitis and scarlet fever and I’ve never had a phone call to see how he’s doing. He’s had a couple of dodgy bruises lately, both on his back (one from doing a forwards roll off the bed and hitting the wall and one from falling between two stools in his aunt’s kitchen and scraping his back on one). He also informed me on Wednesday morning when I was asking about his knee that it had happened when ‘daddy pushed him off the big chair’ (which obviously is not the case as we heard it happen) and I wonder if he’s repeated that to someone at nursery. So, long-windedly, AIBU to worry they’ve now got some sort of safeguarding worries about us? I’m a bit worried!

OP posts:

Minniemannymoo · 06/04/2018 10:49

What did you say when they called about the docs this morning?

Chickychoccyegg · 06/04/2018 10:55

They're probably just following their own policies, making sure there is no safe guarding issue - I'm sure as you said he's fine, but maybe get it checked at dr's to put their minds at rest?

Peppas · 06/04/2018 10:56

You should have been asked to fill in an existing injury form before leaving him at nursery explaining what happened. This is so the nursery have a record for safeguarding reasons and proof that it didn't happen in nursery.

They are probably concerned that he was limping and you hadn't sought medical advice 2 days on tbh.

Original poster

AveAtqueVale · 06/04/2018 11:10

Yes Peppa the manager did say that - she seemed annoyed with the room staff that it hadn’t been done. But I’m not sure why a limp specifically needs a doctor - especially as we know what caused it and it hasn’t just appeared iyswim, and it’s getting better. I probably will take him today just to be on the safe side with nursery but it feels like such a mad waste of a doctor’s appointment. I’m usually over-cautious and take both DC to the doctors pretty readily - I think because I’m a medical student so leap over-easily to the worst case scenario - but I’m almost 100% sure this is a non-issue minor injury from which he is rapidly recovering. And it quite annoys me that my judgement as his parent clearly means nothing to the nursery.

Have had similar when his key worker discovered we didn’t have a baby gate on our kitchen (because DS1 can open all of them, and DS2 wasn’t mobile at the time) and kept asking me about it until I said we’d put one on.

OP posts:

AjasLipstick · 06/04/2018 11:20

A limp in a small child needs a doctor because fractures are easily missed OP. If he is still limping, then a Dr would be the most sensible thing.

speakout · 06/04/2018 11:23

I would take a child with a limp to a doctor.

Nan0second · 06/04/2018 11:27

I agree with you. An improving limp does not need a doctor. I also have no safety gates on any room / stairs in my house and that is nobody else’s business.
I can see why they may follow up an injury but a well child does not need a doctor.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 06/04/2018 11:27

Have you not worked out yet that that a small child with a series of injuries in a short space of time when one causes the appearance of a limp and the parent hasnt sought medical attention tends to get early years practitioners a tad tetchy?

Sometimes some things do need at minimum a phone consultation just to stop unqualified people from being all dramatic?

ShowerGel9 · 06/04/2018 11:29

I can see why you made he choices you have made.

Nursery are doing the right thing and are just safeguarding your child.

Take him Dr's just to put an end to it all

Aloneandscared25 · 06/04/2018 11:29

Oh gosh so my 20 month daughter at the time broke her arm I didn’t notice for 4 days !! Honestly if his limping get him checked

JessicaJonesJacket · 06/04/2018 11:30

It's not necessarily that they think you caused it (if that's your safeguarding concern) but that they feel it's an injury a doctor needs to assess and they think you're being resistant to seeking appropriate care. I appreciate you're linking the limp to the fall but there can be other causes of limps in children and it's worth getting it checked out to be sure. I don't know any doctor who would consider it a waste of time to look over a small child with a limp.

mummyhaschangedhername · 06/04/2018 11:31

I am not the type of person who takes my child off to the doctors on a whim but if nursery has send my child home I would have taken him to out for hours just in case. So while I can understand not taking him, as I wouldn't given what you described, I would take him after he was sent home. Especially if the knee is still swollen, it seems cruel to have him run around chasing bubbles on a swollen joint. Take him to minor injuries, if they say it's fine then great. A swollen joint can he a sign of a more significant injury but more likely it's just swelling due to a minor twist, even still, running around on a swollen joint i can cause more pain and extend the injury so given your actions I can see why the nursery was concerned and called again.

Graphista · 06/04/2018 11:35

Bruising to backs is uncommon and is a safeguarding concern. So 2 will have concerned them.

Then add a child with a limp due to a knee injury days old that hasn't been assessed by a dr...

I'd think a LOT less of them if they WEREN'T concerned tbh.

At that age I would be concerned and have taken child to dr if they were still clearly in pain/limping the next day.

It's easy to miss more serious injury in small ones and lesser injuries they tend to recover from pretty quickly.

BertrandRussell · 06/04/2018 11:35

I can see why you have taken the course that you have.

I can also see why the nursery have taken the course they have. Without the backstory you have given us it is a pattern that would certainly send up a red flag- I’m sure you can see that. Take him to the doctor to set everyone’s mind at rest.

reallyanotherone · 06/04/2018 11:38

than giving him some calpol and trying to stop him bouncing around too much

Why would calpol stop him bouncing around? It’s more likely to do the opposite- lessen the pain so he doesn’t naturally limit his movement because it hurts...

Fundays12 · 06/04/2018 11:38

They have to follow protocol and this is considered a potential safeguarding issue. I really don’t understand why you wouldn’t take yiur child to get checked if the nursery have highlighted they are concerned. The fact you didn’t is a red flag for safeguarding. Sorry I am not having a go but I work with safeguarding children and I would be alarmed by this.

Mammyloveswine · 06/04/2018 11:38

Well if your child has said to a nursery worker "daddy pushed me off the big chair" then they will of course ring you to ask for your version of events! Im alarmed that your ds said that to you and you brushed it off. Could your dh have knocked your little boy off a chair whilst playing and that's why hes saying that?

If he's telling nursery that then that is a big safeguarding issue that should be dealt with and recorded by the safeguarding officer.

I also know that 3 year olds have wild imaginations, one i taught once told me that another teacher had tried to shoot him and then kicked him.. i was there and this obviously didn't happen.

I would go to the doctor just to be on the safe side, it also means that fir insurance purposes the nursery have it noted that the leg was checked and all ok. Otherwise they might open themselves up to safeguarding issues if a further knock on the leg were to cause more damage.

The stair gate on the kitchen could be the 3 year old constantly talking about going in the kitchen or something... my 2 year old is obsessed with the kitchen and loves to point out all the "hot" things like the cooker, kettle, iron etc. So he is obviously not allowed in there without one of us present. Has he had an accidental injury in the kitchen at all? Ive had ch in my setting clamber onto the kitchen sides at home in an eagerness to grab toast...

Nodancingshoes · 06/04/2018 11:38

They are being cautious in case there is an underlying injury. A limp on a 3 year old does really warrant a quick visit to the doctors usually I would say even if just to rule a fracture out. I doubt they think you did it but they do need to record it 'just in case'

Soubriquet · 06/04/2018 11:39

My dd was on a trampoline aged 2 when she suddenly started screaming.

She was limping the rest of that day. I let her go to bed that night and in the morning, I took her to A&E. (our minor injuries won't x Ray children under 5)

X Ray showed nothing but she was still limping, went to another hospital 2 days later that showed that actually, yes there was a fracture!

Luckily it was healing on its own and didn't need a cast.

Very difficult in little ones

Peppas · 06/04/2018 11:43

I appreciate none of us like to have our parenting questioned op but the fact is there is no one type of parent that abuses their child and no abuser is going to readily admit it.

Therefore the nursery is right to question your judgement.

A limping child with no explanation and who hasn't been seen by a medical professional is going to raise some questions. The nursery has a duty to safeguard.

turnipfarmers · 06/04/2018 11:49

A swollen knee, even slightly, can indicate a serious injury so I can understand why they have phoned you.

CheeseyToast · 06/04/2018 11:53

Well if it helps you feel better, my son's nursery called to say I needed to take him to the GP bc they'd found a tiny beetle in his nappy. Ffs. We live in the bush and there are insects everywhere. I took him home for 30min then retuned him saying GP said he was fine.

PattiStanger · 06/04/2018 11:54

I can see a case for a possible injury but why are the nursery dictating to you whether you have stairgates?

That kind of attitude would make me think they are over officious and meddling, trust your instincts about whether you need to go to the doctors, at most practices wouldn't he be better by the time you get an appointment, he would be at mine.

FirstTimeRound984 · 06/04/2018 12:24

I would take him to the doctor if just to get nursery to put the issue to bed, they obviously think there is one even if you don't necessarily.
My DS fell over and banged his chin at nursery once, bit his lip when he fell so they called me to pick him up and take him to the doctors 'to be on the safe side' I picked him up and he was fine and i didn't see a need to go dr but made an appointment anyway as i knew nursery would ask, dr said he was fine and all is well and nursery were relieved to know also as it happened under their care.
If it stops them mithering you i'd just take him, it could be something or nothing but a swallow knee could also indicate something more serious, a break or fracture etc

turnipfarmers · 06/04/2018 12:25

I think because I’m a medical student so leap over-easily to the worst case scenario - but I’m almost 100% sure this is a non-issue minor injury from which he is rapidly recovering.

They (a consultant) said that about my DD and it turned out that she needed surgery on damaged ligaments. That was a seemingly innocuous fall too.

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