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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To refuse to buy Amazon Echo for nephew 7 birthday?

93 replies

Margot88 · 05/04/2018 23:25

So I (foolishly!) asked SIL what to buy for nephew 7th birthday. Her response was to buy him an Amazon Echo Dot for his bedroom because apparently he likes talking to Alexa. I know that by asking I've created much of this situation myself, but normally the response would be to say what he's in to right now and leave it up to us to choose the exact gift - say, Star Wars theme or Spiderman as examples in previous years. My head says to just buy what his mum has asked for, but I can't quite bring myself to buy something that will encourage him to be isolated in his room and I would rather get him something that encourages hands-on play and interaction with his peers.

OP posts:
Megatron · 06/04/2018 10:39

No, how about your parents come and read you a bedtime story from an actual book so you can learn to read and shit?

Agreed. Sad day when you can't be bothered to read your own kid a story.

icclemunchy · 06/04/2018 10:46

My 7yo has one. She likes to listen. To music and audio books on it, and shock horror. We still read her a bedtime story!! Who ever would have thought it was possible to have tech that brings you pleasure without 'outsourcing ' everything to it 🙄

It was her fave birthday present, and has saved me from endless requests to play Justin bloody bieber for her. Win win if you ask me

BitOutOfPractice · 06/04/2018 10:49

Alexa doesn't replace parents reading to their kids. It's in addition. Like an audio book. I think some of you need to calm down. Alexa is an enhancement to family life. Not the end of civilisation as we know it.

Eg I message the kids (with my voice, via Alexa) to come town for their tea using Alexa rather than screaming 17 times calling up the stairs to them and them. It hearing because they've got music on

IncyWincyGrownUp · 06/04/2018 10:50

My child reads his own bedtime stories. He’s six, not sixteen months. He reads better than most of year 3 to be quite honest, so asking Alexa to tell him a joke isn’t going to fuck his phonics up.

He could ask me to play the Weird Al back catalogue of course, but my voice is poor and my mastery of the accordion is dire.

Carry on flouncing though, if you really really want to. :o

SarBear34 · 06/04/2018 10:50

When she said echo dot why didn’t you say oh we spend X amount is there anything else ?
Let them know your not going to get it so someone else can, nothing more annoying giving someone that asked an item from the birthday list and then they don’t get it! Not a problem aslong as you tell them so they can get it if they wish

Lulubellee · 06/04/2018 10:51

which, incidentally is double what we'd normally spend

This is actually a completely different AIBU then. Had you asked it like "we normally spend £10 on DN, this year they have asked for an echo" then YANBU. But specifying that you don't want to buy this item because you don't agree/like them is a different issue.

When people ask what my DC like for a gift I normally give a rough idea i.e. they are into books/trains etc. but if I saw something that was in budget and they wanted I may ask specifically. I did this with GPs who asked and DC wanted a specific DVD. Was a bit annoying when Xmas came around and they'd bought him yet another car as we would have bought it had they not have asked for a gift idea.

KC225 · 06/04/2018 10:56

I agree with the poster above who said if its the cost issue, not the actual 'dot' than buy a voucher towards it. Or team up with another family member and go twos on it.

Mightymucks · 06/04/2018 11:02

Yes, heaven forbid you walk up a flight of stairs and speak to your children or actually have a conversation with them so they aren’t sat on their own asking a computer to tell them jokes.Hmm

Besides, just because your children can read on their own doesn’t mean you should stop reading to them. Even at six and well beyond there are plenty of studies showing very clear benefits to reading to your children vs. them reading alone.

But I suppose if you’re that busy you can’t spare ten minutes at bedtime to read a couple of chapters you must be doing something incredibly important. I’m amazed you manage to find time to post on here given you’re so busy with incredibly important stuff you can’t read to your child.

Like I said. Lazy fucking parenting. And you can whinge all you want. The image of a poor six year old sitting asking a computer to tell him jokes when his parents can’t even be bothered to read to him is flipping tragic.

Whiterabbitears · 06/04/2018 11:08

I agree with mightymucks society is becoming more reliant on technology.

HoneyDragon · 06/04/2018 11:15

So when dd is upstairs at her desk drawing or writing a story and is listening to music or an audiobook I would be a better parent if I stopped what I was doing and stood in the corner of the room and sang to her/read her Skullduggary Pleasant?

Buckety · 06/04/2018 11:16

I have to say that at a point in time when we know how much of our personal data is being sold to the highest bidder that people are happy to essentially let every sound they make at home be recorded. This data will be gathered and sold whenever it's profitable. We've known for quite some time that advertisers spy on our conversations to target adverts at us. We now know that such data is being used for political campaigning.

I love the idea of the Alex/Echo/Google Home, but I'm fucked if I'm going to let mega-corporations know what time I usually take a shit and devices like these guarantee that knowledge like that will be harvested and sold to anyone who might find it financially profitable to know. Anyone with a modicum of cop on, covers their camera, turns their device microphone right down when not in use, installs monitors to alert you if they are remotely activated and uses a privacy browser extension. It's not perfect but it means that any data gathered on me is gathered with my knowledge. Having every single sound I make recorded for the sake of someone else's profit or political gain is not a life I'll ever choose for me, never mind subject my child to an entire lifetime of that kind of scrutiny.

Elementtree · 06/04/2018 11:22

What a lot of handwringing mighty. "Lazy fuck parenting" Hmm Grin

Just because something has a function doesn't mean everyone uses it, or uses it in the same manner. It doesn't mean it can't be used differently.

My kids crowd around Alexa in a pack demanding music to dance to, falling about laughing when asking jokes or asking random questions. They can call their grandma and chat with her together or play games.

None of this in reality, looks like a sad neglected lonely child a heartbeat away from an nspcc advert.

And normally this happens while I'm running around getting myself ready to get to work/ school or making dinner. The idea that the alternative to bugging Alexa is quality time with a parent is a false dichotomy. Sometimes stuff needs to happen - true story.

Ginkypig · 06/04/2018 11:23

So am I to assume that the dreaded thousand questions from kids to parents is at an end now.

"Parent"

Parent answers ask alexia.

reddressblueshoes · 06/04/2018 11:24

I actually think there are ethical issues with a child having one of those in their bedroom.

They randomly record conversation, they offer to sell you things, it's hard not to think there's an even bigger scandal a la Facebook brewing in terms of how they use their data. I think exposing children to them is pretty problematic.

Megatron · 06/04/2018 11:27

Goodness, some of the Alexa devotees are getting a little defensive. Grin

DH doesn't use his at all, nor do the DCs. I prob use it more than anyone, but I'm a lazy bastard.

Bluelady · 06/04/2018 11:30

Regardless of ethical issues, OP isn't the parent here. The person who is has asked for a gift which is more money than OP wants to spend. It's not up to anyone except the parents to decide what a child does or doesn't have. Someone else will doubtless buy it.

Elementtree · 06/04/2018 11:33

Defensive? Me?

A little, maybe. Grin With every new technology and medium brews another moral outrage. I think sometimes it's a kneejerk reaction and it only sees the harm and it doesn't credit those who use it to not have a modicum of sense.

I think we are still awaiting the demise of society from the advent of the novel...

BitOutOfPractice · 06/04/2018 11:38

The only data my dot has is me shouting "Alexa! Play radio 4 before I commit murder after listening to Jeremy Vine!" Or "Alexa what is this racket you're playing?" Or "Alexa tell ms when my rice is cooked". So I'm happy with that.

kateandme · 06/04/2018 11:40

id have to make sure I new exactly what setting it was on.ive seen articles and news bites on it keeping ,storing and sending suggestions based on some viewing history and things you ask of it.i don't know how easy this is to avoid.id want to no I deff wouldn't have that happening,nor that the little one could get caught up in something like that.

Springtrolls · 06/04/2018 11:40

Shame they weren't around when my older ones were younger. Mum whats? Mum what? Mum whats?
Some stuff I knew, some I didn't and would have educated us all if I or they could have asked a device.
Yes, we have libraries a 40-minute bus ride away and hardly helpful when they are closed. By which time although you've written the questions down, and you've got there no-one is interested in the question, never mind searching various books.

And ooh bedtime would have been a dream. Set the two girls up with the gadget to read a book whilst I try and deal with the eldest.

The music, rather than having to rewind the song again, and again, and again, just ask the thing to play the song

DannyLaRuesBestFrock · 06/04/2018 11:40

Jeez mighty!!!

Why listen to music on alexa, when you can buy a keyboard, take lessons, and write and record your own songs ffs.

I find it ludicrous that people think a fucking device is replacing a parent.

You are allowed to use technology and still be a good parent. The two things aren't mutually exclusive.

Dd never listens to stories on her dot as she enjoys reading and in fact, we have just ordered her a book to be delivered pn the alexa.

She is upstairs now doing her half term project on Stephen Hawking (her favourite scientist), whilst listening to The Greatest Showman soundtrack, whilst I preparing lunch.

Is everything so black and white with you?

DannyLaRuesBestFrock · 06/04/2018 11:41

So many typo's Blush

DannyLaRuesBestFrock · 06/04/2018 11:42

Oh and I must be a fucking awful parent, as we got our facts off wikipedia.....of the computer 😱😱😱😱

HoneyDragon · 06/04/2018 11:46

You are an awful parent; a good parent would have switched off the computer, gone to the attic and dusted off the ouja board and held a naice family seance to contact Hawkings. Frankly, you’re fucking lazy.

Bluntness100 · 06/04/2018 11:48

Is this a comment in her parenting? Or the boys social skills? Why do you think it will isolate him in his room? Most kids can do a mixture of different things, but if you think the parents will isolate the child then I doubt buying an Alexa will change that, they could throw him in there with a book or toys.

If there is no concern about her parenting or the boy himself, then buy the Alexa. Personally if you told me you think I'd allow my child to be isolated and it would stop me interacting with them our relationship would be over immediately and with no further discussion.