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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Walked out of job

48 replies

FluffySlippers21 · 05/04/2018 11:23

Hi
I AIBU I don't think I am but my partner thinks I should have just bit my tongue

I'm currently training to be a nurse at university and applied for a part time job in a nursing home to pay the bills
I have a background in care
I've been there a week and the stuff I have heard has absolutely shocked me
Young girls saying how they can't be arsed and discussing their sex life in a communal area in front of residents
Today I went in and they manhandled a resident into the shower
I picked up my bag and left the shift and have no intention of going back
Have I over reacted?

OP posts:

GrandTheftWalrus · 05/04/2018 11:25

Report them to the care commission if they are manhandling residents.

I had to do that when I was 17. Was just 1 girl that was doing it but I reported her.

EmbraceTheBattle · 05/04/2018 11:25

No you haven't. Are you going to report it?

IADBUithink · 05/04/2018 11:26

No. I used to be a carer and this is disgusting. Report to CQC. You would be a crap nurse if you did think this was okay.
It’s easy to find another job as a carer. They’re always needed. It’s rubbish pay but You’re there to help people, not discuss sex lives and abuse them.

HongKongPhooeyNo1Superstar · 05/04/2018 11:26

Report this.

KirstenRaymonde · 05/04/2018 11:26

No you weren’t wrong to leave, but you need to report them

Astella22 · 05/04/2018 11:27

Maybe you should of completed the shift so they weren't short staffed but no yanbu, I couldn't watch old vulnerable people being manhandled so I would of had the same reaction.
You should also follow up giving a full formal reason why you quit. Harder for the people who run the place to ignore written concerns.

KarmaStar · 05/04/2018 11:33

Hi OP
Imo if have reported the sexual language and the manhandling of the resident to management.
Unacceptable behaviour will continue until somebody does something.If the management failed to take action there is always cqc,the care quality commission.
When you say the person was manhandled,was he being pushed,forced?
I'd return and explain to the management that you were upset and why and go from there.
Good luck,it's good that you care so much.
Good luck with your course.

Onlyoldontheoutside · 05/04/2018 11:38

You only seem to have cared enough to type on here.If you saw all that and did nothing then you have colluded with what was done.
I know it's hard but f you really care then you have to report this,if not reconsider if you are cut out to be a nurse.

Original poster

FluffySlippers21 · 05/04/2018 11:49

How on earth have you jumped to the conclusion I only cared enough to post on here?
Short of getting in a verbal argument (and what would that solve?) with the carers what else could I have done?
I comforted the resident involved and left her with a cup of tea but I couldn't exactly pack up her bags and bring her home with me?
I'm currently writing a list of complaints to ring safeguarding with so I don't miss anything off
So far:
-shower incident
-innapropiate language in communal areas
-wheeling people through communal areas in a bed sheet to shower
-pulling people up bed with bed sheets and not slide sheets
-pulling people up in chair by putting their arms underneath (can't explain this but if you work in care you might know the move I'm referring to - it's a banned out of date move for a reason!)
Please don't imply I don't care. Of course I care

OP posts:

Lilymossflower · 05/04/2018 11:52

Not bei g unreasonable. Always stay true to yourself and what you feel is right. The job you spend your days doing is how you spend your life, it's so important !

mumonashoestring · 05/04/2018 11:57

Don't ring safeguarding - if at all possible, do it in writing and make sure you get a response from them, otherwise it's all too easy for the information to go missing or for it to be deniable.

Kualabear · 05/04/2018 12:00

Onlyoldontheoutside. Give your halo a polish - then stop jumping to conclusions about someone with a past in care and who is training to be a nurse.ffs

EmbraceTheBattle · 05/04/2018 12:02

Onlyontheoutside that was uncalled for.

Chrys2017 · 05/04/2018 12:02

Short of getting in a verbal argument (and what would that solve?) with the carers what else could I have done?

You could have reported to the authorities, and then offered to remain in the position for a time, for the purpose of gathering evidence against the offenders. (And offering what comfort you could to the affected residents of course.)

Original poster

FluffySlippers21 · 05/04/2018 12:07

Thank you for the reassurance 🌺 💐

OP posts:

IHateToCashew · 05/04/2018 12:07

OP. If it's a young girl doing that particular move, that's really concerning. That implies someone has actually taught her that's a 'safe' way to manoeuvre someone.

I have an awful feeling I know exactly which chain of homes this one belongs to I'd also contact the home manager, regional and director of nursing OP. I completely understand you not wanting to out yourself, but is it a home owned by an organisation that refers to times of year?

You weren't unreasonable at all. But I would contact at a minimum the home manager. Something needs to be actioned right away to protect the residents and the staff.

Viviennemary · 05/04/2018 12:08

If you feel residents are at risk because of the staff's behaviour then you should raise your concerns with the appropriate authorities. You can't just ignore this.

MatildaTheCat · 05/04/2018 12:09

YANBU but care standards in many residential homes are just appalling. MIL was in a very expensive nursing home for five years and I was constantly upset ( former nurse myself). Complaints were dismissed and staff never, ever accepted they were wrong.

Report to the QCC and local safeguarding team and whoever own the place but sadly it sounds fairly normal.

Original poster

FluffySlippers21 · 05/04/2018 12:10

@IHateToCashew I've never heard them refer to times of year but I'm new so it could well be! It's a well known organisation, we could very well be thinking of the same one!

Yes that's exactly what I thought regarding young girl and being taught.

OP posts:

Milliejay06 · 05/04/2018 12:14

Report it , I’m a qualified nurse and on my second shift in a nursing home I was put in charge. I thought this was bad practice and at end of shift I reported it and refused to go back.
Speak up if o was you , there are plenty of agency’s and cate jones out there .
To the others I can say op problem needed to get her voice out , as a student nurse your in a vulnerable position to actually question practice if any discription.

IHateToCashew · 05/04/2018 12:15

Sent you a PM OP. If it is hopefully I have a few people you can get in touch with to get this rectified as soon as possible. If it's not the same one, contact your home administrator. They should be able to advise you of names and numbers of the director of nursing and your regional manager.

I completely get just wanting to pick them up and take them home with you. It's utterly heartbreaking sometimes.

supersop60 · 05/04/2018 12:17

You weren't wrong to leave, but you'll be very wrong is you don't report it. Those poor residents.

ButchyRestingFace · 05/04/2018 12:18

What exactly is your AIBU, OP?

You witnessed a situation, as a medical professional in training with a care background, that you deemed to be unacceptable.

As a result, you’re compiling a list of concerns to raise with safeguarding. All well and good.

So why are you on AIBU asking whether your partner (is he a care worker? was he present?) was right in saying you should have kept schtum?

Surely you understand your duty well enough without having to seek the opinions of your partner or a bunch of randoms on MN?

Idontknowwhatithink · 05/04/2018 12:22

OP Write your list of concerns, call the home and ask to speak to whomever is most senior, ask for a meeting and inform them that you walked out because you were appalled by what you witnessed and will be reporting so you wish to speak to them before you go ahead with your report - they will take you seriously!

Have your meeting.

Afterwards follow up with a letter stating ' Further to the meeting we had on XX (Date) concerning what I regard to be safeguarding issues', list your areas of concern and at the bottom of the letter state you will be reporting the incident/s you witnessed and your concerns.

And don't be swayed in to not reporting - you must!

Tomselleckhaskindeyes · 05/04/2018 12:27

Make the calls OP. My job is to judge standards in care homes and I would have done the same also.

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