AIBU or is my friend?

[Usemyshortname]

I've NC...I have a first name that I have shortened and used for a very long time 18+years! I HATE my first name.

Eg. Katherine to Katie

One of my friends insists on calling me by my full first name. I have corrected her a number of times but she still calls it me and says it's difficult for her to remember my short name as she's always known me by my full first name...throughout secondary school...I changed it at college.

1. I HATE my full first name for many reasons and have told her the reasons.

1. I just don't call myself it and nobody else does apart from her and her DH...I've asked/told him too but he says it's hard as she's only ever referred to me by that name (newly together). When she introduced me as Katherine I just said "o call me Katie please" Thinking ah that's easy...he kept calling me Katie but since after that night calls me Katherine.

1. She hates her full name herself and only uses her short name so you'd think she would get it!

I've tried correcting her EVERY time and she ignores it...I have tried ignoring her and not answered but then it gets awkward between us and I just give in and answer or not correct her...she said I need to reclaim my full name as it's a beautiful name but quite simply I don't want to as I like my short name that is relevant to my first name... It's getting to a point where it's really starting to grate on me and not want to see her anymore. I have other friends from Secondary who call me by my shortened first name no problem.

To be fair she has tried a few times to call me by my short name but then reverts to calling me by my full first name.

I do use my full first name for interviews, formal stuff etc but 99% of the time it's my shortened name.

Am AIBU that she should call me by my name short name as requested over the last 18+years?

YEP you need to start calling HER by her full name, and introduce her to people as her full name.

My SIL is the opposite. She HATES her (rather long) first name being shortened ... EG, her name is Geraldine and people call her Geri or Jezza. Or Elizabeth, and people say LIZ.

ALSO someone I knew from school, kept mis-spelling my first name on Christmas cards and birthday cards. (so like if I was Mandy, she kept putting Mandie. I've never spelt it this way!) She also kept putting my MAIDEN name, even though I had been married 17 years at the time!

So I got her back.

HER name was Linda Jefferson and I sent her a card addressed to Lynda Partridge.

This was 5 years ago. Never heard from her since. Weird. I only did what SHE had been doing for YEARS!

Everytime she says your full name, respond with hers.

Her: "oh Katherine, did you see x on facebook?"
You: "Yes Prunella, i did."

@Cleanermaidcook no she wasn't one of the bullies...there's no way I'd be friends with them! I went back to my home town a few years ago and saw a few of them whilst out having a coffee...they hadn't changed one bit!! Sniggering, whispering but making it really obvious, staring etc...I just thought o dear and left. They clearly hadn't grown up and moved on sad thing was they had their kids with them so they will most likely install that behaviour into them!

@sonjadog yes she can get quite powertrippy

@troodiedoo I love the idea of a badge that is very funny i'm actually considering that!

I would completely ignore her every time she used the wrong name. When she struggles to get your attention, look around innocently and say “sorry, I didn’t realise you was talking to me” if she looks puzzled you can further explain that she has known you long enough to know you are Katie.

@summercat & @TheViceOfReason

Angry and defensive, eh? So she's a rude thin skinned cow? Let her get angry. She is being rude. You can be rude back.

I would go with a sharp "FFS Janice, call me Mave not Mavis." then there would be mockery if she persisted "Memory fading again Janice? It's M-A-V-E, not that hard!"

I agree that you are past the petty/small hints stage. She has moved into being a cow deliberately stage. Call her out briefly and sharply each time. Your other friends will see that it really bothers you. There might be some eyebrow raising but your friend will look like a right dick if she persists.

Thanks all I honestly thought I was being unreasonable!

I'm going to say it very clearly next time we meet up and go along the lines of @sonjadog and others that have advised similar seen as I came very close to losing it yesterday!

She's being unreasonable and a bit of a dick

I would honestly go for the big guns the next time she does it and make it an issue. If she does it I would honestly throw every tot out the pram by saying my name is ‘insert correct name’ get in touch with me when our years of friendship mean you value me enough to get my name right then I would walk away from what ever event I was at and refuse to see her for at least a fortnight. Diva it up. You’ve tried everything else. Throw a grenade at her. It obviously upsets you enough that you can’t let it go.

I'm the opposite of you, in that I do not want my name shortened, so my stock reply now is "If you don't know my name by now you can call me Ms".

And I ignore anyone that shortens my name.

Hope your "friend" comes to her senses a bit sharpish.

I haven't used any real names by the way!!!

One of our friends is like you he hates Jon and prefers Jonathon...in my book not a problem I've always called him what he wanted (although one time called him something else-w**nker... when we were out on a night out and he got about touchy feely not had to call him anything else but his preferred name since )

Neither have I @summercat

I changed my first name completely in my late teens, did it by deed poll. I had never been called my birth name and I had a nickname/pet name from my family.

At first I had to correct people, but everyone, my parents, my siblings, all my friends call me by my new name and have done for years.

It is bollocks to say that it because she has known you as that name. My parents have known me the longest and still manage my new name - over 25 years on.

One person tries to call me by my old name but I know the reason is she is an attention seeking bitch so I completely ignore her (family connection, only exposed to her once a year.) Joke being she is a teacher so can remember the name of 30 children every year.

I spent over 20 years calling my DSis a particular derivative of her full name: when she was in her early 20s she asked to be called a different shortned version: I occasionally got it wrong, but got used to it quickly and if I forgot, would correct myself. it's not difficult, so YANBU to expect a friend to do as you have asked. It's strange that a 'friend' would knowlingly continue to do something that upsets you.