To be really annoyed with him about this?

[Shockaholic]

I'm currently, unexpectedly, 8 weeks pregnant,it was a total shock (hence the username,name changed when found out but then didn't bother posting).

Things have been a bit rough here lately,youngest is going through some sleep phase and waking many many many times a night,or waking once and staying awake for 6 hours - no exaggeration - so I'm even more tired than usual in early pregnancy. Eventually she went from just tired and cranky to screaming the house down,so took her to GP and she had start of ear infection so got antibiotics. This was yesterday.

Now before all this I've had an extremely painful sore throat for the last few days,barely able to eat (only eating really for sake of baby), with shivers and headache and ear pain coming and going. Miserable all around so getting even less sleep,and couldn't even take lemsip due to pregnancy. DH was vaguely sympathetic,did get me drink when I went to bed early,and said last night that if I was still very bad today he could maybe get off work at lunchtime,but preferably not as he's very busy and has important people over etc etc. So I've been up as usual yesterday and today,walked elder child to camp,walked to doctor with younger children for prescription,picked up elder from camp,minded them rest of day and same today (minus her doctor visit).

Took myself to doctor today and I have tonsilitis so on antibiotics,hopefully that will clear it up soon. And now to my complaint....he's now convinced he also has tonsilitis. Moaning and shivering all evening,and says how there's no way he is going to work tomorrow if he's still this bad. Even though these important guys are still over,and he has a big meeting with them tomorrow,which there is no way he'd have missed for me if I needed him here.

I don't doubt that he might have tonsilitis (or may not) but he would not have missed important work stuff for me,and if he stays home he'll expect to be able to sleep in peace all day,and I didn't have that luxury so I kind of don't see why he should. So AIBU to want to throttle him if he stays home?

Wow sorry about the length!

YANBU. I'm happy to provide an alibi if needed OP.

YANBU but I defy anyone to find a man who:

1. Thinks you're not being overdramatic when you're ill
2. Will not be 10x as dramatic if they feel even half as bad as you do

Staying home from work because you're sick is very different to staying home because your oh is sick. First presumably renders him incapable of working. The second, really, is only possible under certain circumstances (e.g. medical emergency or sufficiently quiet at work).

Oh, meant to say, that doesn't make you unreasonable to want to throttle him. You're sick and miserable. All bets are off.

What Crisps says with bells on

Thanks,making me feel better already at least I know I'm not alone! And thanks for the offer of an alibi

Theymademe.. I know it is different leaving work because you're sick yourself,or leaving to look after your kids (which is what he would have been doing,not coming home to mind me of course!). I guess it's more the fact I have to continue on as a SAHM when I'm ill at the moment,but he will expect to stay at home and in bed if he does feel too ill. I did point out to him though that he would have to help with the kids if he stayed home,so I think it wasn't such an attractive option anymore!!

I won't actually throttle him btw,don't have the energy anyway,and he's not the worst to have around all the time. But God he's an awful patient,a worse whinger than the 2 year old

I was with you and Fifipop! (On condition favour returned )

Well of course Loyaultemilie,if we were all together then you can't have been anywhere else doing anything else.

He did stay home sick,got up and laid on couch groaning then fell asleep there while I got the kids ready and out the door for camp. Oh and he said to me there's no way he'd be able to run around like that because he feels so, so ill and can barely swallow. Yeah,me too love,but the kids still need feeding and changing and hair done and teeth brushed etc etc so I have no choice.

In all seriousness though it is another disadvantage to being a SAHM. I feel marginally better today but was like death yesterday and previous two days but had no choice but to get up and do what needed doing because we don't have childcare because I'm at home. He however,has taken the day off work,and will sleep and do precisely nothing until he feels 80-100% normal then will go back to work and work longer hours to make up for what he missed there. So I /the kids will pay twice, once when he was sick and couldn't help out or play with them, and again when he's gone for longer days back in work. Oh to be a man!!

I feel your pain. My DH is exactly the same. He works hard (sometimes) and does his share of stuff with the kids during designated hours but the moment I feel even slightly ill he declares that he isn't feeling well either and when he is ill he spends the whole day in bed, when I'm ill (rarely) he can't possibly help for even a minute because he has so much work (he works at home so has some flexibility, but only when it suits him)
Lucky for them that they add value the rest of the time!