to ask if being a single mum ever gets better

[Maccapacca88]

I'm on my own with 2 under 3. Getting no sleep, no social life, no sex and am bored out of my fucking skull. I've completely lost my identity and can just see no end in sight.

It gets easier. Big hugs. Hard as it is, when they’re older and less trouble you’ll regret wasting time feeling miserable when they were this age. FWIW it’s hard for couples when kids are that age, but particularly when you’re alone. Chin up. You’ll get your life back

For me personally no it doesn't. It's crap being a single mother with nobody to help out or pick up the slack when you are frazzled. Unless you are well paid you are always broke. Everything is your responsibility from bath time to cooking to helping with homework. When they go to bed you sit there in front of the telly by yourself.

Dating is nigh on impossible unless you have good trustworthy babysitters and when you do it's difficult to juggle two separate lives until you meet someone decent enough to let into your kids lives.

As a single parent you have all the worry when they are poorly, nobody to take over when you catch their viruses and you are throwing up whilst they have recovered and want to go to the park.
Holidays can happen if you can afford them but it's home from home to be honest, same shit, different place.

Somebody will be along soon with some positivity I hope.

Being out of an abusive or unhappy relationship and on your own is obviously much better but being a single parent isn't much fun.

Hopefully some positivity here! I’m a single parent of a very nearly 2 year old. I’ve been on my own for a year and it is going well. First thing I did when separated was find a reliable babysitter and have paid for my daughter to have some daytime sessions with her so they know each other. Obviously costs but I have had a little (not a lot) family help. I like to be independent but for the sake of both myself and my daughter having a good life I gratefully accepted help when offered. I know I’m lucky!

Time out in little bits is key for me... I work 3 days and nursery cost is mainly covered by tax credits and those work days include bits of me time... lunch breaks, occasional swim before work.

Hasn’t been easy to get her dad to help on weekends but I push for help from him too. Holidays are tagging along with family for now. Mush App has been good for making friends.

I’m having an ok time. Lonely sometimes. Not dating yet but all is ok!

Hope it gets better! 💐

It gets so much better. Been single parenting since they were 1 and 5, now 3 and 8. So much easier.

Single mum for four years now. Kids were 2 and 5 when I moved out. Every year is better than the last despite major health setbacks. The kids get easier, you don’t have to compromise with anyone, put up with anyone’s moods and generally do what you want (dependant upon children). Finances and work are my biggest problems but everything else is great xxxx

Not really, sorry . Nine years in here and it's still a struggle tbh. Although I hope it gets easier when they're both at secondary school. I do get to go to the gym on my days off (I work pt) but I haven't been out since 2015. And frankly I'm too tired to go out.
I'm playing a long game and just trying to keep working and healthy until my kids are teens and become more independent.

They get older, and become good company rather than a responsibility.
They help out more and eventually can be left for short periods of time
It will get better

Honestly it does get better. Mine is about to turn 9. Been a single mum since she was 1. Once they start heading off to nursery then school things are much better.

Are there any single parent groups in the area? Anyone you can swap baby sitting with?

My grandmother was a single parent (ex husband had almost no involvement). She had an incredible life. Brilliant career, she was well respected in her field and spent a lot of time at conferences and the like. Lots of traveling, luxury international holidays every year. Good romantic life, many admirers, a couple of offers of marriage etc. Most importantly she has always had a wonderful bond with my father. Her life was certainly much better than it would have been if she had stayed with her abusive husband. You can have a wonderful life OP. I am sure things will get better for you.

its relentless but yes it does get better

It does. I'm now married to a wonderful man and because I was on my own with a child for 3 Years I am independent and really do enjoy what I have. Saying that I love when he goes out so I can just chill with my now 9 year old. Try meeting more single parents it may help. Then when they are older get them into clubs, gives you a break and they learn social skills etc

It gets better once they are in school. I have technically been a single mum for three years as DP of two years doesn’t live with me. To begin with my youngest was 2.5 so not in full time education and still at an age where she was having tantrums etc. It was really fucking difficult. Fast forward a year and they were all in full time education, it got a lot easier then.

I remember when I had three under three and it was an uphill struggle just to make it through the day. I also felt as though I had no identity. The best thing I ever did was going to university and then subsequently getting a career, it has transformed my life.

As for dating, I was fortunate that my DC saw their dad every weekend so I went on dates then and honestly didn’t mind only seeing DP once a week until comfortable enough to introduce him to my DC. He now spends half the week here. If you can get a trustworthy babysitter (any willing relatives or friends?) that would help.

It isn’t easy but it does get easier the older they get and the more independence they gain, I promise.

All the people that think being a single parent is really tough, is that because you originally had a partner for a significant period of time. I’ve been a single mother to two since they were babies and I honestly don’t think it’s bad, but maybe because I’ve never known any different? I would hate to live with another adult now and have to factor them in decisions. My ex was useless around the house to so I’d feel like I had another person to make a mess and clear up after. I much prefer being in control of my own home, but as I say maybe that’s because my relationship was awful.
I’m lucky I have family nearby for baby sitting etc but essentially I jiggle everything and when the kids were babies were with me 24/7, obviously now with school/work that’s not the case.

To add, my children’s dad does not have them at all and I haven’t been on a date for over 4 years, through choice though. Just don’t have the time for romance or have any interest in it at the moment. Maybe one day that will change but for now I’m happy on my own.

Single mum for 7 years, dd is 12. It does get so much easier! It is so hard when they are younger, but now dd is older we have a brilliant time together and I can have a little more me time.

I hope so but I'm not holding my breath.

Ds is 6 and I've been a lp since he was 1 month old.
It's relentless. I'm constantly ill, I think because I'm never able to fully rest and get better.
I'm permanently tired between working and child/house stuff.
I have no money for nice extras like holidays. (This is getting me down a lot recently as Ds is now realising that nearly all of his friends go on planes to fun places in the holidays).
And finally, I'm so lonely. Dating is impossible unless I want to invite strangers to my/our home whilst Ds is in bed. This is never going to happen so that's that.
His father is not in the picture at all, emotionally or financially, so even if I had a date, it'd be another 6/8 weeks before I could see them again. I doubt anyone would be happy with that arrangement 😂.

I hope so much something will change in the future but I can't see it happening. This is my life.

Yes it gets loads better, especially when they start school. You're likely to make friends with the other mums, and over time you'll regain your identity. I've been a single parent for always, mine are 8 and 12 now, and I've been seeing a lovely man for 2 years, so there's plenty of good times yet to come for you.
Bizarrely I sometimes think being on your own is almost easier, at least it's certainly easier that being with a rubbish partner. I have friends whose husbands don't help out when kids are ill etc, so as well as being tired, they're constantly livid with their husbands. At least for me I know it's just me!

Lone parent for nearly nine long years here. Im unsure if it's gotten easier as they've got older or whether I'm just more used to it.
There are days when it's draining and I'm constantly skint and I don't get any break as neither dc go to their dads, but my dc are lovely, independent and we're a team plus and I have good friends.
I agree with what others have said dating is problematic as I'd really need to know that the person had staying power before I even introduced them to my dc, but have friends, who were lone parents who have met people online and are now married to them, so it is possible.