Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that there are more affairs in the police force

54 replies

everafteragain · 04/04/2018 15:28

I have a friend who is a police officer. The stories she tells me about work colleagues having affairs behind their husbands/wife's backs seems to be a new one every week.
I have known her for years and some of the details of these stories maybe exaggerated but I have no reason to think she is lying.
The thing is these affairs are all happening during work hours, mainly on night shifts. Quite often the people involved end up leaving their partners and family's but then a few years down the line they have another affair with another colleague Confused
Not just uniformed officers but support staff (phone) too.
Now I haven't been living under a rock and I realise affairs happen but it seems rife in the police force.
Not only that but should they not actually be policing rather than shagging it is that just me ?

OP posts:
Thurlow · 04/04/2018 16:16

DP is in the police. Currently he does a horrible shift pattern that leaves him permanently knackered, and then has to come home and look after two small children

I've said to him before if he did cheat on me I swear my first instinct might be to applaud him for finding either the time or the energy to manage one Grin

He does say there's quite a lot of casual affairs going on but like someone else said, it seems to be certain teams that 'indulge' more than others.

GeminiWarrior · 04/04/2018 16:17

It depends on the type of night shifts. Not all of them are ‘response’ 999 calls. My DP does ones guarding crime scenes quite frequently, where he is sat in a car with another officer for 10 hours just keeping an eye on the crime scene. It would be an easy way to at least ‘get to know someone’ that bit better.

dimots · 04/04/2018 16:17

You don't need much time for a quick shag in the car at the end of a shift, which is what a lot of the police I know of seem to go for.

everafteragain · 04/04/2018 16:18

Thurlow I truly believe there are some good guys out there and it sounds like you have found one Smile
Hope this isn't causing anyone offence it's more just a chat to wonder which planet I have been living on Wink

OP posts:
everafteragain · 04/04/2018 16:20

Yes Gemini it seems to happen a lot in the offices during the night shift so these people are not front line police so to speak. Maybe they have a little more free time.

OP posts:
19lottie82 · 04/04/2018 16:21

Police officers have colleagues that they prob spend more 1 on 1 time that with their own husbands / wives.

Any job that puts you in a situation like that is going to be a bit of a shag fest!

frasier · 04/04/2018 16:22

I've heard this. In fact when SIL married a policeman, MIL told me it at the wedding! Shock

Sure enough, few years down the line they divorced but I have no idea what the grounds were.

Buster72 · 04/04/2018 16:23

Relationships between colleagues are common because shift patterns make it easier.
If you mean actual sex happening at work you will find most are too busy to even contemplate it.
There have been studies done that the intense situations mean that people see each other in a different light and develop strong bonds.

everafteragain · 04/04/2018 16:23

True ! Still a bit shit for their other half tho Hmm

OP posts:
x2boys · 04/04/2018 16:23

It doesn't surprise me I worked as a nurse in mental health and it was rife in the trust I worked in too I think It was a combination of odd working hours and we could have some traumatic shifts much like the police .

MammaTJ · 04/04/2018 16:26

Having worked nights for a long time in the past (not in the police) I think working night shifts give a sense of closeness that you don't get when not fighting your natural body clock to do a job of work. That, if you were so inclined, might lead to affairs, or, as in my case, rumours that you are having an affair, even if you are not.

19lottie82 · 04/04/2018 16:26

My friend went into the police force with a long term boyfriend, and came out with a girlfriend after having an affair with a femal colleague!

Pinkvoid · 04/04/2018 16:30

My friend is a police officer and she started shagging her superintendent when he was still married. I did look upon it with disdain at the time and told her he would likely never leave his wife (and mother of his DC might I add) for her. She is also 12 years his junior might I add. He did leave his wife for her and they have been officially together for two years now.

I had no idea it was rampant within the police force.

everafteragain · 04/04/2018 16:32

What surprises me is the ones who get together work together and then still manage to have other affairs. Then they all have to carry on working together afterwards Hmm just couldn't cope with the drama.

OP posts:
TheCraicDealer · 04/04/2018 16:43

I've heard this too, from a few difference sources including ex and serving officers. I suppose alternating shift patterns, plenty of overtime going and shifts often running over give you plenty of opportunity, the "highs" from dealing with difficult/dangerous situations and close bonds with colleagues just makes it almost inevitable.

DH is in the military police (very different for a number of reasons) and I wouldn't be keen on him joining the civilian police. Not just because of this, but I'd be lying if I said it wasn't a factor.

leccybill · 04/04/2018 16:48

Yes everyone I know in the police is having/has had affairs.

Used to be quite a bit of it about in teaching but we're all too knackered and overworked these days. Don't hear of it as much!

everafteragain · 04/04/2018 16:48

It is very interesting to hear it from other people's perspectives too. I do feel it's a shame that this is one of ways to deal with the stress. There obviously should be more help for the stress but that would mean more money which is in very short supply.

OP posts:
everafteragain · 04/04/2018 16:51

Really leccybill ? I have a few friends in the police but non of them are as close as this particular one so probably wouldn't fill me in on the details Wink
Luckily she is leaving soon because some of the things she tells me when she is drunk (not just about affairs) makes me Shock

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 04/04/2018 16:54

My sister worked as a civilian for the police for about 10 years and she always said affairs were pretty rife.

My friend is a paramedic and says the same thing.

everafteragain · 04/04/2018 16:56

But they are really really stretched aren't they ? Police and Paramedics. How the hell do they find the time. I mean I know it doesn't take that long Blush but on the tv programs I have watched they don't even have time to eat !

OP posts:
leccybill · 04/04/2018 16:56

I also know 2 police officers with a bad shoplifting habit! Shock

everafteragain · 04/04/2018 16:57

Leccybilll do we know the same person 🤣 oh dear ! I suppose we expect them to be almost superhuman don't we.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 04/04/2018 17:00

As busy as police and paramedics etc are, they have the sort of job where they can quite easily be late home, without it causing any suspicion.

I doubt they ever get home at the same time twice in any one week.

everafteragain · 04/04/2018 17:01

Worral there is a lot of overtime available as well that could also be used as an excuse

OP posts:
Andrewofgg · 04/04/2018 17:02

Similar in the Prison Service, I believe.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.