School and confidentiality

[RocknRolla]

Was wondering if schools are allowed to tell another parent about my dd autism diagnosis.
I can’t find anything online but I met a parent from the school and she has said if I had known your dd had autism I wouldn’t have complained about her behaviour.
I was aware that a parent had complained about my daughters behaviour in class and how disruptive she can be, but didn’t think the school would be allowed to say that my dd has autism.

In short the answer is no the school should not discuss your child's medical diagnosis with another parent without asking your permission to do so, it is a breach of confidentiality.

Thank you. I didn’t think they were but wasn’t sure.

No it isn’t their information to share without your consent (if there was some sort of child protection concern they could possibly justify it to specific agencies but not to another parent)

It may be that the other parent asked and they where cagey about the answer but even then it’s not on. I would write to School asking for an explanation

Will be speaking to the school after the holidays about it. Her exact wording was if you had told me dd had recently being diagnosed with autism I wouldn’t have complained about her distracting my daughter. Was so taken aback i didn’t know what to say as it’s not something we have spoken with apart from close family and the school.

They shouldn't share that information, but in reality I've found schools to be very lax with confidentiality.

I know when my friend complained about her ds being picked on (he has autism) they said something along the lines of that obviously they can't discuss x but that she should be aware that there are other additional needs students within the class.

I think a lot of the time they say stuff without saying it directly and so it would be quite hard to challenge. It'd be worth asking them though.

Is it possible that your DD has told other pupils in class and the parent's child therefore told her? My DD has told me who has autism and other issues in her class.

Nope shawshankredemption dd doesn’t even know yet that she has autism. She was only diagnosed in December and they are assessing for other issues so we didn’t want to say anything to her until we know everything. The children are only 5 so doubt that they would no about autism.

A friend messaged me a while back to say that a teacher at our school told her (in a social setting at a weekend) something private about my dc (that no one else knew but the teacher), this related to a short term health problem that my dc had. I am sick of stuff like this, our school is in a small town, everyone knows everyone, but it is no excuse for being unprofessional. I am still debating what to do about it.

I would be very annoyed in your shoes op.

Is it possible the whole class were shown an informative programme to help them understand autism and the teacher has accidentally mentioned your DD when asking them to be understanding?

DS had issues with some other kids and so the teacher offered to show a film and discuss with all his class, I think it was clear from the information in the programme that DS had autism afterwards but has helped

I don’t think so as the Mum said that the teacher said it. The Mum said that she asked her child to be moved away from my dd as she was distracting her and the teacher said that it would be difficult as my dd has recently been diagnosed with autism and they were working on my daughters behaviour problems with her. I will be speaking to the school after the holidays about it.

Oh that’s definitely wrong then. I would make a complaint, as you don’t know if she is also talking to DD about it without your permission either

Ah, in that case, I think you are due an apology from the school.

Well I was going to ask if the teacher 'disclosed' in a roundabout way. I find these things impossible and annoying.

If she said directly then definitely you have grounds for complaint.

She has probably alluded to it and the other mother has joined up the dots.

A similar thing happened with us when my DS was in Reception. There was an incident with another child, and the Head, by her own admission, told the other parent that ‘the other child’ (ie mine) has autism. The other parent would have made a complaint I think, but was very understanding in the circumstances. The Head told me this had happened, not the parent. When there are incidents like this, his school never mention the other child’s name (although chances are their child told them who it was). Maybe I could have been annoyed, but actually I was grateful and relieved. I then told the class parents via our FB group about his diagnosis. Some parents (a minority) have been difficult, but most are very supportive. All the children in his class know he has ASD and are (generally) lovely to him.
Equally, we were open with DS from very early on about his ASD. He knew he was different, and wanted to know why he was going to appointments (he also has other needs). We felt it was important for his mental health in the long term that he knew as early as possible. So he understood why he was different, and that it was ok. We didn’t give it a label initially, but DS asked quite early on what autism is. Presumably he’d heard us discuss it, or had picked up on something in an appointment.
But I know it is different for every family, and this approach doesn’t work for everyone.
What is your relationship like with the school? It’s going to be really important for your daughter that you have a good one with her teachers and the SENCO. If you feel the need to raise it, you should, but maybe a gentle question first? It might be entirely innocent, such as the teacher saying something quite innocent, and the mum joining the dots.

We have decided to speak to the teacher when the schools go back, but it wouldn’t surprise me if she did say it to her. We will be mentioning it a meeting we have with the senco and dds salt. The school have been terrible they told me they weren’t used to dealing with children with additional needs and that they weren’t sure on what to do. We had thought about home educating but DH wasn’t keen on it so think we need to look at schools with better provisions for dealing with autistic children. DD hasn’t been told about her autism as she wouldn’t understand it and is waiting for further assessments so there is no point in confusing her until we have a fuller picture.