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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Apparently this “isn’t enough food”

472 replies

foodFood · 04/04/2018 13:19

Dd is 8
Height and weight fine

I’ve just been told by a visiting friend I’m basically starving her when she saw her lunch !
1 mini pitta
6 mini breadsticks
Dessert spoon of houmous
Dessert spoon of guacamole
Bowl of strawberries cut up (6 big ones)
A frube

That’s fine isn’t it??
For breakfast she had a bowl of plain yogurt and loads of berries
She will most likely have an afternoon snack usually cheese or a piece of fruit and dinner is normally casserole/fish pie/jacket potato and soup or similar
She has milk before bed
She’s fine !! Always has small snacks lunches and doesn’t complain of hunger
Friend was aghast and said her kids at 18 m old ate more than that

OP posts:
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Goldenbear · 04/04/2018 20:53

My DC had massive appetites as toddlers and preschoolers but that went at about 4 that should say above.

PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 04/04/2018 20:54

XMIL used to tell me I was starving my DC. DD1 was the low end of average for weight, DS1 has cystic fibrosis, so would even be underweight if he lived on nothing but chips. Tell her to keep her nose out. BTW, the aforementioned XMIL had raised 2 obese DC. Hmm

Feelings · 04/04/2018 20:58

Unless she's naturally choosing to eat that way I would say that seems very little for her. My 4 year old is a grazer, constantly grazes throughout the day and deffo consumes more carbs and fats than that but she's a healthy weight and very slender.

I think I can understand why you're friend felt like it was very little, but everyone's appetite is different.

gingergenius · 04/04/2018 21:01

My dd eats similar portions and is perfectly fine. Mine deffo tells me when she's hungry!

PurplePenguins · 04/04/2018 21:20

Every child is different. At 8 DS1, 2 and 3 would have eaten twice that for lunch. Ds4 is 7 and eats about that if not less for lunch. He's a grazer though. Typically he will have 1 weetabix for breakfast, fruit and/or frube about 11, half a sandwich and grapes for lunch, a piece of fruit or toast around 4, his dinner around 5.30 and a slice of bread and butter before bed (he was deemed overweight at his reception check by a whole 7oz!!!!!).
If she isn't hungry and your not concerned about her weight then she's fine :)

Glug44 · 04/04/2018 21:23

Children are all different. Only you know your child. Next time retaliate by suggesting she overfeeds her child.

applesandpears56 · 04/04/2018 21:26

My 4 year old needs way more than that!
At 8 they need much much more than that

Loopyloopy · 04/04/2018 21:27

So long as her height and weight are ok, and that's how much she wants, it's fine. It is very important that thay learn to listen to their body. Many people are taught to finish the plate, and so do not stop when they are full.

Yogafailure · 04/04/2018 21:29

My 9 year old would wolf that down as a snack and be looking for his lunch afterwards. He eats adult portions pretty much these days and isn't overweight etc either

5plusMeAndHim · 04/04/2018 21:41

I worry the obesity neurosis many mners have is going to breed a generation of eating disordered young people.
It is a million times better to have a chubby kid than an anorexic one

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 04/04/2018 22:01

Do you think so? I don't. I think that some of the mothers on this thread take a huge pride in how much their child(ren) eat, how slim/slender they are, how fleet of foot they are, moving around all the time, yada yada - and those children may well be learning that their appetites are to be satisfied all the time, that whatever quantities of food they want to eat they should have. I disagree with that approach personally and I think that some (currently smug) parents are going to have a very loud wake-up call.

This thread seems full of pseudo-dieticians who are really quite judgemental and overtly smug, so convinced are they that their way is right. The OP has probably realised her mistake by now and won't post about food again.

I agree with JellyBabies, OP, you're doing great.

LaurieMarlow · 04/04/2018 22:06

At a population level, obesity is a much, much bigger problem than anorexia.

And since when does eating small portions equal anorexia anyway? Most of us eat too much.

Echobelly · 04/04/2018 22:27

Yup, kids all need different amounts. I barely ate anything as a child - I was slightly underweight, but perfectly healthy.

Goldenbear · 04/04/2018 23:17

5plusMe, I don't see how it is a neurosis when it is just 'fact' that children have varying appetites and in my DC's case this has changed over the years. I think some people have a hard time accepting that children are not all the same and some simply do not want to consume a lot of food, not in term time, not in the holidays, not at a special celebration, not at all and it is not a habit forced upon them, they're just not interested. My 7 year old doesn't particularly like chips, some people think this is highly odd for a child. She prefers sushi and some people do think you have influenced those preferences.

NobodyKnowsTiddlyPom · 04/04/2018 23:24

My 6 yo would be absolutely ravenous if he was given that for lunch! He has bigger portions than me for most meals though - he is very very active and extremely lean so he burns it all off.
My 8yo daughter has quite a small appetite, and naturally eats very healthily, but she does eat a fairly substantial breakfast. She might be happy with that for lunch as long as she had some lettuce/cucumber, ham and/or cheese to go with the pitta bread.
My other daughter would be mortified to be given that for lunch!

Booie09 · 05/04/2018 06:19

@5PlusMeAndHim how is better to be chubby than anorexic? I would say being a over eater throws up it's own mental health issues! At the end of the day you can't force children to eat. Growing up in the 70s/80s we had breakfast,lunch,dinner hardly any snacks in between and sweets we had on occasion. If we didn't like what was served we went hungry. Some children eat far to much.

Gottagetmoving · 05/04/2018 07:28

It is a million times better to have a chubby kid than an anorexic one

Neither is good.

Gottagetmoving · 05/04/2018 07:30

It seems too many parents worry about their child not eating enough and too many don't seem concerned their child is eating too much.
If you constantly give your children large meals and snacks, they will get used to that eating pattern.

Unihorn · 05/04/2018 07:49

Portion size guidelines are far smaller for children than people seem to believe. Add to that the fact that some children naturally eat less and your daughter is perfectly normal.

I only really eat two full meals a day, breakfast and dinner, and then snack on something small at lunch if I'm hungry. As a teen I would only eat lunch and dinner as I couldn't stomach breakfast. Some people just don't like eating as much. Some like eating small amounts often or large amounts less often. It doesn't mean having an eating disorder for Christ's sake.

www.healthychildren.org/English/healthy-living/nutrition/Pages/Portions-and-Serving-Sizes.aspx

Orangettes · 05/04/2018 08:08

Meal looks fine, surely if she wants more she'll just ask for it?

CountessNatasha · 05/04/2018 10:26

This is a really weird thread!

I’m honestly baffled by the people who think their 1 year old would be “starved” with a mini pitta, 6 breadsticks, guacamole, hummus, frube (is this yoghurt?!) and fruit! That’s a huge amount of food for a child or, honestly, for most adults.

I’m a paediatrician and to think anorexia is a bigger problem than obesity is ill-informed. Most of us are categorically not teaching our children about good portion control. Many of the posts I read here criticising the OP stated that their children ate ham, crisps, cupcakes etc. Shit, basically.

OP as someone said “eat real foods, mostly plants - not too much” - you’re doing this, you’re doing really well. Even more importantly is that you’re allowing your child to find her set-point with regards to appetite and that’s a hugely vital skill that will set her up for life.

Don’t worry. Pat yourself on the back. Carry on as you are (except the frube, it sounds like an alien’s snack!)

AsTheMilesTheyDisappear · 05/04/2018 10:29

Breakfast isn't enough imo. The rest sounds normal.

Presumably it varies and if she asks for more, she gets it.

PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 05/04/2018 10:32

It's enough for the OP's DD, clearly. My DD doesn't even start to get hungry until 12pm. Unfortunately, lunchtime for her class is 12.30.

MorningsEleven · 05/04/2018 10:39

Carry on as you are (except the frube, it sounds like an alien’s snack!)

What's wrong with a Frube?

80sMum · 05/04/2018 10:52

That sounds fine to me OP. It's about the same quantity as I would have served to my children when that age.

I do think that, in general, children tend to eat massively more nowadays than they did 30 years ago. One of the biggest changes is the constant availability of snacks. Mine were very rarely given snacks between meals, unless there was an exceptionally long gap between meals for some reason. But children today seem never to go longer than a couple of hours without eating something! How do they ever learn what 'hungry' feels like if they are continously plied with top-ups?

I am also astonished by the large portions that children eat nowadays. I would, for example, have given a 5-year-old less than half of an adult portion, but my 5-year-old grandchild ate an entire portion of ready-made lasagne, for example - and still asked for more! Yet it would have been too much for me to eat!