Apparently this “isn’t enough food”

[foodFood]

Dd is 8
Height and weight fine

I’ve just been told by a visiting friend I’m basically starving her when she saw her lunch !
1 mini pitta
6 mini breadsticks
Dessert spoon of houmous
Dessert spoon of guacamole
Bowl of strawberries cut up (6 big ones)
A frube

That’s fine isn’t it??
For breakfast she had a bowl of plain yogurt and loads of berries
She will most likely have an afternoon snack usually cheese or a piece of fruit and dinner is normally casserole/fish pie/jacket potato and soup or similar
She has milk before bed
She’s fine !! Always has small snacks lunches and doesn’t complain of hunger
Friend was aghast and said her kids at 18 m old ate more than that

My two would be kicking off with that. Would be nowhere near enough food and they’re 2 and 3! Both are on a higher height centile than weight and my 3 year old is a little on the slim side but not worryingly so.

But i’m told that my two eat more than any other children at nursery - often double what the others do.
I don’t know why.

Some children eat like sparrows and seem healthy - I guess you just have one of those.

That's a 250 calorie lunch

On top of FF yoghurt for breakfast (a cup full, ish) and berries, another 200 calories

A mid afternoon snack around 100 calories

And a 500 calorie dinner (allowing for her small appetite but also OP's proclivity for not cutting fat out of food)

And milk at bedtime, another 100 calories

That's just over 1000 calories a day. The NHS says she should need 1625 calories a day.

A dessert spoon is actually very little - did you actually mean a dessert spoon? Was there anything in the mini pitta? It kind of reads like: small bit of bread, small breadsticks, bit of hummus/guacamole, some fruit and yoghurt (duplicating breakfast).

That doesn't sound like much for a healthy 8 year old child, unless they had a substantial breakfast and dinner. More suitable for a 2-3 year old (and many 2-3 year olds would eat more!). Mini pittas are tiny- why not a full size pitta?

We are on a budget yes but I do a dessertspoon as previously had done more and dd would always leave some so it’s for that reason rather than saving money

My DS(9, tall and skinny) would eat that for starters!

Low sugar fortified breakfast cereals are a good one to have on hand if budget conscious. I have teenagers who are always scouting for food in the evening ...they go for a dish of oatflakes or something like that for supper. They are a good calorie booster with added vitamins...but only the low sugar ones.

Does she ask for more food when she's hungry? I think that's the key.

Is she active and full of energy like an average 8yo? Unless she's grey-skinned, lethargic and obviously hungry then your friend is totally ignoring that people eat different amounts (DH's SIL and I are same height, same body shape - I eat waaaay more than she does!).

Some days my 8yo would be more than happy with that. Some day's he'd want that doubled plus some more!! It depends what he's doing and been doing.

out of curiosity I googled the calorie needs of an 8 year old, It comes up as depending on size and sex as between 1400 and 1800 a day

I then checked the cals in a typical day for your DD

Mini Pitta - 79 cal
6 mini Breadsticks - 83 cal
Homous (1/6 of a tub) 130 cal
Gucamole (1/4 of a tub) - 60cal
Strawberries (a large one is 6 cals) so 36 cals
Frube - 42 cal
Full fat yoghurt - 72 cal
Berries - 36
Cheese string - 66 cal
Portion of chicken casserole - 244 cal

Total cals 728

Ok so there is a deficit but maybe your DD has a slower metabolism or a larger portion of casserole and maybe a larger slice of cheese (I allowed foe a cheese string)...and then there are drinks if she has Orange juice or milk that could add more cals. I wouldn't worry if she is healthy and growing :)

My DD always had as small appetite - as a child that would have been more than enough for her. Now as an adult she still eats very few snacks and can;t manage big prtions of main meals. Doesn't eat desserts, she is naturall very slim and seems to have an inbuilt filter that says when she has had enough (unlike me !!)

I struggled to get her to eat breakfast in the mornings when she was at school - but she would eat a piece of fruit at break time (although she went from bedtime to breaktime the next day with only a piece of fruit or occasionally a cereal bar - it wasn't enough but what can you do - you can't force food down their throats)

You know your DD - she isn;t begging you for food, she si turning down food when she is not hungry - as my DD did. My dd is a perfectly healthy adult. although she now does eat a breakfast usually porridge or bran flakes.

Since your DD does eat breakfast, if you are worried you could make it a bit more protein based (boiled egg and soldiers ? or give her a chunk of cheese to eat after her yogurt). But if she's a healthy weight, then she is getting enough - I'm sure she'll soon tell you if she was hungry. (my DD was another one who didn;t bother about chocolate - an easter egg could last her months - just breaking of a little bit occasionally to nibble - My DS on the other hand would have wolfed an egg in about half an hour)

Just go with what she wants. You aren;t underfeeding her and your friend probably isn't over feeding hers - kids are just different.

You know your child it sounds fine 8 year olds come in lots of different sizes
Does she have that every day?

I think you are worrying too much I also think I sometimes fall down a rabbit hole into a parallel universe when I read threads on mumsnet about what their DC's diets are.

I don't think that's very much, but as others have said, I'm sure she'd tell you if she's hungry.

Where is the protein?
@Quietlife1979
There's protein in houmous.

I don't think it sounds a lot - maybe she likes to graze so perhaps just offer fruit or crackers and cream cheese etc every mid morning and mid afternoon. I used to cut fruit up into a bowl as a frequent snack for mine when younger , they wouldn't always ask but wouldn't usually turn it down. Maybe Google average calorie requirement for age 8 girls and see if she is having enough.

Sounds a little on the small side. I would have added a bit of cheese, chicken, ham or another pitta in there too. But if she is healthy and happy then I would not be worried.

These threads are always interesting. I don’t think anyone ever agrees. What a ‘healthy’ diet is for a child, how much children need etc. But I do agree with a PP who said we have as a whole lost sight of what a healthy weight child looks like and that it’s ok for children to feel hungry when it’s mealtime- that’s when my kids eat best- when they’re actually hungry and ready for lunch/dinner not stuffed full of snacks. For comparison, my 8 year old DD has had today:

Breakfast: small ish bowl coco pops and semi skimmed milk (holidays treat)

Then she went to a holiday club today and took a packed lunch, some of this will have been eaten as a morning snack:

Wholemeal roll with butter and ham
A large handful fresh strawberries
Small packed dried mango
Fruit yo yo
2 frube yogurts
Happy monkey chocolate milk
3 mini picnic eggs and 3 cocktail sausages
Water

No snacks

Early dinner:

1 whole salmon fillet marinated and cooked in sesame oil, soy sauce and a tiny bit of honey
40g dry weight (I only weigh it to not waste!) whole grain rice
3 broccoli florets and a tablespoon peas

Pudding:
Large bowl of fresh strawberries
Some of her Easter chocolate

She’ll probably have some further snack this evening.

This isn’t hugely typical- lunch wasn’t great for example (too much sugar!) but it’s The holidays, she’s very active, healthy weight and dinner (the main course and fruit) wer good.

You have to know your own child and trust your instincts a bit. If she’s not hungry and seems healthy and is a healthy weight it probably is ok.

Also I think people forget that children have hungry days and not so hungry days just like us. Some days my kids eat loads others they just don’t want as much.

Going by your post describing her weekly diet I would say there's nothing to worry about. Breakfast could be a little better but so could DS1s coco pops and smoothie in the mornings. :o

It can be a pain to get them to eat anything before school.

If she's full, growing and healthy then what's the problem?

There are a lot of very defensive posts on this thread. People seem to be associating healthy food with dieting.

OP, you have indeed awoken the crazy food-obsessives on this thread. Mumsnet posters can be extremely judgemental about food and what other people/their children eat.

I wonder how many smug posters with 'perfect weight' children will be saying that in future years?

Your daughter sounds fine, if she needed more, she'd eat more. If you're worried, perhaps see your GP.

Interesting thread though. I do notice how many parents arrive at school with pockets stuffed with snacks for their children for the walk home.

I also notice older children going into the corner shop and buying a large bag of Haribo to munch on the way home.

There was a thread yesterday about what time to arrive at the airport and the OP and lots of other posters kept referring to allowing time to "buy snacks". We have an amazing snacking culture in this country (and probably other countries) it can't be good for any of us but children need to be shown how to eat. They won't naturally know what a healthy day's food looks like unless we show them in childhood.

At that age, I hated food, it would be an accomlishment for me to eat one piece of bread and butter in my packed lunch. Now there is no stopping me, much to my weight.

Yesterday we had McDonald’s for lunch, my Dd (5) ate her meal and then told me she is still hungry. 😩 she’s below average weight bot normal height. I’m not sure how as she’s non stop eating, her favourite words are I’m hungry. Generally for school lunch I put a sandwich or chicken bites or pasta, a jelly or mousse or frube, Crisps, a chocolate biscuit bar and a fruit juice and that’s for both my Dd (5) and DS (10) and they both have fruit as a snack at break time.

If your Dd is happy with that p, that’s all that matters. It’s non of your friends business.

... and who coined the 'Where are the ?'. Always makes me want to look under my chair to see if it's there. It's so overused and pointed.

Some days my kids eat loads others they just don’t want as much.

Absolutely.

Some days DS2 eats like a bird, others I worry he's going to eat me.

I used to get so worried about it but when you look at his diet as a whole instead of day to day he's doing fine.

If she's full, growing and healthy then what's the problem?

The only potential problem is that a mild overall calorific deficit doesn't promote exercise, as the body regulates output downwards, which leads to a lack of fitness.

So you can remain growing, you can remain healthy, but at the same time your overall fitness doesn't achieve its potential. This isn't a problem in itself of course, but low fitness is more of a problem as you age, where there's a strong correlation.

But as always snapshots of a diet mean nothing.