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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

In Laws and wayward grandchild

4 replies

Unforgiving2 · 03/04/2018 21:45

My sil on DH's side has an adult 20 year old daughter, our neice. We used to be close to her but for the last 5 years where she has been addicted to coke, unable to hold a job down, been violent, stolen. Her mum (sil) has kicked her out numerous times and she has stayed with friends. She has now ran out of friends and is out of chances with sil as her younger children are all frightened of her.

A few months ago DH neice turned up at mine. I let her in not realising she was drunk/high and she was so over the top screaming and starting chasing my kids. I had her leave but she kept banging on the door and screaming. My children were terrified and now panic at the thought of seeing her. The eldest point blank refuses to ever see her again (age 10). I agree with this and don't want her near my home or family right now.

So now she is living with OAP in laws with no job, no friends, no money, nowhere to go. She sponges off them, manipulates them... Sil refuses to discuss her and dh and I are at a complete loss how to help, we are really worried for DH parents as they, even after everything, see only the good in their granddaughter and think sil is a monster for throwing her out and us unreasonable for not wanting to help her yet again.

I fear they will be taken advantage of, or driven to ill health. They are already unwell and vulnerable. What can I do??

OP posts:
Unforgiving2 · 03/04/2018 22:16

Anyone?

OP posts:
Homemenu1 · 03/04/2018 22:19

I have had a similar situation, there is nothing you can do, you can try to influence the in laws but they won’t listen until they are ready to.

Homemenu1 · 03/04/2018 22:21

FWIW my family member is not allowed near my children ever again. This caused a few problems to start with and I thought of as a witch.. now they see it, people have to live it first before they reach their level.

kitkatsky · 03/04/2018 22:27

Drunk por high (can only day I have experience of drunk relatives near older, vulnerable relatives) ask them to attend a support group for relatives and hear how support is good but feeds into the chaos of addiction. If that dsnt help you then look online. Addiction so awful

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