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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neighbour issues

9 replies

FeistyRed74 · 03/04/2018 21:41

Name changed for this.

I live at the end of a row of three terraced houses. There is a family in the other end house with 2 grown up (late teens/early 20s) children and a single bloke who works shifts in between. I get on fine with them all but much friendlier (used to be best mates but that's another AIBU) with the nearest neighbour.

The bloke next to me complains bitterly about the family at the end banging their front door all the time especially if it wakes him up if he's on nights or in bed early (9pm) if he's on days. It annoys me too but doesn't wake me. I generally listen to him moaning and agree that they are inconsiderate and suggest he talks to them about it as I think they are oblivious. He will rarely say anything to them though, just rants at me about them.

However, there are many, many times when his TV wakes me up at night or he wakes me up by banging about at 1,2 or 3am when he's drunk.I'm usually in bed by 9 most nights and asleep by 10.30). I really don't appreciate being woken up by his TV blasting out so will usually politely text him to ask him to turn it down. Followed by a thank you if he does turn it down. His response lately is usually aggressively toned saying he hasn't turned it up, it's the surround sound and makes out I'm the one at fault. Occasionally I'll try to make things more lighthearted and have a joke with him (being best mates in the past this was our norm) and he then thinks it's hilarious to turn it up even louder or start banging things about even more, banging on the walls or floors and generally making one hell of a racket. I have young children and don't want them woken up so don't find this funny at all.

In addition to this he bitches and moans about the parking on our road. He has 2 cars, one on the drive, one outside on the road. The neighbours at the end also have 2 cars (with only room for one on the drive) and he is constantly complaining about how they park and how anyone else who comes into our road parks saying how inconsiderate they are and how they think they own the road etc. The other night he had family visitors and they parked across my drive blocking it completely. (Others have done this in the past and he has been very vocal as to how wrong it is for them to do it). When I asked him to ask them to move it he got aggressive with me making out I didn't need access to my drive and then ignored further requests to move it. If this had happened to him there'd be uproar and I pointed out how cheeky he was considering his complaints about parking. He complains enough if anyone parks in "his space" on the road!
AIBU to ask him to turn his TV down late at night (he's got it on extra loud tonight 😡) and to ask him to get his visitors to move their car from across my drive?

OP posts:
Gide · 03/04/2018 21:44

YANBU and I would insist that the visitor moves the car. Why is he being such a twat and what happened that he’s no longer your best friend?

19lottie82 · 03/04/2018 21:45

No YANBU, but I honestly don’t have any suggestions here. You’ve tried being polite / reasonable, but it doesn’t sound like he’s going to change anytime soon.

I think your only options are put up with it, or move. Sorry Sad

Lacucuracha · 03/04/2018 22:02

Why do you feel you need to be friendly with him and have a laugh with him?

You need to accept the friendship is over and that he is an inconsiderate and nasty neighbour.

Keep a diary of his noise, his parking on your drive. Are you and he tenants? Could you complain to his landlord?

FeistyRed74 · 03/04/2018 22:21

Lac I don't feel a need to be friendly, the joking was whilst still friends. In the past we could have a laugh but not now.

OP posts:
FeistyRed74 · 03/04/2018 22:22

The houses are privately owned, not rented so no landlords.

OP posts:
Lacucuracha · 03/04/2018 22:32

Occasionally I'll try to make things more lighthearted and have a joke with him (being best mates in the past this was our norm) and he then thinks it's hilarious

I was referring to the above. Unfortunately an unreasonable person sees your lightheartedness as weakness.

Start documenting and recording and speak to the council, they will have rules for private owners too.

FeistyRed74 · 03/04/2018 22:36

Ah sorry, mixed up my tenses! We only fell out last week.

OP posts:
FeistyRed74 · 04/04/2018 17:29

The people at the end slammed their front door at 7am this morning. I did smile to myself GrinNo more me being considerate asking the kids to be quiet when he's on nights anymore.

OP posts:
Lacucuracha · 06/04/2018 14:02

Good!

But keep documenting incidents with dates and times, and do complain to the council. If he gets abusive, get the police.

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